:laugh:

Look, here's the matches ....
I give up ;):rolleyes::lol:

Sounds like you are saying we are heretics for liking Zombie Lake despite it being er' wonky?

D, do you actually think it some sort of masterpiece?

Jigsaw (2017)

*** out of *****


Justice League (2017)

It isn’t horrible, and it’s actually pretty good fun overall. But that’s just it - it’s merely pretty good, when it should’ve been something great on the same level of the first Avengers, considering the source material and the massive budget the filmmakers had to work with.

The tone is colourful unlike the dour Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. The chemistry and the humour between the team members is spot on. Despite the weak development of their characters, the cast are all solid, especially Gal Gorgot, who continues to impress as Wonder Woman, and Ezra Miller as the Barry Allen Flash. Jason Momoa makes for a very cool Aquaman. Ben Affleck deserves his shot at a solo Batman film working from a better screenplay. Props to Ray Fisher as Cyborg too.

The action set-pieces are largely entertaining, if you can get over the overuse of some shitty CGI. This brings me to Steppenwolf, easily one of the worst villains ever portrayed in a comic book movie; I cringed every time he was on screen, and when the major antagonist is this weak, it’s a big problem. The plot is wafer-thin. The stakes really don’t feel high - I never once sensed the world was on the brink of apocalypse. The way the team comes together seems forced, not organic like The Avengers, as the MCU was planned from the beginning, unlike this struggling DCEU.

It’s worth a watch… but maybe just the one time.

*** out of *****

Would have preferred your thoughts on JIgsaw than Justice League, CS.

I'd rank it up there with the better entries in the series - 1, 2, 3 & 6. I'm not a massive fan of the franchise, but I have enjoyed these ones, and this was better than it had any right to be, as it's an eighth instalment. The acting is serviceable to the needs of the plot, I liked the characters, the dialogue didn't irritatingly over-rely on the F word like earlier films, I liked how it was lit, it's briskly paced, it kept me guessing, and the twist is satisfying. Although it has its gory moments, there's nothing as extreme as say in 4... that is until the final scene. I actually liked that it didn't go for gross for the sake of being gross. Overall, it's nothing ground-breaking, but fans should be entertained.

Thanks. Seems like one for the collection when it hits dvd then. :nod:

I would have preferred thoughts on both films

Too many people are just posting a trailer and a mark/10

This doesn't tell me anything about the film, other than what the studio wants me to know (which is that this film in question is the greatest thing since sliced bread!)

No, Dem. My matches comment was directed at this :lol: ... by the time the bloody phone had posted it ... ahem. Zombie Lake is a chumbucket of a film. Any remake :rolleyes: couldn't fail to 'improve' on it (effects wise anyhow ... green paint ain't scary)
I'm a Shock Waves man through and through :nod:

Ha,ha! Shock Waves. The dullest zombie film in Christendom.

I have a lighter you can borrow. Save your matches. :burningtree:

:xmasnuts::hohoho:
The fun we have.
Watching Starcrash. Marjoe Mania!! :xmasbanana: It's gone aw festive? ... or am I having a stroke? :hohoho: I can smell the glue from here ... but is still far more entertaining than Valerian on a base level. And as this is the film I kept thinking of during V&TLCOP :hohoho:....
A-Xmas-hem. Spinell's haircut almost offsets his atrocious dubbing ... almost.

I'll get me Coates ...

So true! :rockon:

THE BABYSITTER -Not bad for a Netflix movie

BETTER WATCH OUT -Didn't care for this at all.Where I thought/hoped this movie was going was no where near where it went.Started off very promising and quickly tanked

LUCK KEY Fun Korean genre mash up,Watched on NETFLIX

A dull as **** awful film. It's a character study, not a slasher, but for some odd reason people consider it part of the sub-genre just because it has elements. I'm all for an interesting character study, but this isn't interesting at all - it's as boring as all hell, crawling at a snail's pace.

The Victim. Michael Biehn. 2011.

A pair of strippers, Annie and Mary meet up with two dirty cops in a secluded woods to snort coke and have some sex. When Mary accidentally get her neck broken doing it doggy style over a rock The cops decide to kill Annie two and bury them both in the woods to cover it up.
Annie manages to escape and flees. Finding a cabin in the woods she seeks shelter from its sole inhabitant, a reclusive and possibly not quite all there, Corporal Hicks.
That's it.
Apparently this is meant to be an exploitation film but I'm afraid random shagging and a few tit shots don't really cut it for me as exploitation. There is some violence but nothing special.
Whether Biehn who also directed this micro budget affair thought it would lend to the intended vibe of the film I'm not sure but his performance is bloody awful. A hodgepodge of ranting and yelling and confused questions about the most obvious things. I've seen Biehn in loads of stuff and the guy can act so I have to wonder if its intentional. On the whole i actually quite enjoyed the victim though I don't see it having much rewatch value and I have to admit I'm glad I only paid £1.50 for it.

