Spending time trying to tszuj my horror fiction into something other than a two-bit Thomas Ligotti rip-off means that these days I don't get to watch and review all that much (cue audible sigh of relief from my readers). That said, it would be remiss of me not to leave some kind of sticky trail whenever I do get to charge up my DVD player, so from now on I've decided to do that in the labour-saving form of semi-Haiku.


THE CHANGELING –

Red ball rolls down stairs
In house of autumnal grief
Good, not amazing.

THE FINAL EXAM –

Slasher lacking blood
Killer is just guy in coat
Student hi-jinks bore

MANDY –

Nick Cage crazy trip
Velvet neon bikes of hell
What happens, really?

LADY STREETFIGHTER –

Feverish nonsense
Bad ‘action’ as if made by
Gibbering baboon

POPCORN –

Burned creep’s portmanteau
Nineties slasher goes meta
No escape from screen

THE STUFF –

Moriarty goofs
Cohen gunk conspiracy
Don’t eat yoghurt, now

DON’T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS –

Thirteen Santa deaths
Peak Brit-grot sleazetacular
Eyes smile, Tosh Lines snaps

Decemberdike
 

December 21st

Blood From the Mummy's Tomb (1971)

Twenty years after a female mummy is brought back to England, members of the expedition are killed one by one and the expedition leader's daughter is possessed by the spirit of the dead Queen.

Despite Hammer's film having such a lurid title it doesn't actually feature a mummy at all. Although it does have a beautifully preserved Valerie Leon as the embalmed queen despite being hundreds of years old looking like she'd just walked out of a beauty salon in 1971.

This was to be the last film of director Seth Holt. Towards the end of the six week shoot the director collapsed on set and died of a heart attack. Hammer producer Michael Carreras took over during the final days shooting. I don't know if this was the reason but the film feels a bit mixed, some scenes are tense and really engage the viewer, whilst other sections of the film appear quite dull, even boring.

The film features some wonderfully, gory, artery pumping and ripped throat scenes that Tom Savini would be proud of. As with all Hammer's mummy films the sets are quite superb, even though the film takes place in the modern day, the museum that houses the mummy of the Queen could easily have been from the early twentieth century.

Andrew Keir fresh from the excellent Quatermass and the Pit is sadly underused here as Professor Fuchs, the expedition leader. Peter Cushing had actually begun filming the part but pulled out due to the death of his wife.

Due to the films commercial failure Hammer ended their interest in mummy films after this their fourth attempt at the subject.

Gremlins
A regular Xmas film for me; needs no introduction. I still love it

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A lot of the Xmas films like gremlins , home alone , die hard etc I haven't watched for ages and never seen more than twice .

Funny Farm. A New York sports journalist and his wife decide to pack it in and start a new life in a small country town in a bid to get out of the rat race and have a simpler life... but things don't go entirely according to plan. Chevy Chase stars in this very enjoyable late 80s comedy that is just gently humorous for its first 3/4, but becomes absolutely hilarious in its last act (which is also, entirely coincidentally as I don't recall ever seeing this before or, if I have, it must have been the late 80s and I certainly don't remember, set at Christmas, rather wonderfully). I really enjoyed this. :xmastreedance:

Masque of the Red death.

Prince Prospero(Vincent Price) plays a Devil worshipping tyrant who persecutes all the local villagers and burns down their houses when he discovers the red death in the town. and kidnaps Jane asher, her father and her lover in his castle. meanwhile he is having a big party for all the nobles and says they will be protected from the plague at the castle.

Very colourful film indeed from film director Roger corman with great period sets and atmospheres. light on gore, but makes up with genuine creepiness.
Vincent price is in top form in this one as the evil prince trying to corrupt the sweet and innocent francesca( excellently played by the gorgeous Jane Asher). and with the beautiful hazel court also co-starring as well as Juliana, Prospero's muse and a eager student of Satanic worship who likes to brand herself with an upside down cross.

Very well done horror classic and highly entertaining, with a great scene with a chap in an ape suit getting roasted alive as a punishment for terrorising a tiny dancer. :scared: 87 out of 100.

It returns!!

Elizabeth Harvest (Sebastian Gutierre)

Effectiveish chiller. New bride takes time to adjust to her new life. Worth looking at.



Possum (Matthew Holness)

See this. Like A Dark Song, it's flawed but a grimmer wee thing you won't find this year.


Attack Of The Tattie-bogle (2018)

Unremarkable slasher with silly title. Mate brought it round as he is obssessed by films called "Attack of ..... "

The Sword In The Stone 1963.

Out hunting young boy Arthur meets magician Merlin who thinks he is destined for something else than being a knight's squire.

