Weekly Comp - Erik The Viking - 16/10/2011 - FINISHED

[Gigantor]

What do you get if you stuff your hand up a gypsy's **** when she is on her period?
Your palm Red!

[Gigantor]

What tastes good on pie but not on pussy?
Crust!

[Gigantor]

Did you hear about the blind gynecologist?
He could read lips!

[Gigantor]

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?

They can both smell it but can't eat it.

[Gigantor]

A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"

"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.

"What's so funny about that?"

"I'm a gynecologist."

[Gigantor]

A woman walks along the corridor of a hospital and sees a
man with a lab coat, and asks him:
"Sir, are you a gynecologist?"
"No, but I can take a look."

[Gigantor]

At a gynecologist's office, a girl undergoes a check-up
and takes her clothes off. The doctor suddenly sees the
letter "N" imprinted on her stomach and asks,
"What's this?"
The girl says,
"You see, doctor, my boyfriend is a football player, he's
from New-York, and every time we have sex the letter N
from his shirt gets imprinted on my body."
The next day, another girl comes to him, and he sees the
letter "L" on her stomach, and says,
"What's this?"
The girl replies,
"You see, doctor, my boyfriend is a football player from
LA, and every time we have sex the letter L from his shirt
gets imprinted on my body."
On the third day, yet another girl comes to him, with the
letter "W" on her body.
The doctor says:
"I know , I know, your boyfriend is a soccer player from
Washington..."
"No, doctor, my girlfriend is from Moscow..."

[Gigantor]

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one
look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He
immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began
to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological
abnormalities."

"That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do
you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.

"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer."

"Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and
started having sexual intercourse with her.

He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place"

[Gigantor]

One woman says to another, "I can't understand why you haven't gone to see that new gynecologist yet! I mean he's so young and handsome! And your gynecologist is so old!"
The other woman replies with a smile, "Yeah, I know. His hands shake all the time!"

[Gigantor]

A man goes into the Job Center in Downtown London, and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more.

"Can you give me some more details?" he asks the clerk.

The clerk pulls up the file and says, "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination."

"There's an annual salary of $65,000, but you're going to have to go to New Castle "

"Good grief, is that where the job is?"

"No sir -- that's where the end of the lineup is right now.