I can't remember much about it, it's been years. But I seem to recall The Enfield Haunting being good.

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Federal Protection (2002)

An enjoyable crime thriller with oodles of black comedy in which Armand Assante plays a car thief for the mob in federal protection in the suburbs when he becomes friends with super cute neighbour Angela Featherstone. Assante's secret identity is soon out of the bag when Featherstone's sister (Dina Meyer) who is having an affair with Featherstone's husband decides to shop him in so she can pick up the million dollar reward from the mob.

An easy to watch film from Hellraiser III director Anthony Hickox. It's not as convoluted as i've probably made it sound. Characters and acting are good and it goes at a fair rate of knots. There are one or two great set pieces and some bloody kills performed with some flair and it's worth the price of admission alone to see Meyer donned out in fetish wear kill a mob hitman (Also Hickox) by sticking the heel of her kinky boot through his forehead.

I think I did jump more at this than I did with The Conjuring 2 :lol:

It might have been me that recommended it, especially over that murican nonsense :nod::pop2:

I digress.


Dark Horse (2011, Todd Solondoz)

Finally got my hands on this one. Somewhat less bombastic than some of his others, this still packs a punch. Am overgrown manchild thinks he's found the answer to his problems. Sounds thrilling? Whatever. He retreats into a fantasy during moments of stress, which is great cinema, but on a personal level he is spiralling out of control. It's not Bergman, but the demon did have something in his eye at the end ahem.



The Devastator (1986, Cirio H. Santiago)

An assured outing from the Fillipino San Firstenberg. When his mate is killed by unscrupulous drug dealers, what's a man to do but shoot lots of henchmen?? Some interesting locations lift this from the second tier mire. Otherwise tis business as usual.

The Wretched (2019)

A lad in his late teens goes to live with his father and work in the local marina. He slowly experiences weird phenomena as he comes to realise a witch is inhabiting the skin of his next door neighbour.

An interesting premise which mixes witchcraft and folk horror with modern day life but it's clumsily executed. There's way too much family drama and teen angst, in fact it's more like a high school movie than a horror for the bulk of it's running time. The characters are decently sketched and John-Paul Howard is a likable enough lead but for an hour you could easily forget what type of film you were watching.

When it does go full blown horror it's quietly effective. There are some fine creepy moments and fun practical special effects such as the witch climbing out of the neighbour's body, but the horror then feels a bit rushed compared to the languid pace of the first hour. My main grumble is the film lacked any sort of tension or a sense of dread. Had it done so then i'd have scored this quite highly rather than just simply average, but i did find it much more engaging than the majority of recent supernatural horror films.

MICROWAVE MASSACRE – Looking back, some films must just seem like such awful mistakes. This one’s so awful it’s almost scarring to watch. MM is an utterly confusing mixture of mild sleaze, abysmal gags and bad, bad décor. It’s about a schmuck who’s so fed up with his stagnant marriage he takes the only option left to him – cannibalism, apparently. Absolutely nothing about it works, from the mannequin gore to the stillborn humour. There’s so little understanding of the human psyche on display that you’d be forgiven for wondering whether some kind of primitive AI was involved, only this was made in 1983, the product of flesh without brains attempting to simulate comedy and coming up with stilted weirdness. Before you roll your eyes and moan “I bet now he’s going to say ‘and that makes it so off-kilter it’s just f@cking amazing’” – well, no, but it is kind of mesmerising. I’d rather watch a film where someone randomly decides to do some gardening with a dildo than whatever ends up as “passable for Netflix” these days. Very strange to see Jackie Vernon in it

Got to be honest. This didn't stay in my Blu-ray collection for very long. :lol:

If we're being honest, I have to admit that I thought about buying said blu after I streamed. I still haven't fully committed to the sane option.

I wouldn't worry. I think you're insane anyway.

In that off-kilter, mesmerising, f@cking amazing way of yours. :lol:

True, just the fact that I made it to the end of 'Microwave Massacre' probably tells you all you need to know about my mental state...