This was a classic Disney film from start with the narratiin of the sword appearing in the stone to Merlin The Magnificient being clumsy and his faithful grumpy owl companion Archimedes who has a stupid laugh when Merlin tries to fly a plane. It does have good animation and good humour in it, still worth a watch even though its 55 years old. 8 out of 10.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles 1987.

Neal Paige is trying to get to Chicago from New York, along the way he meets Del Griffithca loudmouth shower ring salesman and a friendship forms slowly aswell as comedic disasters.

This was a great conedy drama from John Hughes combined with Steve Martin and John Candy as the hapless duo who start off bickering about a taxi, to plane delays and becoming friends. It does have its funny moments from slagging off a guy who runs a taxi service which Martin insults and regrets it, Candy thinking he has his hands between pillows and the F-word rant at the car rental. Worth a watch 8 out of 10.

Attachment 211378

BUMBLEBEE

Entertaining fun ride. Focuses more on story and emotions than action.
Great to see the original animation Autobots and Decepticons in a few scenes.
Story is set in the 80's so has a soundtrack to fit.
Yeah, it was good, but don't go expecting things blowing up every few seconds.

Decemberdike
 

December 22nd

Secret Santa (2018)

The usual scenario - a family Christmas Eve get together, gifts, arguments, military grade sodium pentothal, that kind of thing.

Secret Santa is an utterly bonkers film. Crammed with witty dialogue of the bitchy back biting variety, it's a depiction of the perfect, if that's the right word, dysfunctional family as from the half hour mark total mayhem kicks in. I laughed and cringed, often at the same time, and really enjoyed this gory and wickedly funny over the top thrill ride.

Not for the feint of heart.

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December 23rd

Better Watch Out (2016)

A 17 year old girl gets a job baby sitting a precocious 12-year-old boy.

That's really all i'm going to say plot wise. Better Watch Out is a well made, twisty turny, seasonal horror thriller with nods to a more famous seasonal film. Whilst at times infuriating with it's plot contrivances it's still a very enjoyable thriller, but, and this is a big but, now i know what happens i'm not sure it's one i'd return to despite it being a fairly gripping hour and a half's entertainment. Had it been that bit grittier it may well have proved a more satisfying experience.

Sex Tape.

Annie(Cameron Diaz) and Jay(jason segel) are a married couple with kids who decide to spice up their sex life after it has gone a bit flat by making a sex tape. but it ends up in the wrong hands after he forgets to delete it. and then they have to try to get back all the copies of the video before anybody sees it.

okay, i have to admit that this isn't the greatest comedy ever made but it is still worth a watch with some funny moments, even if some of the jokes are a bit lame and fall a bit flat.
And also the fact that it has Cameron Diaz in it, which is always a plus point in my book. and she still looks in pretty good nick for a woman in her 40's. ;)
Rob Lowe also has a bit part as well as cameron's boss who enjoys listening to Slayer, snorting coke, and has a drawer in his bedroom full of rather unusual items. :lol:

Not a bad effort and a fairly entertaining way to spend 1 hour and 30+ minutes when i fancy a bit of a change from rape and murder. :laugh:
67 out of 100.

Watched an enjoyable if unspectacular 90's action thriller with Morgan Freeman and Christian Slater called Hard Rain (1998) on IPlayer last night.

Nice special effects and action sequences, engaging enough story and decent performances make this a 7/10.

Tales from the Crypt
A group of people on a tour get lost and meet a mysterious stranger who tells each character a story of what will happen.
A classic horror anthology, the first tale especially felt appropriate for this time of year and with a cast including Peter Cushing and Patrick Magee. Favourite tale has to be Blind Alleys.
Recommended.

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I record films like this all the time and then watch them later at some point .
I watched vaults of horror yesterday which is equally as good .

Peppermint

Alias is Taken (wink).


I Love You, Daddy

Louis CK lifts Hollywood's skirt for all to see ....


The Canterbury Tales (1971)

Pasolini tackles Chaucer. Cocks a-plenty. Including a certain Timelord cough cough
....

Watching Jurassic park. The original and still the best ,the scene when we see the dinosaurs for the first time still gives me goosebumps as it did when I first saw it at the cinema.

Yeah, I saw this again on Blu a year or so back. I enjoyed it more than I did back in the day, though I'll refrain from guessing why that would be (cough modern cinema cough).
:xmascan::hohoho:

Decemberdike
 

Christmas Eve

The Old Dark House (1932)

The new Eureka print sourced from the Cohen Group looks lovely and finally allows one of the great horror films to be seen how it should be seen, in fact it wouldn't surprise me if the film looked better now in the 21st century world of Blu-ray / dvd / flat screen tvs than it ever did in 1930's cinemas.

