Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes
Under The Lake
Moran:
(sighs) Maybe it's some kind of experimental craft that got left behind when they abandoned the site.
Bennett: Wait, you think the Army would just lose a prototype weapon?
Moran: You're new to the military, aren't you, son?
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The Doctor: Look. Told you. Crew.
(Moran and the ghost are squatting on the floor with their backs towards the Doctor and Clara.) Hello, sailors!
(The figures stand and turn, their lips moving.) Right, I did not expect that. Hands up who expected that.
(The figures walk forward.) Wait, wait. I don't think they're going to hurt us. I think that they're just curious.
(The alien stands nose to nose with the Doctor, while Moran looks down at Clara.) Clara: Are you sure?
The Doctor: Well, I mean, define sure. Look at you lovely chaps. What's happened to you, then?
(The figures turn away, still muttering to themselves.) Come on.
(The Doctor and Clara follow the figures.) Clara: What are they?
The Doctor: I haven't a clue. Isn't that exciting?
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Pritchard: Who the hell are you, and what are you doing here?
The Doctor: This is Clara, and I'm the Doctor.
(He shows them his psychic paper.) Pritchard: You're from UNIT.
The Doctor: Well, if that's what it says.
Pritchard: I'm Pritchard, this is Bennett.
O'Donnell: O'Donnell! Are you really the Doctor? I'm a huge fan! I mean, er, you know. Nice work.
Lunn: Tim Lunn, I sign for Cass.
The Doctor: Tell me, what about those things out there? What are they? Why are they trying to kill us?
Bennett: Well, they're er, they're ghosts.
The Doctor: They're not ghosts.
Lunn: Cass is saying
The Doctor: Thank you, but I actually don't need your help. I can speak sign.
(signs) Go ahead.
(Cass signs her reply.) No, no, actually, I can't. It's been deleted for semaphore. Someone get me a selection of flags.
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Pritchard: They're ghosts.
The Doctor: They're not ghosts. Have been trying to kill you, why haven't you abandoned the base?
Pritchard: That was my call. We've got about a trillion dollars worth of mining equipment here. We're not just going to abandon it. What? If it all goes pear-shaped, it's not them that lose a bonus.
The Doctor: It's okay. I understand. You're an idiot.
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The Doctor: They're ghosts! Yeah, ghosts
Clara: You said there was no such thing. You actually pooh-poohed the ghost theory.
The Doctor: Yes, well, well, there was no such thing as, as socks or smartphones and badgers until there suddenly were. Besides, what else could they be? They're not holograms, they're not Flesh Avatars, they're not Autons, they're not digital copies bouncing around the Nethersphere. No, these people are literally, actually, dead. Wow. This is, it's amazing! I've never actually met a proper ghost.
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The Doctor: Everything we see or experience shapes us in some way. But these words actually rewrite the synaptic connections in your brain. They literally change the way you are wired. Clara, why don't I have a radio in the Tardis?
Clara: You took it apart and used the pieces to make a clockwork squirrel.
The Doctor: And because whatever song I heard first thing in the morning, I was stuck with. Two weeks of Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre. I was begging for the brush of Death's merciful hand. Don't you see? These words are an earworm. A song you can't stop humming, even after you die.
Clara: Okay, so, the spaceship lands here. The pilot leaves the writing on the wall so whoever sees it, when they die, they become a beacon of the coordinates, while he / she / it snoozes in the suspended-animation chamber
The Doctor: Waiting for his / her / its mates to pick the message up. My God. Every time I think it couldn't get more extraordinary, it surprises me. It's impossible. I hate it. It's evil. It's astonishing. I want to kiss it to death.