I can't remember much about it, it's been years. But I seem to recall The Enfield Haunting being good.

Sent from my SM-G780G using Tapatalk

Federal Protection (2002)

An enjoyable crime thriller with oodles of black comedy in which Armand Assante plays a car thief for the mob in federal protection in the suburbs when he becomes friends with super cute neighbour Angela Featherstone. Assante's secret identity is soon out of the bag when Featherstone's sister (Dina Meyer) who is having an affair with Featherstone's husband decides to shop him in so she can pick up the million dollar reward from the mob.

An easy to watch film from Hellraiser III director Anthony Hickox. It's not as convoluted as i've probably made it sound. Characters and acting are good and it goes at a fair rate of knots. There are one or two great set pieces and some bloody kills performed with some flair and it's worth the price of admission alone to see Meyer donned out in fetish wear kill a mob hitman (Also Hickox) by sticking the heel of her kinky boot through his forehead.

I think I did jump more at this than I did with The Conjuring 2 :lol:

It might have been me that recommended it, especially over that murican nonsense :nod::pop2:

I digress.


Dark Horse (2011, Todd Solondoz)

Finally got my hands on this one. Somewhat less bombastic than some of his others, this still packs a punch. Am overgrown manchild thinks he's found the answer to his problems. Sounds thrilling? Whatever. He retreats into a fantasy during moments of stress, which is great cinema, but on a personal level he is spiralling out of control. It's not Bergman, but the demon did have something in his eye at the end ahem.



The Devastator (1986, Cirio H. Santiago)

An assured outing from the Fillipino San Firstenberg. When his mate is killed by unscrupulous drug dealers, what's a man to do but shoot lots of henchmen?? Some interesting locations lift this from the second tier mire. Otherwise tis business as usual.

The Wretched (2019)

A lad in his late teens goes to live with his father and work in the local marina. He slowly experiences weird phenomena as he comes to realise a witch is inhabiting the skin of his next door neighbour.

An interesting premise which mixes witchcraft and folk horror with modern day life but it's clumsily executed. There's way too much family drama and teen angst, in fact it's more like a high school movie than a horror for the bulk of it's running time. The characters are decently sketched and John-Paul Howard is a likable enough lead but for an hour you could easily forget what type of film you were watching.

When it does go full blown horror it's quietly effective. There are some fine creepy moments and fun practical special effects such as the witch climbing out of the neighbour's body, but the horror then feels a bit rushed compared to the languid pace of the first hour. My main grumble is the film lacked any sort of tension or a sense of dread. Had it done so then i'd have scored this quite highly rather than just simply average, but i did find it much more engaging than the majority of recent supernatural horror films.

MICROWAVE MASSACRE – Looking back, some films must just seem like such awful mistakes. This one’s so awful it’s almost scarring to watch. MM is an utterly confusing mixture of mild sleaze, abysmal gags and bad, bad décor. It’s about a schmuck who’s so fed up with his stagnant marriage he takes the only option left to him – cannibalism, apparently. Absolutely nothing about it works, from the mannequin gore to the stillborn humour. There’s so little understanding of the human psyche on display that you’d be forgiven for wondering whether some kind of primitive AI was involved, only this was made in 1983, the product of flesh without brains attempting to simulate comedy and coming up with stilted weirdness. Before you roll your eyes and moan “I bet now he’s going to say ‘and that makes it so off-kilter it’s just f@cking amazing’” – well, no, but it is kind of mesmerising. I’d rather watch a film where someone randomly decides to do some gardening with a dildo than whatever ends up as “passable for Netflix” these days. Very strange to see Jackie Vernon in it

Got to be honest. This didn't stay in my Blu-ray collection for very long. :lol:

If we're being honest, I have to admit that I thought about buying said blu after I streamed. I still haven't fully committed to the sane option.

I wouldn't worry. I think you're insane anyway.

In that off-kilter, mesmerising, f@cking amazing way of yours. :lol:

True, just the fact that I made it to the end of 'Microwave Massacre' probably tells you all you need to know about my mental state...

I never thought of it like that.

I'm so sorry.

... cue the sound of maniacal laughter over a badly played harpsichord!

Well you got it for that reply anyway. A genuine laugh at your comment. :lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9Q4zZS2v1k&t=4s

It was better than Annabel comes home but that's about it , it was a interesting enough idea but was poorly executed with few genuine scares.

Now watching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiTQBGGiAa8

Ocean's 8

A all female team lead by Sandra Bullock attempt to steal a valuable Necklace. Co-Starring Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter and Rhianna amongst others. Having it so that it's Danny's Sister has some continuity with the other Ocean's Films and it's not bad.

There is a rather significant plot point which may come into play should there be more Ocean Films.