As for the film itself, it's a real gem and the first proper 'old dark house' film, the film that started a horror and thriller sub genre and every way as important a film for Universal as Frankenstein and Dracula in embracing Gothic horror and setting the scene for decades to come.

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Christmas Day

Ghost Stories (2017)

A British horror anthology from Andy Nyman and Jeremy Dyson in the vein of the classic Amicus portmanteau horrors of the late sixties and early seventies. However that's where the similarity ends.

The movie poster and dvd cover scream out that, according to The Sun, it's "The Best British Horror Movie for Years".

Well it is - If you haven't seen any British horror movies for years!

Kingsmen:The Secret Service 2014.

A Spy organisation recruits young people to join their service, a troublemaker Eggsy is recruited to join as a businessman has his own agenda to control people and make them turn psychotic.

This was a great comedy action flick, Michael Caine plays the head of the organisation Arthur, Colin Firth as Galahad and Mark Strong as Merlin who does a brilliant Scottish accent. Samuel L Jackson is Valentine who can't stand the sight of blood but wants people to kill each other, there are some good fight scenes even one with a umbrella. Worth a watch 8 out of 10.

With going to see the sequel tomorrow decided to watch the original.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuWf9fP-A-U

Tell us what do you think of the sequel .

Decemberdike
 

Boxing Day

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)

Truly original period slasher film which can along with Psycho and one or two others can claim to be at the forefront of the hack n' slash genre and spawned countless imitators - Friday the 13th Part II - i'm definitely looking at you here.

It's a film that at times feels like a western, no doubt aided by the presence of western genre star Ben Johnson but it also has atmosphere in spades and reminds of The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972) which is no surprise seeing as it's from the same director in Charles B. Pierce and the same fella doing a voice over throughout (Vern Stierman) which gives the film it's highly original feel. It only loses marks due to several comedic sequences dotted throughout which take you out of the 'zone' so to speak.

Despite it being a very good film with some genuine creepiness and one or two fine murder set pieces i think it's 2014 sequel cum remake is actually better.

The Eureka dual format release is highly recommended.

Surprised you didn't like Ghost Stories more Dem.

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Aquaman

Good DC film. Who would have thought?

After the utter garbage fire that was Batman V superman, Suicide squad, a film that mystically gets worse each time you see it with no apparent rock-bottom and Wonder woman which was great for two thirds of its run time then shat the bed spectacularly with its final act I had almost given up on DC... Then this happened.

So whats changed?

Well they hired James Wan who actually seems to know how to string together a coherent narrative. He recognises what sort of film he's being asked to make and embraces it. One of the big problems DC had was Zach Snyder. An impressive visual stylist he should really stick with music videos because as a director of feature length motion pictures he's worthless. The attempt to shoe-horn in the philosophy of Ayn Rand didn't help. The films that followed were lumbered with trying to fit into his 'vison'.

Wan seems to have decided 'f*** that' and abandoned the Snyderisms that mistake teen angst for depth and goes full 'flash gordon' embracing the general silliness of the concept and focusing on telling a decent story with entertaining action beats. Nice to see Dolph Lundgren getting a big role here as well. Given we just saw the best performance he has ever given in Creed 2 he's having a good year. Extra credits to Patrick Wilson as the villain who seems to be channelling Julian Sands.

The film seems to be a big success. DC should pay Wan mega bucks to come on board and tell Snyder not to bother coming back to work. He can sod off and make his Atlas Shrugged dream project. If DC makes more films like this Marvel might have some competition.

Spiderman into the spider-verse

Best spiderman film.

This has new Spidey miles morales teaming up with various other incarnations of spiderman from other universes. Highlights including Nicholas Cage having a ball as Spider noir, a pulp detective spidey. Also kudos for including spider-ham. The film has a witty script, genuinely funny when it needs to be and genuinely tragic in places as well. The animation is stunning, some of the best I've seen recently. It actually pays off to see this on a huge screen.

Talk about aquaman I saw this pic other day that tickled me .

Just saw that myself. Fantastic! :hohoho:

Saw creed II last night really enjoyed it , we tried to go pic nearly every week at one point but we haven't been for ages , There was nothing else on that we fancied neither of us like Will Ferrell so Holmes and Watson was out the Q? Apparently it that bad lots of people have been saying they walked out and wanted their money back , and before it got general released it got panned that much they tried to palm it off to Netflix and they refused it .

Creed 2 was ace. As I said above, Dolph Lundgrens best performance. Takes a two-dimensional villain from a prior Rocky film and adds loads of Depth and genuine pathos.

Lady Stay dead.

A creepy bearded gardener has an obsession with a famous singer, even going to bed with a sex doll in her image. :lol: and gets a job as her gardener so he can spy on her. which eventually ends up raping her in her home and drowning her in the fish tank. afterwards her sister jenny turns up and ends up fighting for her life.

