Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes

The Zygon Inversion

The Doctor: Any questions?
Osgood: Why do you have a Union Jack parachute?
The Doctor: Er, camouflage.
Osgood: Camouflage?
The Doctor: Yes, we're in Britain

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The Doctor: You know I'm over two thousand years old? I'm old enough to be your Messiah.

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The Doctor: London! What a dump.
Osgood: London's okay.
The Doctor: No, it's not, it's a dump.
Osgood: You spend an awful lot of time here, considering it's a dump.
The Doctor: I spend an awful lot of time being kidnapped, tortured, shot at and exterminated. Doesn't mean I like it.

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The Doctor: You just want cruelty to beget cruelty. You're not superior to people who were cruel to you. you're just a whole bunch of new cruel people. A whole bunch of new cruel people being cruel to some other people, who'll end up being cruel to you. The only way anyone can live in peace is if they're prepared to forgive. Why don't you break the cycle?
Zygon Clara: Why should we?

*********************************************

(The Zygons advance on the Doctor and Osgood. Kate shoots them in the back of their heads.)
Kate: Sorry, Doctor. Self-defence.
The Doctor: You're you.
Kate: I'm me.
The Doctor: How did you survive?
(Kate recalls the moment that Norlander transformed. She raised her gun and blam! blam! blam! blam! blam!)
Kate: Five rounds rapid. (Angry Zygon Clara throws the mobile phone at the wall.) I'm sorry, Doctor. I know you don't approve.
The Doctor: Why does peacekeeping always involve killing?

********************************************

Zygon Clara: Why are you doing this?
Kate: Yes, I'd quite like to know that, too. You set this up. Why?
The Doctor: Because it's not a game, Kate. This is a scale model of war. Every war ever fought, right there in front of you. Because it's always the same. When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die! You don't know whose children are going to scream and burn! How many hearts will be broken! How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill until everybody does until what they were always going to have to do from the very beginning. Sit down and talk! (sigh) Listen to me. Listen, I just, I just want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It's just a fancy word for changing your mind.
Zygon Clara: I will not change my mind.
The Doctor: Then you will die stupid. Alternatively, you could step away from that box, you can walk right out of that door and you could stand your revolution down.
Zygon Clara: No! I'm not stopping this, Doctor. I started it. I will not stop it. You think they'll let me go, after what I've done?
The Doctor: You're all the same, you screaming kids. You know that? Look at me, I'm unforgivable. Well, here's the unforeseeable. I forgive you. After all you've done, I forgive you.
Zygon Clara: You don't understand. You will never understand.
The Doctor: I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war? This funny little thing? This is not a war! I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know. I did worse things than you could ever imagine. And when I close my eye, I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count! And do you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight till it burns your hand, and you say this. No one else will ever have to live like this. No one else will have to feel this pain. Not on my watch!

********************************************

Osgood: The Tardis.
The Doctor: The Tardis.
Osgood: What does it stand for?
The Doctor: What? You're kidding me? Surely you know that?
Osgood: Well, I've heard a couple of different versions.
The Doctor: I made it up from the initials. It stands for*Totally And Radically Driving In Space. Do you want to come? All of the future, all of history, and all of the universe?
Osgood: More than anything. But I think I have to stay. I've got a couple of boxes to keep an eye on. And a world to keep safe.

Image of the Day # 234
 

Two Zygons take Clara's pod into the Black Archive in the two part story The Zygon Invasion / The Zygon Inversion (2015)

The Daily Express - March 13th, 1965

Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes

Sleep No More

Clara: Looks like a Japanese restaurant. Oh! Have you brought me to a space restaurant?
The Doctor [OC]: People never do that, you know?
Clara: Do what?
The Doctor: They never put the word space in front of something just because everything's all sort of hi-tech and future-y. It's never space restaurant or space champagne or space, you know, hat. It's just restaurant, champagne or hat. (The soldiers follow them as they walk.) Even if this was a restaurant
Clara: What about spacesuit?
The Doctor: Pedant.

