Weekly Comp - The Bird With The Crystal Plumage -22/05/2011 - FINISHED AND SENT

[PaulD]

For me the worst way the world would end features in a horrific recurring dream that haunts me every now and again. In this dream I wake up in the morning to find than a government experiment has gone wrong and a military-strength toxin has polluted the earth. The toxin causes humans to behave in a strange way, not in a violent and deadly way like in Romero's The Crazies but something a little bit different. Every human being who comes into contact with the virus feels compelled to surigically stitch their mouth to the anus of the nearest passerby, thus causing the longest Human Centipede ever seen.

In my dream I stumble out into the street amongst all the chaos, the burning cars, the collapsed buildings, the muffled screams. I find myself trying to resist but the toxin clogs up my lungs and obscures my judgement and I am aware how futile resistance is. Fate cannot be avoided and free will is an alien concept. I know I shouldn't but against every impulse I find myself attaching my mouth to the anus of the 6 billion-people long centipede as we join together in blissful serenity and the world ceases to exist.

Yes, the end the world really does suck ass.


"Ips de emd ov de wurld as bee know it amd i beel bine"

[InDogWeTrust]

The ABSOLUTE WORST way the world could possibly end is if aliens came to earth, took control of all our computers, all our tv's and all our radios and started broadcasting Justin Bieber 24/7!

[trouserpress]

For me, it would be trapped somewhere, knowing you only had enough time left to watch one movie. However, due to a bizarre set of circumstances, all you have left is Eddie Murphy in The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Watching that film, you begin to will the end of the world to come even sooner...

[Zombie Dude]

It aways scares me when I think about telemarketers taking over the world. Those bastards, always calling at inappropriate times. Well who are they gonna call well they take over?

[InDogWeTrust]

Oh man, My first post was out of rage. I was sitting in the car and they played like four justin bieber songs in a row

Originally Posted by Zombie Dude

I always used to joke that I'd drop a fart of such power and magnitude that the world would turn to dust So far it's only the smell that disgustingly deadly. Still gotta work on the power of it

If it doesn't happen that way I think at some stage everyone on earth will fart, maybe even fart and burp at the same time which would probably cause the earth to explode.

Everyone farts simultaneously and all the methane from every ones farts causes the greenhouse effect to go 100x faster and the earth gets destroyed that way!



Best way to die would be if scientists started experimenting with DNA from dinos making Jurassic Park a reality. Then the dinos escape the parks and run a chaos like the t-rex in The Lost World. It would be so great to be eaten by a t-rex!

[Zombie Dude]

Originally Posted by InDogWeTrust

Everyone farts simultaneously and all the methane from every ones farts causes the greenhouse effect to go 100x faster and the earth gets destroyed that way!

Not to mention that cows are the #1 cause of global warming. Us adding to that is surely going to cause a nuclear disaster

[Gigantor]

Worst way would be Global SASQUATCH Attacks!
After mankind has finally run of room forcing all the Sasquatches to kill mankind.

[Victhulhu]

Mark my words! it's only a matter of time before the wiggles take over.

[slaghammer]

It happened as follows:

David Cameron was in trouble. He had country to run with an economy worth sod all. Nothing worked - he even tried privatising death, by making people pay to NOT be pissed on by syphillitic dogs - this only raised 50p and a half-chewed Mars bar, so after much deliberation, it was decided that the best way to revitalise British industry would be to invest in a typically British product. Marmite was initially the favourite, but was denied by Eric Pickles, who insisted on something Branston's related. Pickles was the stumbling block for manh a month until he finally exploded whilst bending over to pick up a stray peanut.

And so the way was paved for a new option, but by now, Marmite had been licenced as a snail aphrodisiac in France, and was now out of the question. And then they had the brainwave: BAKED BEANS! Shares in Heinz shot up (controversially as they were not a British company, but this was hushed up by the tabloids for the first few months...), and consumption of three cans of beans was made mandatory on pain of death.

and so the great British public set about eating their beans with gusto, with many a merry toot involved. This went on for many years, until it became clear that the excess farting had damaged the ozone even more, and coastal areas of Britain were disappearing underwater. this was considered a tragedy, with the exception of Great Yarmouth, the destruction of which lead to a Bank Holiday.

However, radical steps were taken to save the British environment, and farting was outlawed outright. People were lynched for so much as an SBD (silent but deadly).
But holding it in is never a good thing! And so, after months of whitheld farting, everyone blew off at the same time, sending a cloud of noxious methane accross the country, destroying all in its path (with the exception of a few determined perverts). The noxious cloud of gas wafted accross the channel, where it met with a Frenchman's Galoise cigarette. And so, a whole was ripped through the universe. And to think it all could have been avoided by choosing Marmite over Pickles. The end.

[Drugula]

Back from a ultra-super-mega-heavy week of ****ing college, i am now able to think this.

the best way for the world to end is that some angel or apocalypse messiah gives ONLY ME the warning of doomsday and grants me 24 hours to get prepared for the final moment. Also, the same angel or apocalypse messiah makes every woman in the earth to have sexual dreams and get extremely horny just for seeing me, so I have to do nothing to go to bed with them. Obvisouly, that angel forbids any woman to talk, so I do not have to listen to women bullshit.

the worst way for the world to end is seeing some sunday morning-mormon screaming and shouting the words "I told you so, I told you so!"