Wakaliwood Supa Action: Volume 1

Yes I took the plunge, this is the Ugandan Cinema release from 101 Films and AGFA and TBH, I don't know how to judge this as it was severely low budget but they give it everything but the cost of the Blu-Ray was the same as a Blockbuster release such as Top Gun: Maverick, so should I hold it to the same standards?

I watched Who Killed Captain Alex? and it was rather enjoyable, decent Action scenes and some good Martial Arts. The F/X is like Birdemic standards but it's part of the charm.

I think that the talking point would be the use of a VJ talking all over the Film, TBH, he was funny in places but annoying in others.

I tried watching Bad Black straight afterwards but couldn't get into it. It's possible that watching them back to back isn't a good idea and it's best to watch them separately.

On the Blu-Ray, there are Trailers for other Wakaliwood Films and as this was Volume 1, then these could be next. There were a couple of Cannibal Films, which didn't look too bad, all things considering. Chances are, they are better than the Eurocine Cannibal Films.

I would compare it to Troma Films.

Rocky Balboa

The end of this particular part of the Franchise sees Rocky V never existed and he is retired and running a Restaurant. But after a Computer Simulation sees him beating the reigning Heavyweight Champion, he comes out of retirement to face him for real.

When I first saw this, I really enjoyed it and repeated viewings had me getting bored until the Boxing aspects were on. The montage scene of him training whilst Gonna Fly Now was on is still amazing and I loved that the main Fight had the actual HBO Graphics.

I thought this was better than the two sequels to the original remake.

I didn't enjoy this one much. But I didn't like the sequels to the original much either. I suppose it's marginally better than Oceans 12.

Sent from my SM-G780G using Tapatalk

Infinity Pool (2022, Brandon Cronenberg)

Or what we did on our holidays :pound:
Meeting people abroad is half the fun .... no?
This might need a rewatch (and some drink :lol:) as I felt that I had sort of seen this sort of carry on before. Shame. Visually, it's stunningly disorientating in places, but the actual story .... still, Mia Goth goes for it again and it doesn't drag. Hmmmm.



I watched two trailers, Fast X (:pound::pound::pound:) and Skinamarink ... wow, I could see what was going on, so I rewatch is imminent. :rolleyes::nod:

Mulholland Drive. 2001.

David Lynch has a weird unique way of making films, don't believe me check out Eraserhead, This was a blind watch for me and to be honest this was another film that should have been watched long ago before now. The interpretation seems to be like watching someone else's nightmarish dream, yes it did get a bit confusing then managed to understand it fully. Naomi Harris and and Laura Harring are the two main female leads and their acting in this is superb and knew how to create a lot of energy with their characters. This may not be for everyone's taste buds but certainly worth a glance.

Attachment 244737

Haunted Honeymoon. 1986.

Gene Wilder stars and directs this little comedy caper that spoofs the old 1940s Dark House horror films, here he is a radio actor along with his fiance Gilda Radner (in her last film) who travel to the old family Gothic style mansion for their wedding and the family intend to scare them while the family aunt Dom DeLuise believes one of the family to be a werewolf. Paul L Smith plays the Uncle and psychiatrist and he did creep me the F@?K out when I saw this back in the day along with magician Jim Carter and his glowing eyes. Jonathan Pryce plays the almost broke cousin and Peter Vaughn as the family lawyer and brother. The film did get some criticism when it was first released and the jokes are a bit outdated but can still bring a laugh.

Attachment 244739

BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS – I bet fans getting into horror for the first time these days can’t believe what they used to get away with. Not much orgy or blood in evidence, but some shes, some arguable devils and plenty of sheer f@cking awfulness. I’m still into it. The lingo is seventies but the syntax is pure stilted fifties B movie; a bad film and no mistake, however look beyond the cheap laughs and there’s a weird atmosphere oozing through, quite gothicy and shadowy, and all the hippie-era trappings, dated grooviness but also proper tripped out electronics. From back-alley auteur Ted V Mikels.

IMPETIGORE – A woman travels to the village of her childhood to uncover the truth behind a family curse – she finds skinless babies and more. A good movie that doesn’t fully come off; director Joko Anwar knows how to do atmosphere and floods the proceedings with eerie but enticing visuals, but, and I’m simply joining in with the chorus here, there are too many expository wrong turns that bog it down in the latter half (and in my opinion quite a screechy ending – nothing kills mystery like melodrama). Don’t quite get the adulation from some quarters, but worth checking out all the same.

