Off with his head :lol:

At least i wouldn't have to watch the first boring as hell hour and a half. :lol:

Under Siege (1992)

A classic Steven Seagal feature in the Die Hard tradition as Seagal's chef Casey Ryback attempts to stop terrorists led by Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey take over the U.S. Navy battleship Missouri.

Location work aboard the USS Alabama is excellent and the script delightfully pacy with Busey and Jones at their manic best and Seagal an ass kicking force of nature.

This was the first time i'd actually seen Under Siege uncut as the UK vhs and dvd's were always seven seconds light previously.

That's quite a statement considering part 3 was universally panned and part 4 was even worse. I have good memories of watching this on home video with my dad as a boy so it has nostalgic value.
I watched it the other week with my own son and still enjoy it. I didn't see the original until the mid 90s and thought it was just as good as the sequel and a totally different film.

Nostalgia plays a big part in how we feel about films, especially those we saw in our youth.

The Curse of Dracula (2019)

Titled The Curse of Valburga overseas, this Slovenian horror film is a proper mixed bag.

For a start Dracula has nothing to do with it, the story essentially is about a group of tourists (all seemingly armed following their own agendas) who take a tour run by three down on their luck Slovenian loudmouths (or wankers as we'd call them over here) to a deserted mansion under pretence of a local legend. However the mansion basement is home to a family of cannibals who are delighted lunch is now on the menu.

I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a comedy horror or if the subtitles translated from Slovenian just made it that way, i'll give the the benefit of the doubt and say so as thankfully some of the comedic aspects i found genuinely funny such as a German couple on the tour. The pair, totally laid back, crack open a couple of beers hidden in the wife's pencil case size handbag. Then the next scene she produces two more, then two more, and more and more and more, i was genuinely laughing out loud every time this happened.

There are also three wannabe porn film makers on the tour who sneak off from the group into the far reaches of the mansion to make an anal sex film. I'm not sure Slovenians actually know the definition of anal sex but it sure as shit isn't two girls bopping their fully clothed arses together in front of a whooping camera man.

What really worked for me are the special effects. All done practically with a large round projectile saw blade as the weapon of choice. Slicing off limbs, shredding shoulders and cutting deep into heads, it really was a treat for the eyes.

The film as a whole felt very seedy. Every other word uttered (or mostly shouted) was f*ck or c*nt and it became both extremely annoying and repetitive although given the obnoxious characters populating the film it was hardly surprising.

With a better script this could have been okay as the gore and location was pretty enjoyable and memorable but the rest. Well, forget it.

Attachment 232793
AUDREY ROSE (1977)

Anthony Hopkins is convinced that the daughter of a couple born a few minutes after his daughter died in a car crash fire, is in fact his daughter, Audrey Rose reincarnated..
This is a great movie. Although the UK cert at the time was 'AA', the film at times is quite harrowing and intense. A film that lingers in the mind for a few days after even if you have seen it before.

Love At First Note. 1979.

Count Dracula and his loyal servant Renfield are evicted from his castle and heads to New York to find his true love who has taken form of a model Cindy Sondheim.

One of the good spoofs of the Dracula seeking his bride who has reincarnated as a pill pusher borderline drinker, George Hamilton in one of his best roles plays the campy Dracula and Arte Johnson as bug eating servant Renfield. Susan Saint James plays Cindy who is under the care of a doctor who is a decendant of Van Helsing willing to carry on the family name of vampire slayers played by Richard Benjamin. The film may be outdated with the clothes and soundtrack but still brings in a good laugh.

Attachment 232794

This was one of those that terrified me as a kid for weeks after watching late Friday night on itv of bbc1. Ah the good old days .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFsmtRWxKLE

A Viking sets out too kill the creature which killed his family ,short and enjoyable with some decent gore and creature effects. With the look and setting they could of called it a Skyrim story.