I saw "The Victim" on the Horror channel a while back, can't say i was impressed, found it pretty dull.
The woman who plays Annie is Biehn's real wife.
Read into that what you will. :ladyxmas:

Samurai Cop
The LA police department transfer a cop from San Diego to help deal with a Japanese gang dealing drugs. This cop not only has to deal with the katana gang, but also the chief of police and his libido.
This film is awesome for all the wrong reasons, from the awkwardly shot action scenes to the constant change with Matt Hannon's hair (half the film was natural the other half a wig) to the dialogue and acting at times: this is a guidebook as to how not to make a film. And despite all the issues that this film has, it is a great laugh to watch with friends and is genuinely fascinating.
10/10

Sent from my MediaPad T1 8.0 Pro using Tapatalk

Ne'r a truer word spoken tonight. Film!!!:xmastree:

Decemberdike
 

December 1st - Olivia (1983)

Also known as Prozzie and Double Jeopardy, Uli Lommel's film is less a horror film and more the sort of melodrama you'd find on Channel 5 on a Tuesday afternoon minus the odd scene of nudity and a bit of blood towards the end. Entertaining in a clumsy way, this isn't anything you haven't seen before and lacks the occasionally creative murderous flourishes of say Lommel's own The Boogey Man (1980) , but actress and Lommel's wife, Suzanna Love is very good and holds the film together in scenes where the mind could easily wander. Sporting nods to Carpenter's Halloween initially and then Halloween III - relocating English tourist attractions - on top of the dual identity motifs, the plot is either all over the place or possibly a work of genius. I'll let you decide.

88 Films released this as part of their Slasher Classics line. No idea why. This wasn't bad either way.

Decemberdike
 

December 2nd - Father's Day (2011)

Probably the best film made by Troma. Father's Day is a mad as **** genre mash up with laughs aplenty and gore galore. The origins of the story are quite similar to my earlier reviewed Olivia in that kid spying on things that he'd be best not seeing sort of way that stems all the way back to Carpenter's Halloween, but the rest of the film is just plain nuts with a plot that's far too involved to go into here as it encompasses about every exploitation trait there is.

To say it's Troma, well you wouldn't know it as the film is well made and stylishly directed with characters that are certainly believable, at least in a Troma universe. As well as revulsion at various cock mutilations among the scenes of strong gore i found myself laughing out loud at some of the wittiest and awkward dialogue this side of Tarantino's very best.

Definitely not to be taken seriously, Father's Day is a hell of a lot of fun.

I really enjoyed Prozzie, Dem - it was something very different from what I was expecting... definitely not a slasher as you say. ;)

As for Father's Day, it's an Astron 6 film that was purely distributed by Troma (which is probably why it doesn't feel like a Troma film!). Tonnes of fun all the same though.

You recommended Father's Day ages ago to me. Glad you came through with that one.

I thought Astron 6 were fictitious as they have commercials during the film itself. :lol:

Plus of course Kauffman is in the film as well which gives it extra Toma value.

Army Of Darkness.
This being the 96 min original cut on BD. Looked sharp enough ... can't guarantee about scanner noise as the PS3 wheezes and groans worse than the bleedin' Tardis :hohoho:
Ash battles the undead and his own yellow streak to ... a happy ending??? :hohoho:
This being the Aussie disc from the set I received for Xmas. 5 versions is quite enough


Rise Of The Footsoldiers 2 & 3.
Doing this in a oner cos I ain't got the bleedin' time RIGHT?? (sniff) Loadsa fackin' caahntz like Jamie Foreman, Shaun Ryder, Billy Murray, Craig Fairbrass, (sniff), Larry Lamb, all them cahnts right poncing abaht in the sun wif all the birds n that (sniff) n course there's fackin' oodles of the white stuff inthere right? And I think to myself that it must be easy money for trained thespians to stand and shout at each other whilst ingesting milk sugar until they indeed hooked :hohoho: (sniff).
A hoot. That's 4 versions of the one story I've seen now. But then look how many Kray films there are ...

Metamorphosis

Modern French take on Ovid.

People wonder around a field, sometimes they have sex, sometimes the women turn into cows. It's boring yet oddly compulsive.

Please allow me to suggest you for next year's Nobel Prize in Literature! :clap: :nod:

---

Seriously, I love your concise and personal reviews. :thumb:

I am the anti Frankie Teardrop.:xmasnuts:

As a dizzy blind bat, I definitely welcome that!* :crutch: :high5: :thumb:

---

* Frankie's reviews are fine. If I had the patience and the eyes, I'd love his reviews, too. :nod:

Frankie's reviews are the best thing at Cult Labs. To be honest, I take no notice of what he is reviewing as he is into all that 80s stuff but as a stylist, he is superb.

Leon. Still a very fine film, though I have to admit I don't like the director's cut as much as the original. The extra 20 minutes is largely pretty extraneous and unnecessary, and really slows down the pace of the film. I think I'll go back to the theatrical next time. Less is more.:xmasclean:

SOLD
Will make super double bill with The Lobster :thankingyou:

Frankie could sell sand to Arabs. Hell the guys reviews make me want to watch the stuff he doesn't like as much as the stuff he does.

