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9/10

Farrelly Brothers were unstoppable in the 90s. This along with There's Something About Mary and Dumb and Dumber are superb.

The Conjuring
 

My personal favourite film in the horror genre.
The Conjuring by director James Wan from 2013.
I like films based on true events, like the Amityville films. Vera Farmiga as Lorraine Warren and Patrick Wilson as Ed Warren.

Unfortunately I can't share any pictures/URLs yet, but I think many of you will know the first part of the Conjuring series I'm talking about.

Hell House LLC II (2018, Stephen Cognetti)

Another traipse around everyone's favourite holiday destination :lol:
An investigative web journalist is attracted to the story at the Abbadon hotel, so guess what? Dig up the survivor and a smarmy psychic and off we go ...
I thought at points they were going for the comedy route, as some of the dialogue was so painfully dire, until the last third where it yet again proves to me that some folk really liked the last level of the original Silent Hill game :laugh:
Ahem.


RWD (2015, Matt Stuertz)

A pair of debunkers go location hunting. They find an abandoned ... something, didn't look like an asylum (no cells) or anything really. They find some temporal loop which causes them no end of grief with the doppelgangers and that. Somewhat confusing at the end (intentional??) so I may revisit it ... or not :lol:


Both FF. NEXT!!!

One of my favourite comedies its hard to beat Big Ernie McCracken :lol:

Big Ern is some character, his hair at the end is genius. But he pretty much steals every scene he's in.

Game Of Death. 1978.

Billy Lo is a high action film star being persuade to join "The Syndicate" organisation who will take care of his finances, when Billy refuses several times they decide he has to die. Billy fakes his death in order to keep his girlfriend safe and seek revenge.

This was put on hold so Bruce Lee can do Enter The Dragon, part of the film had been shot and unfortunately Bruce passed away, as much as I liked this film I still feel this should not have been done, Tai-Jeeong Kim steps in to portray Billy Lo, you can tell it's not the best double and use stock footage from his other movies, but you can't deny the good fight scenes when Bruce is involved.

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Its crazy the way it was done using the funeral footage in the film but like you said whenever Bruce Lee is on screen it makes up for how ridiculous everything else is.

Game Of Death .... one of the Exploitation masterclasses tbh.
We've got some footage ... but not enough .... so we'll eke it out with padding.
:nod:

Stephen King's Desperation (2006)

Mick Garris' two hour tv movie of the 1996 Stephen King novel (Who actually wrote the screenplay himself) is a hugely enjoyable horror thriller.

Helped by a good cast - Ron Perlman, Tom Skerritt, Annabeth Gish, Steven Weber and Charles Durning - the film tells the story of a disparate group of people who end up locked in jail in the same backwater police station by grizzled sheriff Perlman.

I was pretty much gripped from the opening scenes and my interest never wavered. I felt the film had echoes of the superb King mini series Storm of the Century (1999) with it's settings and possession premise whilst still being entirely it's own entity whilst director Garris keeps the action flowing smoothly.

There are some reasonably gory sequences and stand out parts such as what seem like hundreds of possessed animals sat at the side of the road in almost guard of honor style will stick in the memory.

By the way, the backwater town is called Desperation, but it also describes the situation for the jailbirds.

Eurocine - "Pah! Game of Death...Hold my beer"

Crash. 1996.

James Ballard, a T.V. Director is involved in a car crash, and is introduced to a sub underground culture of car crashes made famous by Vaughn who wants to re-create crashes made by celebrities, Ballard and his wife find a raw passion for their sex life with others around them.

After reading the book several years ago and enjoyed, was interesting to see how David Cronenberg would make it I thought it be a piece of good work...Cronenberg seemed to studied the book and brought it to screen amazingly. It may not be for everyone even Angie had a few choice of words but did say Cronenberg does have a weird imagination from horror to this. It's a dark, psychological thriller of what makes people tick and seeing crashes as a piece of art.