Now watching .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRHsz7kaXAk

San Andreas (2015)

Shit blows up! Shit sinks! Shit definitely collapses!

And that was just my house as i cranked the HD soundtrack to destructive levels via the Yamaha amp.

Bizarrely my dog Milly slept through it all with her head against the Bose sub woofer.

Very enjoyable and spectacular modern disaster movie. Just don't try to think about it and it's one hell of a lot of fun.

Well I just watched the 2010 version of A Nightmare on Elm Street, I won't be making that mistake again. A film based on the most Iconic of 80s horror films, only remade without any plot and awful visuals.

Dogshit lol.

Once seen it you can't unsee it Justin, I thought it was only me that hated then film.

I thought it was better than the sequels aside from 2,3 and New Nightmare.

I'm not the greatest fan of the series to be honest.

I'd take 4 and 5 over that remake any day. They're stupid but they know they are. This one was so flat, the actors looked bored and it had a really uninspiring score as well. I wouldn't say it was bad but it was boring.

They may be stupid but still a bit entertaining :behindsofa:

Time for Spookies me thinks.

I remember what a certain birthday boy said about it so i hope i'm not going to be like this afterwards.

If you want me i'll be getting high sniffing the booklet!

Spookies (1986)

What a gloriously bonkers, bizarre, badly f*cked up mess this is. Such a troubled production meaning it plays out like a series of almost unrelated horror sketches, each one more deliriously outlandish than the last with gorgeous practical make up FX throughout as well as one or two effectively chilling scenes.

If you like Evil Dead, Return of the Living Dead, Ghoulies and other 80's madness then i heartily recommend this.

A brilliant antidote to all the self congratulatory, back slapping bullshit going on in Hollywood tonight.

I was wondering what you'd make of Spookies, glad you enjoyed it.:cool:

Not all of it works but on the whole it's a blast.

Seen this last year on Film4 and it's on again on Tuesday morning early hours.
It's about an unemployed, middle aged man who gets a job listening to and recording phone calls for a dodgy government agency. It reminded me of those 70s conspiracy thrillers and is a good watch.

Ouija. 2014.

After the death of their friend, a group play with a ouija board and unleash a malevolent spirit that torments them.

This is no way a masterpiece of a memorable horror film, since its release I have only seen it twice (second time being today) and I did wonder why it was at the back of the unit. The acting is decent enough, the actors do try to make it entertaining but seems to lack jump scares even the cinematography was done decently and a nice small appearance by Lin Shaye cant save it. Heck even the cheesy film Witchboard puts this film to shame.

Attachment 232805

Jurassic World (2015)

Never let it be said that i am not a considerate person.

I had the full velocity thunderous audio visual HD experience of an Indominus Rex, T-Rex and Velociraptor smack down and the sharing, caring side of me allowed my neighbours to listen to it also.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRHsz7kaXAk

Two giants of it'd Italian cinema Lucio Fulci and Dario Agento team up for a gory tale a number of gruesome murders and disappearance in Rome around 1915 which seem to be linked too a wax museum which has just opened. Gory with lots of T&A on display, the last few minutes the film turns into the terminator.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gts3q4zz88

A young woman unwittingly gets involved in a satanic ritual after delivering pizza too a super rich neighbourhood, she has to fight for survival from.The coven who want her to give birth too the demon baphomet, she soon teams up with the coven leaders daughter. Watch out for Jerry O'Connell in a small and short role. Another enjoyable movie that I wouldn't of bothered seeing if I had it streamed it. Moral of the story here get some cock and don't be a virgin or a static cult will want a demon with a 20inch dong to screw you.


Now watching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvCNDTtcgZ0

Ouija: Origin Of Evil. 2016.

1960s Los Angeles, a widowed mother and her two daughters introduce a Ouija Board to their seance scam and awaken a dark force.

