"Gay Bed & Breakfast of Terror" http://www.beardyfreak.com/rvgay.php
On the eve of a large Gay and Lesbian party weekend five groups of guests arrive at the ‘Sahara Salvation Bed and Breakfast Inn’ as it’s renowned for being Homosexual friendly.
But the B&B is run by a fanatic Christian fundamentalist named Helen and her daughter Luella, who Helen wants to find a husband for , by converting a ‘confused’ Homosexual man back to the spiritual path of Heterosexuality, to move Luelle away from her sinful Lesbian desires.
And if all that wasn’t enough it turns out Luelle has a mysterious brother named Manfred who is meant to be kept locked up....
Opening with a groovy title sequence that sees a blonde go-go dancer belt out a fine tune called
‘Watch Out For The Straights’ "Gay B&B of Terror" starts out okay.
The Gay/Lesbian characters are all walking cliches of course and with such a title and such a set-up it will come as no surprise that director/star Jaymes Thompson’s film is camped up to the max and he keeps things moving at a steady lick (ho ho).
The film is far too long though and should have been tightened up in the editing phase.
And although the multiple flashbacks, that reveal various twists in the tale, are mostly entertaining enough (
indeed the Mother‘s flashback, about the conception of Manfred, is a glorious work of warped genius and also a great anti-Republican take on the origins of Freddy Krueger no less), they are generally too long and appear too late in the narrative and thus slow down the escalating chaos as we move towards the climax (ho ho).
Dialogue is not anywhere near the greatness of a John Waters film or is the deliver of it but there are still a few gems to be dug up and admired here:
Highlight has to be the deranged Helen’s utterly mad rant to a tied up Alex;
“You will no longer yearn for the engorged penis of a well-muscled man in uniform! From this point on you will embrace the light of God and dream of the sugar sweet holy vaginal walls of your soon to be wife, and my lovely daughter, forever”!
Indeed Helen, in the most flashy and Watersesque role, has all the best speeches.
Enjoy such gems as
“I must pray very hard…There’s too many fvcking assholes around”
What’s really surprising here though is the relative lack of strong sex or (really surprising) full-on nudity.
As a low-fi, SOV, Gay themed horror film it was surely not aimed at, or was ever going to catch, a mainstream audience or market, so why be so tame with the sexuality?
Plenty of opportunities for full frontal nudity are here, but instead we have underwear left on and towels wrapped around waists.
Indeed the only penis on display (can you believe, in a film called “Gay Bed & Breakfast of Terror”, have to write that!?) is attached to a blood covered dead body.
And talking of blood covered bodies…Where the film pretty much fails to deliver on the sex/nudity front it at least delivers on the horror front.
The murders are very bloody and pretty violent and whether it’s Helen or Luelle and their crucifix-handled dagger or Manfred and his foul fangs much blood is shed with lots of passionate shrieking to back it up.
The finale is wildly OTT and utterly chaotic and if it all seems a trifle forced and over-plotted at least the twist at the end is pretty amusing in concept, if strangely serious in much of its execution.
All of which results in a film that is sadly not as good as it should have been with such a set-up and a film that lacks much of the sex and nudity it should surely have had by default.
But despite all this “The Gay Bed & Breakfast of Terror” still manages to be fun, camp, passionate and ultimately entertaining thanks to the plentiful blood, some fun dialogue, the performances (especially Mari Marks as Helen and Georgia Jean as Luelle) and the general energy it gives off.
Next time though Mr Jaymes
‘assless leather chaps’ Thompson, pile in more damn sex and nudity please!