Elias Koteas who plays Vaughn is brilliant as he seems to study car crashes and victims and sees how they suffer and recover from their injuries and going into depth detail on how the famous were in car crashes and attempts to re-enact their crashes and demise. James Spader and Deborah Kara Unger play the happily married open relationship couple drawn into the world of crashes Holly Hunter and Rosanna Arquette also star who seem to draw everyone in to their lives.

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THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER (1950)

British movie adaptation lost in the shadow of Roger Corman's 1960 version.
A quite atmospheric film. The house really is a dark old house with gloomy corridors, candles and creaking doors. There is even a torture chamber in an old temple in the woods. The black and white and the music score adding to the feel of a sense of dread.
Creepy good.

Leon. 1994.

12 year old Mathilda is taken in by neighbour Leon after her family is gun down by corrupt D.E.A. agent and his team. Learning Leon is a hitman, Leon reluctantly teaches Mathilda the tricks of the trade and form a unusual bond.

Natalie Portman in her debut yet most people say controversial role as 12 year old Mathilda who seems to know how the mature mind works and can try to be a seductress yet emotional at the same time. Jean Reno gives out the quiet neighbour type of guy who won't say boo to anyone yet give him a gun and all hell breaks looks, from the start he is reluctant and tries to pass off Mathilda yet he sees her as a daughter he never had. Gary Oldman stands out as the D.E.A agent Norman Stansfield who stands out as a sadistic person who doesn't care who is in the cross fire as long as he comes out winning.

The director's cut shows more interaction between the two main characters that can be uncomfortable to watch yet you can't turn away, always the last 15-20 minutes is always the great part with Stansfield ordering 200 men to take out one guy and the finale face to face.

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Two Thousand Maniacs. 1964.

Six people are lured to a small town where the residents plan to kill them.

A nice little number of a film (Pun Intended :lol:)and for a mid 60s film it isn't that bad at all, the acting and the accents can be a bit laughable as the townsfolk try to put on a southern accent. With it being 60s film we are shown before the killings and the result but decently effecting make up effects, the killings seem original but the victims don't die quietly though.

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Cthulhu Mansion (1992, JP Simon)

Lovecraftish from the man who brought us Pieces?
Sadly tis a bit damp, even with the Frank Finlay at the front and centre of it all. A Melanie Shatner also appears, wonder whose bairn she could be COUGH? :laugh:
Avoid.


Steelmanville Road (2017, Nigel Bach)

Ever inherited anything? Did it end well? FF.
A young couple land on their feet when they acquire a bleedin' mansion (not quite haha) through serendipity. Strange stuff starts to happen. If it hadn't been for the sassy medium, I might have turned this one off, as it brought nowt new to the table. Apparently the prequel to something called Bad Ben? I'm sure I've seen that cough. Tbh the last decent one was Savageland (recommended), so I may give the shakycam a rest for a while.

Massacre In Dinosaur Valley

After a Plane crashes in The Amazon Jungle, a group of survivors must navigate the treacherous jungle whilst avoiding Cannibals and Slave Owners. You can't really classify this as a Cannibal Movie but I found it rather entertaining.

Dirty Sanchez: The Movie

The Jackass crew have some sense of style for what they do, these guys go for the most insane and grossest stunts imaginable. These guys are complete nutters. (Did Pritchard actually intentionally cut off part of his finger?) However even though they have done one of the grossest things I've ever scene (Believe me, there were a lot of turning heads and groans in the Cinema screen) there were some really funny moments especially the Paintball scene where Pritchard is so excited to be in the Guinness Book Of Records only to find out there is no such record and the reactions of the loser of a bet in Thailand along with the celebrations of the winners.

The Inbetweeners Movie

The lads go to Greece after finishing school only for their best laid plans to go wrong. I actually saw this before seeing the TV show and it's very funny and well worth a watch if you haven't seen the TV show.

What's annoying about Game of Death is that 39 minutes of good, originally shot footage actually existed. It's on certain dvds and blu-rays as a bonus feature.

The idiots responsible for the film used less than half of it. You would have thought they would have wanted to use as much Bruce Lee footage as possible. Not sure what they were thinking?