Not very often me and Angie agree on films but both of us agree this was alot better than the previous film. There is more suspense and tension built in to the movie and decent jump scares added in and a decent back story explained about the history of the house. Was good to see Henry Thomas step up and appear in another horror film.

Attachment 232807

The Unfamiliar (2020)

An army medic comes back from military service to find her son is acting decidedly odd and her husband appears to have taken an alarming career change, thinking it PTSD she attempts to regain her normal life.

Following a promising start i gradually began to lose interest in this British supernatural horror. Although Jemima West and Christopher Dane were playing their parts well enough the story was so uneventful. At one point i looked at the dvd time elapsed thinking it near the hour mark and only 28 minutes had passed.

As the spookiness intensified so my mind wandered more and by the end i was checking off the films it ripped off such as The Innocents and Vault of Horror.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS6EWsb8wQw

Just die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die
Bob you annoying little shit!

Now watching

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3YlOGSUhv8


Edit

Is this a horror of a John Hughes film at the moment it's feels a shit John Hughes film with a softcore porn soundtrack.

:pound:

If you have the latest Blue Underground release there is an interesting interview with the Bob actor who explains he was overdubbed by a woman and it's really not his annoying voice and he's sorry :lol:

With Ouija, I completely agree with you, nothing fundamentally wrong, it was just too dull for seasoned Horror fans. However I believe that if this was somebody's 1st Horror Film, then I believe that they would probably enjoy it.

I'm sure that anybody that just turned 15 and this was at the Cinema, then I can believe that they would absolutely lap it up.

Regarding Origin Of Evil, I was going to watch it but I didn't bother because of the original.

I may give this one a shot now.

It's Mike Flanagan. Of course it's better than the original! ;)

Escape To Victory

Prisoners at a German P.O.W Camp including Sylvester Stallone, Michael Caine and Pele play a German Football team in which they plot to escape. Not a bad way to spend a couple of hours.

Next Karate Kid

Mr. Miyagi takes troubled teen (Hillary Swank) under his wing. But she and her potential boyfriend fall four of Michael Ironside and his prized students. For a spin off, this isn't all that bad, with the Monks dancing to The Cranberries "Dreams" and playing Bowling being highlights, however the finale was a damp squid.

I did think the Hawk was going to cop it though.

Vipco: Untold Story

Documentary on the rise and fall of the beloved/notorious label. At 2 hours, it went through a lot with the key points of the failure being the dodgy picture quality of the DVD's, lack of extras an the price tag.

I was hugely anticipating this and whilst it didn't live up to my hype, I wasn't disappointed, I'll have to watch it again for a more balanced opinion.

I may even watch Spookies one day.

The Party's Just Beginning. A young woman spirals into depression and self-destructive behaviour in the year following the suicide of her best friend. Karen Gillan stars in, writes and directs this downbeat 2018 drama that's very well acted and made, and quite compelling in its way, but not exactly a barrel of laughs you'd put on to cheer yourself up. :tongue1::scared:

The few I've perused recently then ...

Don't Panic (1988, Ruben Galindor Jr)

Really liked this homage to Freddy and what not. Will revisit.



The Phoenix Incident (2015, 2015, Keith Arem)

FF based around "the Phoenix Lights" phenomena, more in tone with Savageland, this was decent enough.


Demons 3: The Ogre (1988, Lamberto Bava)

Enjoyable romp. You want glimmers of decent imagery? Want a piecemeal yet threadbare plot? Sign right up then!


Blood Delirium (1988, Sergio Bergonzelli)

You want-a tortured artist? You want him played by the angel from Barbarella? Gordon Mitchell as his Igor? You want him to find his reincarnated muse in the form of a dizzy pianist? Ahem. Bonkers and in the best way.


The Undertaker (1988, Frank Avianca)

Spinell's last stand. Townsfolk get a tad concerned when the bodies start piling up. Could our soft spoken coroner have anything to do with it?