Deadgirls (1990, Dennis Devine)

Him again. Lawdy. The audio is all over the place, which just added to the fun.
Rock band retire to an isolated spot for a spot of R 'n' R ... I'll get me cloak ... :rolleyes::lol:
Some fun here, with some jarring edits and poor story structure going into the mix. Is an avid fan stalking them? Could it be a disgruntled relative? Strap in to find out ....
For my sins I was quite taken with some of their songs :lol:, remember how I drooled over Doom Asylum?
I digress. The last 20 minutes contained ... something interesting certainly. Lawdy.



Plane (2022, Jean-Francois Richet)

Buuuutler in decent film shocker.
When a commercial airliner is forced to land after a storm, checking how many water bottles they have is the least of their problems. The little bit of woke was noticeable ahem.
Yes, I'd recommend this, it didn't drag (really) and the stunts were fun. :nod::pop2:

Deep Blue Sea. 1999.

Back in the 80s we got Jaws 3 that was set underwater in a aquatic facility for tourists with some of the not so great effects, Renny Harlin gave us this little feature set under the water this time a research facility with 3 sharks that have had their senses heightened. Im not a fan of Saffron Burrows and how she managed to survive near to the end is amazing. LL Cool J is the chef with the cheeky mouth parrot. Thomas Jane is the shark wrangler who seems to have a connection with the sharks when they aren't attacking. Samuel L Jackson is the millionaire rich adventurer guy who managed to give us one of those unexpected death scenes. The effects haven't aged well but still a bit effective and entertaining.

Attachment 244768

I don't think I've watched Deep Blue Sea since it came out, I've had the dvd since release pretty much.

Sent from my SM-G780G using Tapatalk

It is worth a glance i got part 2 and 3 to watch at some point

Two's not great at all but i found three to be an entertaining ride.

I remember enjoying the first one greatly. Just never gone back to it for some reason.

Sent from my SM-G780G using Tapatalk

Lighthouse (1999)

The survivors of a prison boat shipwreck think they are saved when they find a small island lighthouse off the Cornish coast. However when they discover a psychotic killer who beheads his victims also got off the stricken boat they are in for a night of terror.

Shot totally at night Lighthouse is really nothing you won't have seen before in films like 1972's Tower of Evil, however it is thoroughly enjoyable and really rather gripping.

There's a nice fog shrouded atmosphere and it's performed by a good cast including James Purefoy, Paul Brooke, Don Warrington, the very creepy Christopher Adamson and the unknown to me but very good Rachel Shelley who as a prison doctor has to put up with a lot of shit.

Simon Hunter's direction is accomplished and there are three terrific suspense sequences among the arterial splatter which had me on the edge of my seat.

Lighthouse is a fine British slasher that has sadly been neglected in the twenty years since it's dvd release and is crying out for HD treatment.

Deep Blue Sea 2. 2018.

Another underwater shark testing facility but not with three sharks but five, a idiotic billionaire who thinks he should be up there with Darwin. A group of researchers who know they will get their asses chewed off and a somewhat added extra of a shark that may be pregnant. The first gave us a unexpected death but here they tried to recreate one and you can see it coming.

The first film gave us a reason for the research, finding a cure for Alzheimer's disease but this one I must have missed what the research is, i must have blew my nose at the time they were explaining it. Is this a sequel or a poor man's remake...I got no idea but this started well and then went south quickly. It's on the now I have seen it that's it list for me.

Attachment 244781

I forgot to mention Paul Hyett, who went on to direct the excellent British horror films The Seasoning House (2012) and Howl (2015) was the make up and special effects designer for Lighthouse. He also did the same for Neil Marshall on The Descent (2005)

I haven't see this in years Dem. Not since it came out on vhs. In fact I'd forgotten its existence. You've intrigued me to track a copy down.

Sent from my SM-G780G using Tapatalk

It'll probably cost you a quid from Cex.

No, just looked. £1.50. Not sure where in Wales you live. They have a copy in Cardiff St David's. One of only five in the whole UK of Cex's apparently.

Maybe Music Magpie is your best bet or an Amazon or Ebay seller.

Deep Blue Sea 3. 2020.

This one carries on just after where the second film ends, there is no under the sea facility so this went in a different direction with marine biologist researching how climate change can effect the sea life including blood thirsty Bull Sharks. This is by no means better than the first but certainly better than two, my only gripes with this that the acting wasn't that spectacular and can be wooden and there is a bit too much talking but there is some good effects on the kills when they happen.

Attachment 244782

Violent Night. A disillusioned Santa Claus goes all Bruce Willis on the asses of some violent criminals who attack a rich family on Christmas Eve while he's bringing some presents. This 2022 comic action Xmas flick has its moments but is way too long and ultimately pretty mediocre and forgettable.

Well that's a great shame to read. I'm really looking forward to seeing this.