Having seen the disastrous final end product (it really is a terrible movie imo), I now just choose to watch the 39 minute bonus feature as a stand-a-lone, ignoring the film itself. It's much more impressive.

Black Widow (1987)

Disappointing neo-noir thriller in which Justice agent Debra Winger pursues Theresa Russell whom she suspects of marrying then murdering wealthy men.

I was expecting this to be a steamier affair, especially with Russell as a manipulative man eater, but it was quite tame especially when you take into account both the premise of this movie other neo noirs of the period such as Body Heat, Sea of Love and Fatal Attraction.

As it is Black Widow is a slickly directed film that gives the game away far too early and is short on suspense. Nice twist at the end though!

Escape from Alcatraz (1979)

One of the seventies most potent film making duo's, director Don Siegel and star Clint Eastwood, come together for a final time in this tough and compelling account of the only successful escape from San Francisco's notorious island prison.

Despite me seeing this countless times over the years it has me enthralled each and every time. Siegel's direction is top notch with a surgeons attention to detail and Eastwood is perfect for the role of successful escapee Frank Morris. Patrick McGoohan has a scene stealing support turn as the prison warden too, but it's not just the stars who make this so memorable.

The film's secondary characters are fully rounded and brilliantly realised. From the super cool 'English' (Paul Benjamin) to the tragic 'Doc' (Roberts Blossom) - who's hatchet to the fingers scene has haunted me since childhood.

I think this is one of the best movies of the 70's and the best prison movie to date. A gripper from first to last!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNmngdUaQd8

A young brother and sister accidentally resurrected a evil alien overlord , whom wants to take over the world, with a gem they find they can control the alien whom the sister calls psycho goreman, while the brother is slightly annoying the sister is a complete nut job whom use psycho for her childish whims , going so far as too having the boy she's interested in turned into a giant brain and her slave. Not long after a warrior is sent from space to hunt down and kill psycho and she seems that she could be even worse than he is. Slowly psycho becomes part of this screwed up family . Very gory and quite funny with a very 80s bmovie feel and great use of particle effects from that era. It's like a screwed up and gory version of Harry and the Henderson's. 8/10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naUUyD-_oPc

A group of 20 something's after a car accident are stranded in the West Virginia woods and some become prey too a group of inbred hillbilly cannibals is their any other kind? Most of the cast are annoying apart from the medical student and Eliza Dushku. Eliza Dushku tied too a bed what's not to like. 7/10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KtYRALe-xo

What a cast a love letter to the action movies of the 80s and 90s. Forget the story just sit back and enjoy the action and shit blowen up. People might complain about the acting but I would say watch the scene with Mickey Rourke taking too Sly about the woman he didn't save. What a fantastic cast. 9/10

Now watching wrong turn 2.

Yule Strong: A Film by the Wessex Working Men.

A collection of short films that work as a themed whole looking at rural and national identity, myth and legend, boxing, strongman contests and stone lifting. The whole thing is peppered with clips from 70s vampire films and has a soundtrack of folk music and spoken word pieces.

The whole thing is wonderfully eccentric in a very English way and a part of a greater art/occult project that includes books, zines and dvds all put out at a crazy pace by the husband and wife team behind it. They are presently know as Wyrd Isle Analogue Collective and only have a social media presence on Telegram. That could change as they constantly rename themselves and appear and disappear on different platforms.

Noted M!



I .... went back there, I just couldn't help myself, it was like something was controlling my actions .... :laugh:



Found Footage 3D (2016, Steven Degennaro)

Slightly meta this time. Slightly. Guess what happens when a cynical director decides to film in an actually haunted house? Some fun with this one, what with the self aware dialogue, so you could treat it like a comedy if you wanted.

Total Recall (1990)

Great sci if action film - wonderfully over the top, sometimes a bit silly, and although it wasn’t the most memorable of Arnie’s films it kept me glued to the screen till the end. I’m a big fan of cheesy one liners in action movies and I think, for me, it might have been let down a bit by the lack of them. There’s actually one scene where I bet Arnie could have perfectly delivered the line “Let me give you a hand” and it would have gone done in history.

