HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME - From the golden years of slasher harks 'Happy Birthday To Me', infamous for its sish kebab skewering and iconic climax. Ginny wants to get in with the in-crowd at her college, but this proves increasingly difficult when a black-gloved killer starts offing her rich new friends. To make matters worse, memories of her mangled past crop up and only sleazy therapist Glenn Ford can truly relate. But hey, things are not so bad... her birthday is just around the corner... 'Happy Birthday To Me' is a strange film in many ways, being a polished mainstream variant of the original slasher blueprint - but its surface gloss belies an awkward schlockiness which makes it all the more endearing in my eyes. It ultimately takes form as a runny, badly concocted stew of plot contortions, jarring flashback scenes (heralded by the lead character's face glowing red as she slips back into a past full of experimental brain surgery and other trauma), random spurts of weirdness and awful musical cues. Speaking of the latter, I watched the 2004 Columbia Region 1 which features an alternative soundtrack to the theatrical release. I have to say that this version's shitty new wave disco fits to tone of the movie better than creepy strings, although many would disagree. Staying with the question of differing versions, I need to add that it's a shame that no-one has seen fit to release an uncut version on DVD, although what blood there is here still satisfies. Anyway, a slasher film it may be in essence, but the mild bonkersness of HBTM lifts it up a level and makes it a bit special IMO. It's a technically accomplished film dominated by its 'bad' aspects, most of which do it for me, but in some important respects I find myself critical - it's too long, and whilst its frequent meandering is part of its charm, it also grates a bit. Still, I's rather be stuck in an elevator (or a bell tower) with this than more blandly proficient stuff from the era ie. 'The Prowler', The Burning' etc. |
Murphy's law Jack Murphy (Charles Bronson ) is set up for the murder of his stripper ex wife by a demented woman that he sent away. He escapes police custody with a young foul mouthed thief( Kathleen Wilhoite) and sets out to clear his name this soon becomes a matter of revenge when a ex partner is also killed. Jack also has to contend with a mobster who is after him for the killing of his brother. Like most of Bronson films it's very enjoyable thanks to his performance and both stars work well together and added greatly to the enjoyment of the film. 8/10 phantasm A true classic. A truly unique and chilling atmospheric films, being my favourite of the franchise and being another of my favourite horrors. It wouldn't be half the film it is if it wasn't for the fantastic score and great characters. 10/10 Now watching first power followed by messiah of evil(not seen) Edit Now watching messiah of evil, I hope it's better than the awful opening song ! |
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UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: DAY OF RECKONING. Bonkers entry into the series that has little to do with the other films and comes across as a boring mess inter cut with scenes of excessive violence and gore. Worth watching for the final fight scene which has JCVD, who for some reason that escapes me has the top of his head painted white and the bottom half black. Perhaps it would have made more sense if I'd have had the sound on rather than listen to music whilst watching it. |
1 Attachment(s) Triggermen (2002) Absolutely appalling comedy thriller about two conmen who switch places with a couple of hired killers. Starring Neil Morrissey, Donnie Wahlberg, Pete Postlethwaite, Amanda Plummer, Claire Forlani and Adrian Dunbar, the film should have had both the acting and comedy talents to pull it off yet it just descends into an unfunny mess of turned tables and double cross. What's worse is that Morrissey and Dunbar just wander round bitching about the same thing from scene to scene. Poorly scripted, this film is just plain terrible. |
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FAUST: LOVE OF THE DAMNED - Brian Yuzna's adaption of a comic book I know nothing about. It starts out as mediocre, but thankfully soon regresses to complete idiocy. Not even Yuzna's typically flat, workmanlike direction can stem the tide of utter ridiculousness crashing here on the shores of viable cinema. Recounting the plot is a bit pointless, but it's basically about a guy who sells his soul to the devil (as in, er, 'Faust'), then becomes a sub-Wolverine type anti-hero with wavering hand-prong attack devices (for those not into Goethe, this wasn't a feature of the original). A load of gore, sleaze and bad taste moments happen. Ah, bad taste moments... there are a few. Seriously, not even Brian Yuzna could mess up on a subplot concerning the female lead's childhood recollections of the highly inappropriate advances of a slime zombie. Also, ever wanted to see a naked Jeff Combs being forced to swallow a snake? It's all yours, if you want it. Yuzna has made a couple of goodish films, some average ones and a few pretty bad ones, but 'Faust' is simultaneously his zenith and his nadir. Genius, really. This stupid film would grow on me even more if I could be arsed to ever watch it again. |
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