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Old 26th February 2008, 04:54 PM
Almar@Cult Labs's Avatar
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Default Win Night Train Murders!

Right I've stopped being miserable and due to the steady stream of new folks coming to the site it's time to re-instate the competitions. Or put it this way I finally remembered it was time for another one.

I've decided to jump ahead to the current release of Night Train Murders. I'll revisit those missed out in the coming months.

Super simple comp this time. Tell us your worst ever transportation story. If it occurred on the train all the better but any mode will work. The three best entries (as in those journeys that sound worse than the Night Train Murders excursion... ok nothing needs be that bad!) win a copy of the DVD.

This competition will close 12pm GMT Sunday 16th March 2008, three winners will be selected to win one copy of Night Train Murders each and my decision is final (as in if you miss the prize train you're walking!)

Last edited by Stefan@Cult Labs; 26th February 2008 at 07:59 PM.
Old 26th February 2008, 06:02 PM
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Well, my journey into oblivion actually DID occur on a train. It wasn't a nightmare journey involving the terrors of British Rail sandwiches (one snarled at me once) or Virgin coffee (I swear I once found traces of a coffee bean in one but it may have been a furball) - but it was my genuine experience involving the wonders of Egypt.

Ah yes. Egypt. Land of sphinxes and pyramids. The Valley of the Kings. Camels that emit vile odours from both ends (sometimes simultaneously) - and the owners of perhaps the most eccentric train system. In the world. Ever.

I booked a sleeper from Cairo to Luxor back in March 1989 during my month stay. It sounded so exotic. Travelling under the night sky through barren landscapes before arriving in the former Thebes. Well....... it wasn't quite like that.....

Booking The Ticket
An easy job. Supposedly. It took nearly half an hour and most of that was taken up with my telling the ticket seller the difference between north (Alexandria) and my preferred destination south (Luxor). 2 mint teas (and 4) later it was booked and due to leave at 8 PM that evening (journey estimate: 9 hours).
Finding The Compartment
Actually this was easier and only took around 15 mins. Mainly due to my ability to read Arabic numbers. I'd used the toilet before getting onboard. Just in case I had to use it again. The train left on time sort of (at 9.48 PM) and I looked forward to a quick read and a sleep.
A Quick Read & A Sleep
Oh dear I'm afraid not. Light didn't work. Bunk resembled something not of this earth. Noises from corridor were extra terrestrial (and remained so - all frigging night). Kept having torch shone into my face by a berk of an attendant who was helpfully making sure I slept well. Air conditioning worked at intervals (20 mins at a time and then breakdown). Train sped along at an earth-shattering 18 MPH.
The Toilet
Yes I had to use it. I remain traumatised to this day and refuse to discuss it. Even under hypnosis.
On Arrival
The 9 hour journey took nearly 14. I arrived at midday and was informed by my mate and his fiancee at the station that Luxor was experiencing a mild heatwave and the temperature was a healthy (for mummies) 129 degrees. I then went to the Emilio Hotel - and wailed piteously.

Give me a ride on the Night Train ANY time.........

Last edited by vincenzo; 26th February 2008 at 10:24 PM.
Old 26th February 2008, 07:58 PM
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Ahaha, brilliant! Especially the attendant
Old 27th February 2008, 08:27 PM
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Sounds like it should be a Shameless title!!
Old 27th February 2008, 08:47 PM
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Coming back from a CELTIC vs Rangers cup final where Cletic won 1-0 in 1989.
Now I don't bother my arse too much about colours,but my mates are celtic fans and had a spare ticket.
On the way back,the idiot of a bus driver decided to take a shortcut through an area where a pub called the Louden Tavern was situated....where an orange walk had just finished!
When a bus full of green pulled up at the traffic lights and the wasteland next to the pub had plenty ammo of rubble and bricks....well it was time to take cover!
Every window in the bus was smashed and females were screaming at the clown of a driver to DRIVE! as 100 odd infuriated orangemen tried to board the bus!
A fter stopping and reporting the incident at the Blackhill copshop,we drove back to our town with state of the art air conditioning
Funny now,but a tad scary when caught in the middle and outnumbered 6-1
Never went to a cup final again
Old 28th February 2008, 02:08 PM
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I've already got my copy of Night Train Murders so I'm just entering for the fun of it!

As a dedicated pedestrian and public transport patron I have literally millions of horrific tales.

The worst one, however, is incredibly simple. One day I was travelling into Liverpool city centre to go to a lecture. I knew in advance that the trains were off due to engineering work so I decided to get the bus. I get on, flash my student pass, sit down and get my book out - so far, so good.

