Originally Posted by Frankie Teardrop  AUTOPSY – A few points lift this giallo above the usual procedural-mode dullness. Its strangely grim atmosphere, aided by a lot of cadaver imagery that seems to pop up at the slightest opportunity, is warped even further by semi-psychedelic references to solar flares and their role in a wave of apparent suicides. I wanted all that stuff to be taken further, but it wasn’t long before ‘Autopsy’ showed its hand as a staunch murder mystery (albeit one in which errant priests turn out to be burned-out formula one drivers and don’t have any scruples about slapping people around). Another plus is that it’s relatively fast-paced considering its run-time, and throws in quite a bit of sleaze.
SCREAM – Sometimes a bad dream will wake me, and I’ll lie staring at my ceiling into the early hours, the relentless boredom eventually becoming oddly trance-like… sentient beings watching ‘Scream’ will probably end up feeling something similar. It’s about a bunch of hikers who end up stranded in a deserted town, only to be bloodlessly hacked by a slasher / supernatural entity (it’s never quite clear which). Despite the fact that nothing much happens in it, I found it weirdly engrossing. The eerie long takes of objects and wallpaper, the constant misty atmosphere (the makers had obviously seen ‘The Fog’), the random incidents involving guys on bikes, the wonky score, all of these add edge to the aimlessness and make downtime hypnotic. It’s not as over-the-top as something like ‘Hellgate’, but it’s about as senseless. I have a feeling that most will think it’s quite rubbish, but ‘Scream’ pushes my buttons… I don’t know about yours. If you like ‘huh?’-inducing, slightly lame horror movies from the late seventies / early eighties such as, I dunno, ‘The Forest’ or similar, you might give it a chance.
CHAMPAGNE AND BULLETS – Definitely belongs somewhere on a special list, one that incorporates the likes of ‘Samurai Cop’, ‘White Fire’, ‘The Miami Connection’ etc etc – in other words, it’s an attempt at an action flick that has gone wrong in the most sublime way possible. That ‘Champagne and Bullets’ is a vanity movie conceived by the gargantuan ego of one ‘John De Hart’ – he writes, he directs, he stars – almost demands it a list unto itself. The potency of its badness is patent in the screwy tonal shifts (we go from amiable buddy hijinks to scenes of occult child sacrifice in the blink of a befuddled eye, dismal sex scenes drown in atonal acoustic jangling, hilarious karaoke gives way to awful rape etc etc) and the absurdity of its plot is amply encapsulated by the identity of its villain, who manages to be a disliked cop colleague, a corrupt judge, a crazed cult leader and a cartel drug lord whenever the occasion demands… yeah, it’s wacky. Well, when Wings Hauser is your movie’s most sensible proposition, you’re f?cked. Musical numbers predominate. In a bar scene, John De Hart sings his theme tune, backed by ‘local talent’. Watch the band behind him on stage. They’re p*ssing themselves. Heart-breaking, but so will you. |