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Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)

Only Lovers Left Awake!

I was really liking this glacially cool and rather rock n' roll tale of ancient vampires but the hypnotic guitar music put me to sleep.

Definitely not one to revisit last thing at night.

I've seen Only Lovers Left Alive a couple of times and think it's a great film. I can't remember the score or ever feeling tired; it's been quite a long time since I saw it last.

It's similar to something Ry Cooder might come up with but incredibly hypnotic.

I should start it earlier than half past midnight next time.

I'm usually sound asleep by then! :lol:

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A family have to retreat to their lake house after the mother accidentally kills a maintenance man thinking he was the man who has been stalker her for a year. But they cant hide for long in this small community that has its fair share of weirdos.

Im all for low budget independent films ans giving them a fair chance but this one was a real effort to get through and what makes it worse is thats its only 60 minutes long. Im no looker but the mother in this is not a looker herself but all her sons friends and every man who catches a glimpse of her is instantly in love talking like she is the hottest woman on earth even people who ha e only spoken to her on the phone :lol:. Every single character acts overly crazy and weird trying to throw you off the sent of the killer but instead of you trying to work out the twist it just becomes grating.

Avoid

2/10

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While the US military are hard at work in Vietnam they set about rescuing the last few POWs before they leave for the states. With the promise of $2 million im gold the army recruit a few Hells Angels that have showed up in town to drive to the location and pick up the goods and get out the POWs everyone is a winner.

The plot is absolutely ridiculous but it was actually a fun film with plenty of high speed bike action a pinch of death and topped off with a healthy dose of explosions. The acting is pretty dire but who care with so mich craziness going on and the best part was the main bad guy was none other than Vernon Wells sporting one of the worst skull and cross bones patch i have ever seen on his shirt sleeve :lol:

5/10

Brawl in Cell Block 99. 2017.

A former boxer turned drugs runner ends up in prison after the last haul went wrong. He is given a choice kill another prisoner of have parts of his unborn baby delivered to him.

Vince Vaughn takes a step back from his comedy element and plays a no nonsense guy, who can take a car apart with his hands and is able to take a beaten. Udo Kier stars as the calm straight talking go between guy who gives Vince a offer. Don Johnston plays the warden of the maximum prison who has his own method of sadistic punishment.

I didn't expect much from this film at it sounded like one man taking on the whole prison but I was wrong, the fight scenes are well choreographed, the dialogue between the actors is a bit slow and stop at times, the killings are really believable but you go with what you can, worth a watch.

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Cool poster though.

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A serial killer is terrorising the people of LA video taping his murders and selling the tapes to an underground pervert organisation. When cop Dak Smith tries go pull him over in a routine traffic stop the Video Stalker shots him and flees the scene but in the shoot out Dak accidentally kills the woman hostage. The video stalker is not happen that his victim was taken away from him and it becomes personal between him and Dak and his new partner Kristen.

With a cast boasting Fred Williamson Cynthia Rothrock and Robert Forster at least there was some decent acting on show but most of it was just plain laughable. Hey baby ever play the flute what about the trombone what about the slide trombone SMOOOOOTH operator i tell you :lol: just some of the highlights of the terrible dialogue. Cynthia Rothrock only gets a few scenes to show of her ass kicking skills the rest of the time she is trying to look after Dak and keep him from dying on the job or drinking himself to death. Its pretty run of the mill stuff the reluctant partners who get close and the mole in the force stabbing everyone in the back but it has a certain charm that kept me entertained.

If you like cheesy bad cop movies check it out.

5/10

Check this guy out how ya diddling its been awhile ;)

It was the poster that made me watch it but it lied like black lesbians in blackcurrant jam and the furry honey pot adventure. :lol:

Haha!

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A womanizing hard drinking cop who never follows the rules is lumped with a new female partner to help him track down a killer who is exclusively targeting cops.