Dragon inn

Various people including the children of a beheaded general and a master martial artist end up at Dragon inn. Its a place in the desert near the borders of China and serves as the main location for the bulk of the films plot. The Generals rival has set a trap to make sure the kids die there rather than risk them coming back in a few years for vengeance. Simmering tensions come to the boil and we get lots of sword fights and people bouncing about the place.
King Wu's film is an early example of Wuxia. Think crouching tiger hidden dragon and your on the right path. In fact King Wu's films, Taiwanese martial arts epics, were a direct influence on Ang Lee's film.
One of the biggest detectable influence on the film is the Spaghetti western. Most obvious is the influence of Sergio Leone. The desert setting, pacing, framing and camerawork make the film feel like a martial arts take on the Dollars Trilogy (The Good, The Bad & the Ugly came out only a year previously). If you liked Crouching Tiger seek this out. Even if you didn't, seek this out. Its a much better film.

A touch of zen

King Wu's follow up to Dragon Inn is a 3 hour epic of politics, love and treachery all of which are ultimately trumped by Buddhism which is above such earthly concerns.
The film follows Gu, a scholar who is content living in the arse end of nowhere with his mother scraping a living. His mother is concerned as he's past 30 and unmarried. Gu is suspicious of a local castle that appears to be haunted. Investigating he discovers that its the hiding place of an exiled female swordsman. Gu's knowledge of military tactics eventually come in handy when an Army is sent to kill the swordsman and her comrades.
Much slower paced than Dragon inn, Touch of Zen might be off putting to some. It's over an hour before we see any martial arts at all. That said if you have the patience its ultimately rewarded with the impressive framing, camerawork and sets of Dragon Inn scaled up into a three hour epic.

Decemberdike.
 

December 3rd - Ghost Story (1981)

On a cold winter's night the Chowder Society - Four old men, Douglas Fairbanks jr, John Houseman, Melvyn Douglas and Fred Astaire - gather to tell ghost stories. (Seriously John Houseman telling ghost stories? The guy could creep me out reading my shopping list to me - he's that good) All four members share a dark secret from their youth regarding a drowned woman. Now the woman's spectre is returning to wreak revenge on the Chowder Society.

Although quite a slow moving film Ghost Story has a decent amount of scares (And i don't mean Houseman pretending to be the speaking clock) the ghost is genuinely terrifying and thankfully not hidden away until the end. The drowned woman, as played by lovely Alice Krige, features in flashbacks and again adds quite a bit of exploitative elements to proceedings. With a cast as renowned as this the acting is excellent as you'd expect and it was refreshing to have a film based upon older characters (and Craig Wasson) rather than the typical teen fodder modern supernatural films force on you.

In fact refreshing really does sum up Ghost Story as it's one of the best supernatural films i've seen in a long time and the splendid wintry setting makes it the ideal film to watch in the run up to Christmas.

That sounds superb, but I don't know if I'll be able to watch it because I can't hear the word "chowder" (or even some which sound like it) without hearing it in Freddie Quimby's voice!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-bbYH_akHg

Krampus 2015

After a disasterous start to a family get together for Christmas, young Max unwittingly summons the Christmas demon Krampus.

I bought this on a blind buy as i never saw the trailer and enjoyed it this christmas demon flick, it does start out as any other family flick, panic buying at the stores, fights and laughs, then you get together with parts of the family you try and avoid.

The acting in this film is really good from Toni Collette and Adam Scott as the fun loving christmas family, to David Koechner and Alison Tolman as the aunt and uncle who think its a humbug to the Aunt Dorothy (Conchata Ferrell) who hates kids.

This is certainly a film to watch and enjoy. 9 out of 10.

Have you read the book Dem? Its worth a read and the movie is a bit close to the novel

I have read it yes. I'm sure there was more than one ghost in the novel. It was a long time ago so i might be mistaken.

Yeah, the book is good. Althugh the creatures are more like shapeshifting monsters/vampires/supernatural wotsits than ghosts. Never seen the film.

I'm starting a Star Wars marathon leading up to the release of The Last Jedi. I'm not bothering with the prequel trilogy, as I can't handle the agony of sitting through the first two. I do really like Revenge of the Sith though, despite it carrying over some of the shit from those two.

But I thought I'd start here...

Rogue One (2016)

**** out of *****

Cheap Thrills (2014, E. L. Katz)

Oooh, since I only really knew David Koechner from Anchorman etc ..
Two old friends reunite in a low rent dive. One is having not the best of days, so when the opportunity rises to make some 'easy money', he reluctantly agrees. Worth a look, even if it did remind of a segment of Four Rooms .... Recommended on here, I will second that.

Amityville: The Awakening.
Not as out right hilarious as The Bye Bye Man, but still very funny. Recommended to those would fancy a Murican Karen Gillan ... and that's about it. Probably quite scary to 5 year olds :hohoho: What a shame Jennifer Jason Leigh is in this.