I have to say that i quite enjoyed this aussie psycho thriller. Yes it is a little cheesy, but it is never boring and has a mean spirit that is sadly lacking in today's films.
And Chard Hayward gives a pretty good performance too as Gordan the insane gardener who loses the plot Maniac style, even shooting the neighbour's dog.

well worth a watch, nice locations, and with a interesting cat and mouse finale. 71 out of 100.

Went to see a couple of films today at the cinema.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg52up16eq0

as already been mentioned by far the best Spiderman film by a longway also the animation is absolutely stunning and the film is pretty dark in places and it's not full of angst like the other films also lots a little nods and Easter eggs and a great one making fun of that awful dance from 3, also we had a wonderful cameo from the late great Stan Lee. 10/10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3jsfXDZLIY

While not up there with the first it's a highly enjoyable family movie with what is probably a better story than the first, a few of the songs are duds and none of the match the likes of spoon full of sugar , feed the birds and let's go fly a kite. But some great dance routines and one with the lamp lighters that must of the took a lot of work. The animation keeps in the style of the original, Emily Blunt while no Julie Andrews does a excellent job. The actor playing Jack the lamp lighter seemed a poor actor and singer to me. But checking on IMDB he is supposed of won awards for acting and singing. A nice and uplifting film . 8/10

Both sound good, Treb. :xmasjig:

I watched another animation the other evening - Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay - that was also very good and recommended if you enjoy the animated films, but it isn't a child friendly affair.

How come this Spiderman film has had a cinema release?

The spidey film is from a lot of the people involved in the Lego movie. Had quite a bit of money chucked at it. It shows as well. It's actually quite breathtaking on the big screen.

Humongous

A group of kids get shipwrecked on a remote Canadian Island. They soon discover they are not alone. A deformed man beast haunts the island and begins killing off the teens one by one. Directed by Paul Lynch the director of Prom night this one does nothing new but does it well. Its got lots of atmosphere to it and actually manages to deliver suspense. I've enjoyed this since picking up the Avco Embassy pre-cert many years back. The new blu-ray looks solid and has the choice of R-rated and unrated.

Rollercoaster

An entertaining thriller that has one foot in the disaster flick when a psycho begins derailing Rollercoaster's and demanding money from the Amusement park owners. A safety inspector begins hunting him down and a cat and mouse game between the pair ensues. Solid thriller with some genuinely great disaster scenes and some great performances including Timothy Bottoms as the villain, George Segal as the safety inspector and Richard Widmark as an FBI agent. Worth checking out.

Yeah, I enjoyed Rollercoaster when I saw it a couple of years back. :xmastree:

Mary Poppins Returns

Set 25 years after the events in Mary Poppins (1964), this is centred around the same house in Robert Stevenson's family favourite and follows the two younger members of the Banks family. Michael, a recently widowed man with three young children, lives close to his sister Jane and both take after their parents, with Jane a social activist and Michael working as a clerk at Fidelity Fiduciary Bank. To cover expenses in the year since his wife died, Michael took a loan out and it is now time to pay up or forfeit the house. Coupled with his grief, this is having an impact on his temper and relationship with his children so maybe a little magical help is required…

The film more or less follows the same formula as the 1964 film, with a family in some disarray and the titular nanny making a surprise appearance which has a transformative effect on everyone around her. There are visits to strange places in London, partly through getting to know someone from the working class, in this case a lamplighter and former apprentice of Bert, and being transported to weird and wonderful words, one of which is animated.

As befitting a film directed by Rob Marshall (Chicago, Nine), the musical numbers are really well integrated into the narrative and look and sound fantastic. In a similar way to Dick van Dyke, Lin-Manuel Miranda (as Jack the lamplighter) really impresses with his vocal delivery and dancing, but the real surprise for me was Emily Blunt holding her own in a role which Julie Andrews (an accomplished and decorated West End and Broadway musical performer at the time) made iconic and won an Academy Award.

What I find very difficult is drawing any comparison between the two Mary Poppins films. The first is nearly 55 years old, I've seen it many times, listened to the songs in isolation as they were on the record we had when I was younger, so it's no surprise the musical numbers and songs in this film are not (yet) as memorable. Whether it will take five decades to really be able to tell whether it is something special or not remains to be seen, but I enjoyed it very much and would happily watch it at the cinema again.

Think I will see it again at some point , it must just be me as I didn't rate Lin-Manuel Mirand as a good actor or singer, but did great dance scenes

It's quite funny to see him in a film like this – something which is really his forte – when, discounting his voice appearance in BoJack Horseman, I don't think I've seen him in anything since his two episode stint as Alvie in House when I re-watched the series a couple of years ago!