More run of the mill cop action partners from different walks of life coming together to make a great team and angry police captain the police commissioner always on his back to keep Kapinski in line you know the usual KAPINSKI MY OFFICE NOOOOOOOOOOW ONE MORE MISTAKE AND YOUR OF THE FORCE DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR sort of deal :lol:. Bad acting and bad dialogue but i still had fun with it there were some awkward sexual tension scenes between Kapinski and his lesbian partner that were totally pointless and when absolutely nowhere but i guess it was funny non the less :lol:

5/10

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An ex captain of an old cargo ship that blew up and sank and the head of security of the American embassy become friends in the Bahamas but both men are keeping something from their past from each other. But its blown wide open when the captain stops a bank robbery and he come becomes a local celebrity but with this exposure his past comes back to haunt him and he must must turn to his friend to keep him alive.

Im a big fan of George C Scott and William Peterson but this was a way below them with a pretty simple story it just seemed to drag on and at times it felt like it was just meandering to fill up the run time. Dont get me wrong they both put in a good performance but the dialogue is pretty weak so they really didn't have much the work with but then again when Alexi Sayle is the main bad guy you know something ain't right.

I cant recommend this one at all honestly avoid.

3/10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VanCRj8eI9o

This time the contestants and crew of a survival reality show are on the menu for the hillbilly cannibals .

Henry Rollins plays a cut price Rambo. I actually enjoyed this a little more than the first and it was a tad more gory. 7.2/10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEddajy9BBM

This time the survivors of a rafting expeditions and a bunch of convicts are the lunch time special. By far the weakest of the three for me , at least in the others some of the characters are likable , not here. 4.6/10

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Silk is a tough cop in Honolulu she is the most valuable member of the force single handedly keeping crime down in the area. On a routine drug bust she uncovers and international smuggling operation of illegal immigrants.

To be honest i was expecting Silk to be a lot more bad ass than she actually was her first couple of scenes she us scaling a building to attack the criminals from the air the next she is jumping in a high speed train and exploding cars but from then on she is just a normal cop and almost relying on the cops around her when i watch a kick ass lady in a film its less bad ass if she need s men so its a little disappointing and misleading.

Not a bad film the usual bad dialogue and bad acting but the action and gun fights were entertaining. But my problem with a lot of these films there is a ton of messing about and when the uncover what the bad guys are up to its solved within a few minutes and thats it the film is over. Still its a bit of fun.

5/10

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Three loose cannon cops are hand picked to bring down a violent drugs ring but little do they know its a set up. The drugs king pin wants revenge on the three cops for killing his brother a killing they didn't even know they committed. When the drug bust goes tits up they are blamed for killing nine innocent people in a nightclub including a few cops. Now not only do they have a drug gang after them but every cop in the city wants them dead. Clearing their names won't be easy but they still have a few friends left.

There was a few familiar faces here like John Saxon and Maxwell Caufield so not completely filled with no name actors. Its will be no surprise that bad dialogue is the order of the day but this had a lot stronger acting so the bad dialogue was delivered much better. Once again the same plot as usual someone high up in the department is pulling the strings in the drug gang but it's more than obvious who it is after about ten minutes which was a shame. All that a side it was entertaining and enjoyable.

5/10

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Wade Olsen is a biker cop on the trail of Reaper and escaped convict and leader of a biker gang heading into the desert to dig up a treasure of gold and their own land they can run themselves and make their own laws. Olsen teams up with The Rain Maker an old associate of Reaper a sort of shaman and medicine man looking to settle a score.

Bikes ,guns ,gold ,bikini babes and more hot babes out on a archaeological dig its all about the babes with this one :lol:. I would of preferred a more faster pace there are too many filler spots that dragged a little killing the momentum. The main actors are good its the goons that cant act for shit and when i first saw the rain maker i thought holy shit Kenny Rodgers is in town shits about to get real but low and behold it was just starts in your eyes semi finalist 1993 Kenny Rodgers i guess Blackpool chewed him up and spat him out and he ended up making cheap films instead.

Apart from a few low sections it was a decent trip through a beautiful desert setting with some amazing looking bikes. Just hearing those Harley engines rumble through the canyons heaven :loveeyes:

5/10