SCI-FI September!

[MacBlayne]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Hang on a minute and colour me confused. Universal Soldier has a sequel starring Van Damme, in fact three sequels and Dolph's also in parts three and four as well. There's The Return, Regeneration and Day of Reckoning.

You're right. Here's The Return...

Universal Soldier: The Return

Directed by Mic Rogers
Written by William Malone and John Fasano

Seven years after the events of the first film, Luc Deveraux (Van Damme returning) sells out and now helps the US Government in running the programme. Assisting in making sure nothing goes wrong, a super computer called SETH (Michael Jai White) controls all the UniSols. However, when a bastard politician decides to shut down the programme (some shite about runaway costs and ethics), SETH rebels and leads his army against the government. Only former slave Deveraux stands between the UniSols and their revolution.

A turgid sequel that destroys whatever little character the original film retained. I really don’t want to talk too much about this one as it is the worst film I’ve seen in a while. The visuals are crap. The nu-metal soundtrack is irritating as hell. Van Damme is confused. Jai White gives it his best shot. Bill Goldberg hams it up as a poor Lundgren replacement. And Xander Berkeley was probably crying between takes.

Despite director Rogers background in stuntwork, the action is limp. The explosions are probably big, but Rogers just can’t let his camera settle. Even the editing is abysmal as it keeps up with the poo-metal soundtrack.

Seriously, avoid this one. If it’s on the television, stop paying your licence fee. If you know a friend that has it in their collection, unfriend them immediately. If you see a shop stocking it, burn the place down. Anything, just to avoid the slight chance that you may accidentally see it.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by MacBlayne

You're right. Here's The Return...

Universal Soldier: The Return

Okay, how the hell did you watch that one so quickly?

Regeneration is quite watchable if you are interested. I haven't seen the 4th film.

[MacBlayne]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Okay, how the hell did you watch that one so quickly?

Regeneration is quite watchable if you are interested. I haven't seen the 4th film.

I've seen them all. I have the first film, Regeneration and Day of Reckoning on Blu. Only got round to seeing the others this week so I thought I'd write up some quick reviews.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by MacBlayne

I've seen them all. I have the first film, Regeneration and Day of Reckoning on Blu. Only got round to seeing the others this week so I thought I'd write up some quick reviews.

Phew! I thought you were another Trebor.

He who buys every film and series mentioned on the forum and watches and sells them before the postman even delivers them.

[MacBlayne]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Phew! I thought you were another Trebor.

He who buys every film and series mentioned on the forum and watches and sells them before the postman even delivers them.

I actually know somebody who will watch films and boxsets at 1.5X speed so he can watch as much as possible God knows what he sees when he puts Armageddon on...

[Inspector Abberline]

Planet of the Apes (1968 )

Why do I keep going back to this film,what is it that has a hold of me *Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" How can i watch a film over again and still get a lump in my throat when that ending approaches,it still has a power to make you think. Like Taylor (Charlton Heston) we realise that the humans are doomed,what ever they do,which ever route they take they are ultimately doomed.Its a great fantasy to think about,an whole new life form taking over the planet where the humans have fumbled the ball. but when we look at ape society,its not quite the utopia it should be,like the Labour party its pretty much split down the middle,between the scientific establishment which is portrayed by Roddy McDowall as Cornelius and Kim Hunter as Zira,the peace loving chimpanzees,then there is the bureaucratic orangutans as portrayed by Maurice Evans as Dr. Zaius a kind of EU,managing to wrap everything in red tape and being very good at talking alot but doing very little except cover up the secret of man.Finally there is the gorillas,dressed black fetishistic uniforms and pretty much encompassing the far right of politics.Which basically leaves the humans,as the illegal immigrants,hoarded into camps, and brutally experimented on for the purposes of ape kind. Where as the remakes have tried to be a bit to clever in there evolution of the apes,the original for goes all that and gets straight into the story,you literally crash land into the film knowing very little of what is going to happen,but like Taylor when you first get a glimpse of the apes on horseback and when you hear them talk for the first time you kind of get it instantly,you do not need any back story or evolution,its talking apes for f""ks sake. I luv this film for many reason,and it has nothing to do with Linda Harrison as Nova in her furry bikini.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Are you going to run through all the Ape films before the month ends, Inspector?

Watching Blade Runner made me want to. Not sure why Blade Runner would, but it did.

[Inspector Abberline]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Are you going to run through all the Ape films before the month ends, Inspector?

Watching Blade Runner made me want to. Not sure why Blade Runner would, but it did.

Not particularly I just got the urge,or maybe that was a flea,to watch it again.

[Inspector Abberline]

The Omega Man (1971)

Hairy chested Charlton Heston is the last man alive that has not been affected by the plague caused by biological warfare,yes that's right man has finally managed to destroy himself,just like he did in all of those other 1970 apocalyptic movies. But at least Chuck has the whole of Los Angeles to play around in,going shopping,stealing cars and watching the film Woodstock whenever he pleases.The only minor problem is that he has to fend off the attacks of those hooded crazies "The Family",poor blighter's,succumbing to the plague means your hair goes white you hate the sun and you turn into a albino Luddite and go around smashing up technology and just generally be a bit fed up about life.Meanwhile Charlton Heston is trying to come up with a vaccine,and hopefully save what remains of the planet.And what remains of civilisation is a bunch of hippies but most importantly there is Rosalind Cash a sexy as hell Pam Grier type,this is most important because other wise Chuck would have no one to kiss.Omega Man starts out like its going to be serious take on the subject,but it gradually turns into a 1970's Marvel comic book,with a bit of blaxploitation thrown in for good measure and a pinch of hippy nonsense just to get the kids on board. It has to be said the most interesting aspect of the whole film is the crazy 'Family' a sort of mix of the Manson family and The Jackson Five. Looking quite cool in there satanic hoods and sunglasses,there pretty sprightly for a group of people with the plague,managing to run around and cause Chuck no end of grief. Omega Man does tend throw in every kind of 1970;s fad,from the idea of cult;s to hippies right throw to Vietnam war and how the MAN has screwed every thing up., When Chuck is not being Moses or Ben Hur in the past,he spent a lot of his time in the future trying to fight the earths demise.Omega Man is a fun film,With the argument over which is the best adaptation of I am Legend,I really do not care,I read the book,its not that great,so Omega Man wins for me.

[trebor8273]

Alien

An absolute classic, not much more I can say that's not already been said. 9.8/10