The Fixer Uppers (1935)
 

The Fixer Uppers (1935)
Stan and Olly are selling Christmas cards door to door, Arthur Housman aka The Drunk opens his door to find the two of them on his doorstep, Arthur is obviously drunk as he constantly wears an ice pack on his head, even when he goes outside for a drink."Merry Christmas, Mother "Merry Christmas, Ma"Hi, Mommy-mommy "and a hot cha-cha".As they move on to the next door there greeted by the adorable Mae Busch as Madame Pierre Gustav who is obviously upset.
Stan:Ask her if she's got a husband.That gets them.
Olly:Pardon the presumption, but you have a husband, of course?
Mae:Yes
Olly:Now you're right up our alley!We have one here which I think
is one of Stanley's tenderest thoughts.Listen to this.
"A merry Christmas, husband,
happy New Year's nigh
"I wish you Easter greetings,
hooray for the Fourth of July"
We call that our four-in-one card.You can use it all the year round.
Mae still upset is comforted by the the boys,she explains that her husband pays her little attention anymore,this then triggers Stan to remember a story he heard.
Stan:You know what? I knew a woman once that had a case just like yours but you know what she did?She got a fella to make love to her in front of her husband and it made the husband jealous.
Olly:Then what happened?
Stan: Well, when the husband got jealous his wife knew that he was in love with her just because he was jealous.If he hadn't have been jealous,he wouldn't have paid any attention to the fella that made him jealous, see?
Olly:What'd the husband do?Go out and shoot the other fella?
Stan:No. When the husband found out he was so pleased that he was jealous,he took his wife and kissed her and they went out again
and got married all over and then he kissed her again...
Olly: Just a minute.What happened to the other fellow?
Stan:When the husband found out he was jealous,he was so pleased
that the fella had made him jealous he gave the fella a lot of money because he'd made him jealous and they all lived happy ever after.
Olly's abit cautious at first (hardly surprising after hearing Stan's story) but $50 dollars to make her husband jealous.You can do it cheaper by the week. Mae suggests that her Charles Middleton as Pierre Gustave should find them embraced in a kiss where upon Mae grabs Stan and gets him in a clinch. Olly looks on as the kiss seems to last ages, Olly taps Mae on the shoulders,she releases Stan he then faints,he gets back up gives her a kiss and then this time she faints.
Ollie: "Now look what you've done"
Stan: "Well she started it!"
Mae seeing her husband arrive grabs Olly and kisses him just in time for Pierre Gustave to witness this betrayal
Pierre Gustave :I'm looking for the viper that destroyed the sanctity of my home.
So we've gone from selling Christmas cards door to door to infidelity in one fatal swoop,surely Olly would of learnt his lesson by now, how can he even contemplate one of Stan's ideas when Stan himself can never get the plan right when he repeats it back to Olly.Of course with a name like Pierre were to assume he is a French hot head, which explains why he challenges Olly to a duel and lets be honest here Olly makes for a pretty big target.In fact it gets abit grim later on, when Pierre thinks he has killed Olly (Mae put blanks in his gun) he then announces he is going to cut him up into little bit, which then prompts the duo to leave as fast as they can with Pierre in hot pursuit blasting away behind them. The Fixer Uppers story wise is abit far fetched, but then again when has that ever stopped them, and also there's a major leap of coincidence that's gets from the bar back to Pierre's flat just in time for the duel. That said the boys do get to kiss Mae Busch so you can't blame them for that. Charles Middleton or as you may know him as Ming the Merciless. Yes he was that dastardly villain in the old Buster Crabbe serials, is as always pretty damn good and knows how to play the baddie for sure.Im really surprised we never got to see him in some juicy Rko style horror movies he makes the perfect villain. Add a touch of Mae Busch and you got a pretty darn entertaining 2-reel short.


:xmaslol: :xmaslol: :xmaslol: :xmaslol: out of 5

Punch Drunks (1934)
 

Punch Drunks (1934)
Punch drunks was the 2nd official Three Stooges short film,Moe is a most unlikely boxing promoter who falls out with his associates. Curly's a waiter at a restaurant,Larry is a fiddler at the restaurant (what a coincidence) is playing the song pop goes the weasel.Hearing the song Curly goes into a rage and knocks out a boxer at the restaurant.Moe see's a chance of making money with Curly as a boxing champion and Larry on the fiddle.Where as Laurel and Hardy were fairly gentle in there slapstick,well compared to the Three Stooges they are.The Stooges are relentless in there eye poking , head slapping and general insanity.Story was written by Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Curly Howard , which may explain why its not actually War and Peace.But its quite a clever little gag having Curly turn into a fighter whenever he hears the Pop goes the Weasel song. The verbal jokes are all pretty weak and poor so its a good job the endless arguing and bickering and fighting is more than enough to keep you amused.You kind of knew with Laurel and hardy that at the core of there stories was there friendship,you never get any of that with the Stooges,Moe constant barks orders at Curly and Larry like the Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket but with even less compassion.Curly takes a good old beating in the boxing ring while Larry looks for a replacement for his violin."victim of soycumstance!"Eventually Larry gets hold of campaign truck with speakers blaring the pop goes the weasel tune,and Curly wins the fight to become world champion,unfortunately for Moe and Larry the music keeps on playing and Curly knocks the pair of them out,and then heads straight to the camera heading for us YIKES. The world is split into two types those that love the Stooges and those that don't,I do.

:psychosanta: :psychosanta: :psychosanta: :psychosanta: out of 5

I've never seen any Three Stooges films.

you is a stooge
 

As far as I remember the only time they got shown on British television was by channel 4 in there afternoon slot before countdown occasionally.go figure?

They can't be any worse than Abbott and Costello.

Get your coat, you're no longer welcome here! [emoji12]

I second that, although I should really see myself out because I don't like Laurel & Hardy....

The MTDS boy is a big fan after watching the recent, er, updated film which given what it is, isn't too bad. I then forced him to watch the original short films on YouTube until he poked his own eye out!

The Private Life of Oliver the Eighth (1934)
 

The Private Life of Oliver the Eighth 1932
Before the internet and Tinder,dating had to be done through the private add columns of the newspaper.Mae Busch a widow,is looking for a congenial young man to marry,Olly seeing Stan cutting the advert dismisses the idea "some old crab with a face that would stop a clock". Stan manages to convince Olly that its a good idea with Stan's usual "Tell me that again" so they both send letters to the widow making a bet on whole get a reply,or do they? Olly doesn't post Stan's letter a sign he was a bit insecure about the the whole bet in the first place.

Stanley: No, listen... I'd take some of the money, and I'd have her face lifted. Then we could settle down, congenial, and we would have to scrape chins any more... wouldn't have to work hard any more.

Oliver: Tell me that again.

Stanley: Well, I could take some of the money... and I'd have her skinned... and she'd be able to look at a clock without having to work hard any more... and we could settle down and scrape each other's chin... and congenial... if I didn't have to work hard anymore.

Oliver: I know exactly what you mean.

Well Olly wins the bet and goes off to marry the merry widow,when he arrives at the widows house he's greeted by the butler (Jack Barty) a raving loony who plays imaginary cards and serves imaginary food,this leads to two great gags one involving Stan showing Olly a card trick,only for Olly to smack the cards out of Stan's hand.The Butler picks up the cards only for Stan to spot that he has left one of the imaginary cards behind.Also you can see Stan's rising confusion as the imaginary food is served by the Butler. Of course Mae's intentions are not only dishonest but homicidal,apparently dumped by an Oliver she now swears vengeance on any man called Oliver,by cutting there throats.I have read some reviews that say this short is too long and a little slowly paced,but the longer the short the better I say,In fact Oliver the Eighth does feel more like a feature film than a 3 reel short comedy.There are some bizarre scenes in the film,like when Stan finds a pump action shotgun in the bedroom? then blasts a pair of Olly's long john's leaving a gaping hole.And seeing Mae Busch coming towards the camera brandishing a butchers knife is quite unsettling. Although its not an out an out horror,it does go to show you can mix comedy and chills pretty effectively given the right setting,this and the other short The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case really has an Old Dark House feel to it. But hey wouldn't you know it it was all just a dream THE END.

:xmasnuts: :xmasnuts: :xmasnuts: :xmasnuts: out of 5

Ants in the Pantry (1936)
 

Ants in the Pantry 1936
Anybody interested I can highly recommend the Three Stooges Collection,available as a box set or as individual discs,there all in order of releases starting from 1934 to right till 1959,every short film they made for Colombia Pictures.Considering the age of some of these films the picture quality is excellent,no print damage,no scratches no deterioration at all, unfortunately this cannot be said for the Laurel Hardy Hal Roach short features,most look like they have been through a tree shredder,strange ? In fact The Three Stooges Collection is some of the best bits of remastering ive seen,anyone who has bought one of those cheap public domain compilation dvds will know how terrible some of the prints were. Ants in the Pants poses that age old question of who in the hell would employ these three numb skulls, This time around they are pest exterminators ,and they've been told by there boss A.Mouser (what a name) if they don't drum up dome business then there sacked..You dumbkopf!' Seeing the first big posh mansion they come across they decide to invest the place with all sorts of insects and bugs and vermin. I really like the whole premise of this short film, it just gives a perfect excuse for the boys to cause untold havoc and chaos at a very upper class party., don't be conspicuous the waiter tells the boys,so there dressed in riding gear like the other party goers, they look anything but conspicuous .After that its just an excuse for Larry to hit curly with a hammer and people to scratch themselves silly with fleas while Moe goes around with one of those old fashioned pest sprayers.Bizarre moment ,Moe drops Larry into a piano full of cats,much ass kicking and eye poking proceed. In fact Curly gets a nice double slap from Moe .ouchh.

:xmaslol: :xmaslol: :xmaslol: :xmaslol: out 5



Gawkins - the Butler: ...and above all, don't be conspicuous!

Moe: Hey, if that conspicerous means what I think it does, I may have to punch you right in the nose.

Curley: Pipe down, it's derived from the Latin, no canna speaka da Ingalish.

Gawkins - the Butler: ...and above all, don't be conspicuous!

Moe: Hey, if that conspicerous means what I think it does, I may have to punch you right in the nose.

Curley: Pipe down, it's derived from the Latin, no canna speaka da Ingalish.