Sent from my SM-G780G using Tapatalk

VICIOUS FUN – Horror dweeb Evan Marsh ends up gate-crashing a very niche support group; will stabby Amber Goldfarb turn out to be friend or foe? VF is another contemporary flick in love with the eighties (it’s even set in 1983, one year short of that most eighties of years, 1984). It goes for the ‘neon and synth’ look paraded by many of its ilk, but unlike all those movies that follow in the footsteps of Winding Refn’s parody of Mann, it tones down the AV tropes and actually looks a bit like something that might’ve been shot around the time. Enjoyable enough, but I would’ve liked to have seen a meaner, snarlier, more serious take on the whole ‘gang of killers’ thing, because it does flag at times and isn’t all that funny. Worth a go, though.

APARTMENT 1BR – Or ‘1BR’ as it’s known in the states. A nice little find on Prime, 1BR brings home dark truths about flat hunting in LA. Most apartment house horror goes for the theme of isolation, but 1BR is quite interesting in that it’s all about the madness of groupthink and neighbours who are all too keen to welcome you into their little fascist Babylon. I really enjoyed it, it’s very lean, has good momentum, and there’s a level of nastiness although it’s not a splatter flick by any stretch. Its beats are familiar but well-played, and it’s not trying to pull off a big aesthetic ‘wow’ although a subtle stylisation captures the feel of a sunny, airy nightmare. It reminded me, a little, of the kind of social horror flick someone like Larry Cohen might’ve done in the seventies and eighties, there’s that kind of snarkiness and paranoia about authority and conformity. Well worth a punt imo.

THE LAIR – Another Shudder. This one’s by the director of ‘Dog Soldiers’ (everyone’s fave apart from mine, apparently) and the ‘The Descent’ (still very good after all these years). Since both of those tend to be venerated I have a feeling that many will go into ‘The Lair’ with quite high expectations, which isn’t a good idea as it’s not on a level with either. It is, however, a serviceable monster shoot-‘em up with a nice amount of splatter and the kind of attitude that’s just pure B-movie pulp (comes through most clearly in the performances, which are quite amusing). Oh, and we get to find out the truth behind the Soviet-Afghan conflict, so who can say that shite horror sci-fi schlock always skimps when it comes the socio-political nitty gritty? I didn’t expect the real reason for all that war an shit to be about experiments on aliens, though. Worth a shot if you’re up for a bit of bang bang splat, but please leave your contempt for flagrant historical revisionism at the door.

Another new Marshall one i saw several months back called The Reckoning was certainly a step down from his earlier directing efforts. After the failure of Hellboy it doesn't seem like he's getting the budgets anymore. I still enjoyed it though.

Hulk. 2003.

Ang Lee's take on the Marvel character of the scientist who you don't want to upset. Eric Bana plays the scientist Bruce Banner who is exposed to gamma radiation and turns green and grows when angered. Jennifer Connolly plays the co worker and somewhat old love interest and Josh Lucas as the NSA agent who's face you want to punch, in the tv series Mr McGee was the guy you really wanted to hit now it's Talbot.

This is a different take from the tv series I'm sure we have all seen but it was interesting how it all started and what the gamma exposure woke up the dorment cells in the human body of Banner. Aside from having a good star cast with Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte popping up as the old enemies, the effects and CGI are not the best combination for this feature with a mix of making it look like a comic, I still laughed at Talbot's death :lol:

Attachment 244788

Eliminators. 2016.

Nice little B movie action film with Scott Adkins as a widower and single parent who kills 3 home invaders and news about this makes him a target for James Cosmo and sends Wade Barrett after him in a game of cat and mouse. The acting is decent yet Wade should stick to wrestling, but manages to pull off a decent fight towards the end in a barn. This was a enjoyable Saturday night action flick.

Attachment 244789

The Devil Commands. Edward Dmytryk. 1941.

More Karloff. The fourth of Columbia Pictures barmy boffin series. This time Boris plays Dr.Julian Blair, a kindly somewhat absent minded doc who is researching human brainwaves. When tragedy strikes the good doctor becomes obsessed with attempting to breach the barrier between life and death.
Sadly this was a disappointing effort, even Karloff seems to struggle to do much with this, he seemed bored. I'm not sure if perhaps the producers also felt the cycle was wearing thin but everything but the kitchen sink seems to get thrown at the screen in this one. The mad scientist, the laboratory, an Ygor character in the form of Ralph Penny's brain-damaged brute Karl, the gothic clifftop mansion, perpetual downpours, pitchfork waving villagers. Yet none of it really came together I felt. A shame, Karloff is still good, or at least does nothing wrong. His character becomes more despondent and defeated as the film goes along and it felt like Karloff was feeling that way himself. Maybe it's just what I got from this one though.
Far from a bad film, simply sub-par for the great man.
Attachment 244790