Two stops later, a man gets on and sits behind me. Everything was OK for about five seconds. Then I began to smell it. It can only be described as the smell of someone who does not understand the use of showers, washing machines and toilet paper. Worse still, it was a hot day and traffic was heavy. Even with all the windows open the smell was unavoidable. It even stayed after he had gotten off.

The moral of the story?

Don't sit by me on a bus or I'll go on the Internet and tell everyone that you smell!
Old 28th February 2008, 03:02 PM
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Okay, let's see: 8 years ago when I was just returning to Southern Finland from my interview at my soon-to-be filmschool far up north, I managed to catch the WRONG train to Helsinki central station when it was time to switch trains.
I finally got there rather late to catch the last local train to the place where I stayed and worked in that summer.
2 girls had explained me where my train was due to leave - in fairly broken Englsih.
Back then, my Finnish skills were basically zero, the train was old and the announcements went under in all the surrounding noise.
When I didn't get the name of the next station and the strange guy sitting next to me mumbled a name which sounded pretty similar to the name of the station where I was supposed to get off I was suddenly in a hurry, because the train was about to leave said station.
Stupid lunatic that I was back then, I JUMPED out of the train, which had already started to roll.
Everything looked alright...except for that it WASN'T the station where I was supposed to leave off, I had forgotten my luggage INSIDE the train AND I had just left the very last passing train for the day!!!!!
Realising my mistake and seeing the train's lights vanishing in the dark I knew I had to spent the whole night on a station in the middle of nowhere...and though SOMEBODY must have gotten into the station's building while I was semi-asleep, nobody responded when I knocked against the door
I had no choice but to wait for the very first train to take me out of there back to Helsinki to get on the right route.
In the early hours of the next morning, it finally arrived.
Luckily I found somebody from the staff, who explained me that I would have to switch trains yet again to get to the central station....which I did...but history was about to repeat itself, because I caught- you guessed it! - the wrong train, had to get off yet again and after hours, I was actually sitting in a train, which took me directly to Helsinki, from which only made ONE further ill judged choice of surely due to total exhaustion.
My last mistake took yet another couple of hours, but I finally, finally got on the right train when I returned to Helsinki central station for the 3rd. time in 24 hours.
My last energy resources went into my ears , so that I would catch the RIGHT name of the station to get out....and this time I suceeded!

Half a day's sleep later I dared to take a train to Helsinki to fetch my luggage, which had been luckily recovered. This time, everythuing went just fine.

Last edited by Peter Neal; 28th February 2008 at 03:06 PM.
Old 3rd March 2008, 04:35 PM
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Hi Guys .... It's great to join the forum

I used to catch the same bus into town every day for years. It was a long journey (about 1 hour each way) and of course, one would get very tired .. and potential nod off to sleep ... more of that later.

There was this young lady who used to get on the bus as few stops after I had joined it. I found her incredibly attractive and as the weeks and months passed by, I thought I would talk to her and hopefully get to know her a little better and if possible ask her out. It got to a stage where we would smile at each other when she got on, which gave me a little more confidence to pluck courage up to speak to her. Anyway, this one particular Monday morning arrived and the bus had filled up quite quickly. I managed to get a seat next to the window, but I was shattered because I had spent the weekend on the tiles so to speak. It was only the strong morning coffee that was keeping me awake! The bus eventually reached the girl's stop and she got on as normal - I hadn't noticed but the only seat left was the one beside me which she sat in smiled at me and said "hi", to which I garbled "hi" back in some nervous manner. Anyway, I was thinking what I could say to her to break the ice, but by now the effects of the caffeine were wearing off and it wasn't long before I slipped into a slumber. The next thing I knew we were at the terminus and the bus was emptying quickly. Some guy behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said "hey mate, we are in town, you had better wake up and get off" to which I thanked him. Upon walking down the bus, some old lady said to me "your friend, the girl; she got off first. I gave her my hanky because you had fallen asleep with your head on her shoulder and were slavvering all down her. She said she didn't want to wake you!"

Unsurprisingly, I caught and earlier bus in future and hoped the girl wouldn't get on!
Old 3rd March 2008, 04:51 PM
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Hey Sargento - welcome to the forums and do let us know what you'd like to see coming out of Shameless.

As for the girl I'm sure she's been catching busses ever since in the hope of catching you on board again!

Great stories everyone - it really can suck to travel huh? Maybe we should ditch DVDs and set up a Shameless train, bus and airline service. The in-flight entertainment should be good
Old 3rd March 2008, 08:30 PM
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Some years ago now ... I am scarred by the experience. So much so I feel like one of the jaded, confused killers in those movies.

Oh heck!
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