*******************************************

The Doctor: We're here to, er.
Clara: We're here to assess stress.
The Doctor: Stress.
Nagata: So, what happened?
The Doctor: From the beginning of time? That's a very long story.
Clara: (sotto) Doctor.
The Doctor: Well. Well, we just arrived, you know, and there was nobody about. What are you doing here?
(Nagata lowers her rifle.)
Nagata: Twenty four hours ago, this station fell silent. No comm signal. Nothing. Dead. We've come to find out why.
The Doctor: Theories?
Nagata: Could be anything. Meteorite strike. Space pirates.
Clara: Ah, see? Not just pirates, space pirates.

******************************************

Clara: We still don't know where we are.
The Doctor: Indo-Japanese. (He wets his finger and holds it behind his right ear. We are apparently watching from a wall screen.) Thirty eighth century. (tastes his finger again.) Tuesday.
Clara: Thirty eighth century?
The Doctor: Hmm. After the Great Catastrophe, there was a tectonic realignment. India and Japan, they were sort of merged.
Clara: We still don't know where the rest of the crew are, though. I mean, a place this size? Hey, what? Great Catastrophe? What Great Catastrophe?
The Doctor: Well, you've got all that to look forward to, haven't you?

*******************************************

Clara: Where's the crew?
The Doctor: Digested.

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The Doctor: Sleep is vital. Sleep is wonderful. Even I sleep.
Clara: When?
The Doctor: Well, when you're not looking.

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Chopra: No! It's the gravity shields! They're failing!
(Neptune is getting closer through the window.)
The Doctor: Nagata! That thing, the schematic. Give it to me!
Nagata: Who the hell do you think you are?
The Doctor: Me? I'm in charge.
Nagata: You have no authority
The Doctor: No, but I'm in charge

Image of the Day # 235
 

A Dalek as seen in Journey into Terror, episode 4 of The Chase (1965)

Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes

Face The Raven

(Clara runs through the door, followed by the Doctor, who closes it on the bright yellow light outside.)
Clara: I told you it'd work!
The Doctor: It very nearly ate you for dinner.
Clara: Oh, admit it. I totally saved your life.
The Doctor: It wasn't going to eat me.
Clara: (laughs) I totally saved you from having to marry that giant sentient plant thing. That bit when I jumped over the side? That was amazing. (The Doctor snorts and grins.) Ha! I knew you were impressed.
The Doctor: The second most beautiful garden in all of time and space, and we can never come back here because you, Miss Oswald, decided...
(The Tardis console phone rings. They stare at it, then the Doctor gestures for Clara to answer it.)
Clara: Hello?
Rigsy [OC]: Clara? Finally. It's Rigsy.
Clara: Oh. Rigsy. Hey. What's wrong?

*********************************************

The Doctor:(looking at Rigsy's baby daughter ) Did you make this human?
Rigsy: Lucy? Yeah, she's mine.

*********************************************

The Doctor: Your pre-frontal cortex is marinating in it. Ooo, there's something else. Something. Er, not good. Weird.
(The Doctor walks around the console and picks up his cue cards. The top one reads I Could Be Wrong. Lets Try It Your Way. He goes to the next card. Clara stares at him.)
Rigsy: What's he doing?
Clara: He's making an effort to be nice.
The Doctor: There is no nice way to say you're about to die.

*********************************************

(A familiar woman enters, hair up in large curls 1940s style, and escorted by two police officers.)
Ashildr: Of course he does, now that you've told him.
(Rump and Kabel bow.)
Rump: Mayor Me.
Clara: Ashildr.
Ashildr: Ashildr?
The Doctor: That's your name. I keep telling you that.
Ashildr: Do you? Infinite lifespan, finite memory. It makes for an awkward social life. You must be Clara Oswald. You're as beautiful as your photos.
Clara: We met.
Ashildr: Yes, I know. It's in my diaries. Oh, don't look like that. I enjoyed our conversations. I've read them many times.
Clara: Okay, that's slightly odd, but nice. Er, hang on, so this is where you've been. That's why he lost track of you.

*********************************************

Clara: Okay, we split up. Cover more ground. I'm good cop, you're bad cop.
The Doctor: No, no, no, we don't have. Can I not be the good cop?
Clara: Doctor, we've discussed this. Your face.

*********************************************

Ashildr: Rigsy, your neck.
Rigsy: Clara, what are you playing at? The chronolock!
Clara: Take the teleport off him first.
(Ashildr reaches for Rigsy's neck.)
Rigsy: I don't have it, I'm telling you. Clara does.
(Clara shows Ashildr the back of her neck.)
Ashildr: No. No, you didn't.
[Countdown] (008.)
Clara: Go on, then. Take it off.
The Doctor: Clara, you didn't!
(The Doctor turns Clara around and stares at the numbers in horror.)
Ashildr: I had no idea she'd do something so stupid. I swear, I never meant for anyone to get hurt. Look, what were you thinking? Sacrificing yourself?
Clara: I wasn't sacrificing anything. It was strategy. Backup plan, to buy us more time.
The Doctor: Who told you to give it to her?
Clara: Nobody did. I did. Rump said
The Doctor: What exactly did Rump say?
Clara: He said the death is locked in. You can pass it on, but you
(Clara realises her folly.)
The Doctor: But what?
Clara: But
Ashildr: But you can't cheat it altogether.

******************************************

Clara: You. Now, you listen to me. You're going to be alone now, and you're very bad at that. You're going to be furious and you're going to be sad, but listen to me. Don't let this change you. No, listen. Whatever happens next, wherever she is sending you, I know what you're capable of. You don't be a Warrior. Promise me. Be a Doctor.
The Doctor: What's the point of being a Doctor if I can't cure you?
Clara: Heal yourself. You have to. You can't let this turn you into a monster. So, I'm not asking you for a promise, I'm giving you an order. You will not insult my memory. There will be no revenge. I will die, and no one else, here or anywhere, will suffer.
The Doctor: What about me?
Clara: If there was something I could do about that, I would. I guess we're both just going to have to be brave.
The Doctor: Clara.
(They hug.)
Clara: Everything you are about to say, I already know. Don't do it now. We've already had enough bad timing.
(The Raven caws close by.)
The Doctor: Don't run. Stay with me.
Clara: Nah. You stay here. In the end, everybody does this alone.
The Doctor: Clara
Clara: This is as brave as I know how to be. I know it's going to hurt you, but, please, be a little proud of me. (She touches his cheek. He takes her hand and kisses it.) Goodbye, Doctor. (The Raven caws. Clara steps out into the deserted street. The Raven lands on a nearby stall and caws. She walks towards it as other passers-by run away. The Doctor steps out of the doorway.) (sotto) Let me be brave. Let me be brave. (The Raven launches itself from its perch. Clara opens her arms wide and it flies into her stomach. She opens her mouth wide in a silent scream - or at least one completely drowned out by the music - then relaxes and the Quantum Shade smoke comes out of her mouth as she falls to the ground.)

********************************************

Ashildr: I'm sorry, Doctor. I truly am.
(Ashildr steps up to the stasis chamber control panel and makes it beep, then steps away again.)
The Doctor: What Clara said about not taking revenge. Do you know why she said that?
Ashildr: She was saving you.
The Doctor: I was lost a long time ago. She was saving you. I'll do my best, but I strongly advise you to keep out of my way. You'll find that it's a very small universe when I'm angry with you.

A promotional piece for Carole Anne Ford's first post 'Doctor Who' appearance in 'Public Eye'. From the Daily Mirror, dated March 13th, 1965


If you cannot read the text, it says:

"IT'S surprising what a change of T V channels can do for a girl. Actress Carole Ann Ford, 23, who played the part of schoolgirl Susan in BBC's "Dr. Who," returns to T V next month looking like this. After her adventures with the Daleks in the Space serial Carole has landed a very down-to-earth part in the first of a new ABC series "Public Eye."

"It's a marvellous role for an actress," says Carole. "I play the part of a call girl.""

Image of the Day # 236
 

Kate O'Mara as the Rani, Sylvester McCoy as the Doctor and Bonnie Langford as Mel in a publicity photo for Time and the Rani (1987)

Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes

Heaven Sent

The Doctor: Oh, what's this? Well, are you gardeners? I hate gardening! What sort of a person has a power complex about flowers? It's dictatorship for inadequates.