The Video Dead (1987, Robert Scott)

A new home brings its own problems. Usually the undead are not amongst them. Oh, well ... :lol: Still as daft as AF and a wee bit more grisly than I remembered.


Open House (1987, Jag Mundhra)

Odd Canadian thing. Someone is targetting real estate agents :lol:, no really. The cops are clueless, but could an irate caller on a radio talk show hold the key? Adrienne Barbeau turns up in this one, which was a pleasant surprise indeed.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/...82,268_AL_.jpg

IFC Midnight it's a distributor for indie horror movies.

Dementia it's a mix between Misery and revenge thriller - good acting, some stuff was predictable but it's enjoyable.

Recommend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3YlOGSUhv8

An enjoyable nightmare on elm street style rip off, the films starts with 17 year old Michaels birthday and his friends using a
Ouija board the film then turns into a John Hughes teen romance for the next 30 minutes or so then turns back into a horror when a number disappearances and murders take place, Michaels eye glow red and he has visions of these killings,this and being seen at the murder scenes make him prime suspesct. Enjoyable and daft but the strangest and most terrifying thing is a 17 year old man running around in a pair childs PJs with dinosaurs on them which no one seems too bat an eyelid too.

Up one of these if I can decide


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV8B0egYHAE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRwNFNNNTC0


Edit

Went with The Furies as seems the easier watch.

. 1987.

A group of stage actors in a small theatre rehearsing for the main show that's due to be shown within a week are being stalked and killed by a psychopath who has escaped from a mental institute.

This one I didn't seem to enjoy that much when in first saw it, now for me it's decent work of art from Michele Soavi who not only directed it but gave himself a small role as a detective. Giovanni Lombardo Radice makes a appearance not as a hard man but as a talented actor and dancer for the show. David Brandon plays the director who wants everything done precisely and accurately and Barbara Cupisti as the lead actress who done a decent job as the leading lady. Either this has been a heavily edited film or George Eastman (Lew Cooper) is taking a break from his hard-core writing, either way it's still a good movie.

Attachment 232838

I always felt Soavi made the film he wanted with Stagefright tbh. It's just a a bit daft in places, and that's half the reason I love it really ....



Continuing the catch up ....

The Kaos Brief (2017, JP Madarino)

FF. A somewhat flighty young man, his sister and their respective partners go camping. (The doors are bolted btw :lol:). Sliiiightly unusual if only for characters you don't see in this genre that often ahem. That said, some elements are open to ridicule tbh, though others are effective enough.


Commando Mengele (1987, Andreas Bianchi)

Howard and Jack and Antonio and Chris Mitchum and Fernando Rey?
A crack team hunt down an infamous foe in sunny South America. Rey shouts on the phone. Vernon doesn't appear to open his mouth for the duration. Taylor sports a moustache. Chris sports the latest line in terrorist chic. An odd one. Some fun here, even if the plotting is a tad slapdash in places.


Project Nightmare (1987, Donald M. Jones)

Feeling more like a 70s flick, two dudes are stranded and try and make sense of their surroundings. They meet a helpful woman and a dying man, but it's not until they are separated that the true nature of their environment is revealed. Decent enough if a bit heavy handed. Worth a look.


Star Crystal (1986, Lance Lindsay)

SF caper. Model work awwww, third tier at that :lol:
Ahem. Boil in the bag shenanigans ensue when a creature spawns from a "sample" onboard a shuttle craft, causing the crew some discomfort etc etc. Gorier than some efforts I've seen, though that's no recommendation ahem.



Future Kill (1985, Ronald W. Moore)

Always remembered the box for this one aka Night Of The Alien.
TCM reunion with Ed Neal and Marilyn Burns (no shared scenes boo!) ... calm down .... oddity as it welds the "fratboy" genre to something that lurks in Death Wish III's universe :lol::nod:.
Straying into the wrong territory for a dare, some entitled folks get to see how the other half live. Not as Mike Leigh as I'm making it sound :laugh: