Weekly Comp - I Spit On Your Grave Double Feature - 06/02/2011 - FINISHED

[BioZombie]

Street Trash in 3D and Smell-O-Vision.

Directed By: Mc G

Mc G has decided hes going to get the jump on everyone by introducing the next fad to get people to come to cinemas: Smell-O-Vision. In his reimaging (shudder!) of Street Trash not only will the hobos lurch out of the screen out at you, but you'll also be able to smell them in all of their filth encrusted glory.

Of course being a McG film it will have to be 12A so that means all of the adult stuff is out. No melting hobos, no penis throwing and no viper, 'cause they're not allowed to encourage drinking alchaol.

Starring: Cameron Diaz as that dirty hobo woman whos alywas scrabbling about on the floor, Zach Galifianakis as Broson and Johnny Depp as Burt.

[Inspector Tanzi]

Hahaha! It's funny that you put McG as I originally put him as the director on my one but changed it before I submitted the post but thought I would make it even shitter with Brand directing it too

[BioZombie]

Stunt Rock

Quentin Tarantino remakes the Brian Trenchard Smith classic with Zoe Bell, instead of Grant Page, as a New Zeland stunt woman who comes to america to visit her broter who's in a band.

As he is into retro stuff Quentin has forced the band Sorcery to re-form and put on their magical/music act.

The film has loads of stunts and rock and stuff....

[iluvdvds@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by BioZombie

Stunt Rock

Quentin Tarantino remakes the Brian Trenchard Smith classic with Zoe Bell, instead of Grant Page, as a New Zeland stunt woman who comes to america to visit her broter who's in a band.

As he is into retro stuff Quentin has forced the band Sorcery to re-form and put on their magical/music act.

The film has loads of stunts and rock and stuff....

I LUV THAT FILM! One of my all time favs, ever! I would be worried that Tarantino would ruin it by adding dialogue and...a plot. Sorcery rock

[darthelvis]

The one thing I dread more than any other and hopefully will never happen but this would have to be the worse remake idea ever!

Star Wars: A New Hope - The Musical
"A long time ago, in a Fabulous galaxy far far away"
Directed by Brett Ratner

Luke Skywalker - Justin Bieber
Princess Leia - Christina Agulliera
Han Solo - Justin Timberlake
Obi Wan - Nick Nolte (In full on hobo look)
Darth Vader - Dusty Bin
Chewbacca - Robin Williams
Grand Moff Tarkin - George W Bush

Featuring the songs: Don't cry for me Alderan, Jedi Academy Drop Out, Tattoine Nights, Can you feel the force, Who will buy my 2nd hand speeder? and the Imperial Stormtrooper tap dance spectacular - In the Empire.

[kingofwitches666]

Witchfinder General

Directed by: Kevin Costner

Starring:

Kevin Costner as Matthew Hopkins
Keanu Reeves as Richard Marshall
Renee Zellweger as Sara Lowes

The year is 1645, England is in the throws of civil war. Upon his return to Brandeston, self appointed Witchfinder, Matthew Hopkins (Costner) must muster all his strength & resolve to thwart the schemings of the evil Richard Marshall (Reeves) & claim the hand of his one true love, Sara Lowes (Zellweger).

Along with his faithful assistant John Stearne (Hayden Christensen, in a career defining performance) Hopkins will step into the very gates of hell: for the freedom of his fair Isle & for the heart of the woman he loves.


Well you didn't think Costner would be the villain did you?

[darthelvis]

Being John Malkovich starring Mickey Rourke as John Malkovich!

[darthelvis]

The Wicker Man starring Nic Cage, oh shit that did actually happen!

[Zombie Dude]

Here's two remakes I think could be cool:

Basket Case

I think Basket Case could be really creepy as a fair sized budget film. The idea of carrying your deformed brother around in a basket is pretty messed up and would be great to do with modern effects.

&

Demons (possibly in 3D)

I keep thinking of Demons 2 where the demons come out of the tv, so I think that kind of effect could look awesome in 3D.

Basically the film would play out like a movie epic and turn into an apocalyptic film, where demons are running rampant. You'll have different types of demons as well. The idea is that the demons that have been around longer would have mutated into bigger or faster forms (some might be able to fly for example).


Oh and one more, just because it popped into my head while I was writing.

Phantasm

Now as with most fans I would love to see these films get the proper ending they were meant to in a big budget fifth sequel. Though if that's not going to happen I'd be happy with a big budget remake. Possibly even a trilogy like Lord of the Rings. It would be action packed, filled with plenty of flying spheres, raging dwarfs, and of course, the mysterious Tall man.

Most importantly to this film, the actors should not be casted for their looks. It would ruin the film IMO as I think Phantasm works so well because of its normal looking characters which make them easier to relate too.

[BioZombie]

A remake of The Warriors

Directed by: Paul Greengrass

The Warriors are a gang of ex military men who know MMA and have all lost their memory. They have to get across Washington DC to get home, but they have been framed for killing the president so everyone is out to get them on their way.

And of course the whole things would be filmed in glourious shakey cam, and Matt Damon would play the lead!