*************************************************

The Doctor: Sorry I'm late. Jumped out of a window. Certain death. Don't you want to know how I survived? Go on. Ask me! No, of course I had to jump! The first rule of being interrogated is that you are the only irreplaceable person in the torture chamber. The room is yours, so work it. If they're going to threaten you with death, show them who's boss. Die faster. And you've seen me do that more often than most. Rule one of dying, don't. Rule two, slow down.

************************************************** *

The Doctor: You've got the rest of your life. The faster you think, the slower it will pass. Concentrate. Assume you're going to survive. Always assume that. Imagine you've already survived. There's a storm room in your mind. Lock the door and think. This is my storm room. I always imagine that I'm back in my Tardis, showing off, telling you how I escaped, making you laugh. That's what I'm doing right now. I am falling, Clara. I'm dying. And I am going to explain to you how I survived. I can't wait to hear what I say. I'm nothing without an audience. One hope. Salt.

************************************************** **

The Doctor: I didn't leave Gallifrey because I was bored! That was a lie! It's always been a lie! Not enough? You want more? I was scared! I ran because I was scared! Is that what you want me to say? Is that true enough for you?

*************************************************

The Doctor [OC]: There are two events in everybody's life that nobody remembers. Two moments experienced by every living thing, yet no one remembers anything about them. Nobody remembers being born and nobody remembers dying.

*************************************************

The Doctor: People always get it wrong with Time Lords. We take forever to die. Even if we're too injured to regenerate, every cell in our bodies keeps trying. Dying properly can take days. That's why we like to die among our own kind. They know not to bury us early.

**********************************************

The Doctor: If I didn't know better, I'd say I've travelled seven thousand years into the future. (Yorick falls into the sea, the Doctor opens the door to room 12 and punches a few more molecules off the Azbantium wall.) Aah! How many seconds in eternity? (He crawls back to the teleport to do it all again.) [tower]: If I didn't know better, I'd say I've travelled twelve thousand years into the future. [room 12]: How many seconds in eternity? And the shepherd's boy Argh! (And again.) [tower]: Six hundred thousand years into the future. [room 12]: Argh! How many seconds in eternity? And the shepherd's boy says Argh! (Digging again, dropping the spoon in the soup.) [tower]: Twelve hundred thousand years into the future. [room 12]: Argh! And the shepherd's boy says Argh! [tower]: Two million years into the future. [room 12]: And the shepherd's boy says (And again, and again, and again, getting dizzy with the flashing excerpts...) [tower]: Twenty million years into the future. [room 12]: Ow! And the shepherd's boy says, there's this mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it, and an hour to go around it! (Even faster flashes of scenes.) [tower]: 52 million years. [room 12]: Every hundred years, a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. (Faster still.) [tower]: Nearly a billion years. [room 12]: Argh! And when the entire mountain is chiselled away, the first second of eternity will have passed! (Faster still.) [tower]: Well over a billion years. [room 12]: Argh! You must think that's a hell of a long time, (More and more.) [tower]: Two billion years. [room 12]: Personally, I think that's a hell of a (Again.)

**********************************************

(The Doctor walks out of the portal created by the hole in the Azbantium onto a dry planet with a golden sky. The portal closes and a small round metal object falls to the ground. The Doctor picks up a miniature of the castle surrounded by blue water. Brass cogwheels fill the space and then an engraved cover closes over it. It is his confession dial. A small boy runs up to him.)
The Doctor: Go to the city. Find somebody important. Tell them I'm back. Tell them, I know what they did, and I'm on my way. And if they ask you who I am, tell them I came the long way round. (The boy runs off towards a tall metallic city with a towering Citadel at its heart. The Doctor speaks to his confession dial.) You can probably still hear me, so just between ourselves, you've got the prophecy wrong. The Hybrid is not half Dalek. Nothing is half Dalek. The Daleks would never allow that. The Hybrid destined to conquer Gallifrey and stand in its ruins (The Doctor dons his sonic sunglasses.) Is me.

Image of the Day # 237
 

It seems appropriate on a very cold day like today so here's another delightful still from Thin Ice (2017) as the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) and Bill (Pearl Mackie) wrap up warm as they visit London's last great Frost Fair on the Thames in 1814.