WIN JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES DUAL FORMAT!

[Deadite]

I would like to be a vampire because...

i have no stake in this competition.

[Susan Foreman]

Another reason not to be a vampire

Nocturnal wanderings

Have you ever walked around Portsmouth, Basingstoke, Purley, Birmingham or Nottingham after dark? Let me tell you, there are some strange people around!

[lexxicon]

...a poem for you....

Vampires are cute
Vampires are fluffy
Vampires have little feet
...oh no wait!
Sorry!
Thats KITTENS.

[nosferatu42]

I would like to be a vampire because ~

....i could star in Jean Rollin films and be surrounded by sexy nude vampire women.


....i could use my powers of suggestion to get the women, and it wouldn’t just be me doing all the sucking.


....Blood must be good for dental hygiene,
You never see a vampire with a dodgy set of false teeth.


....They are shape shifters so you could make parts of you bigger at will, no wonder they get the girls.


....I wear a lot of black anyway and stay up late a lot, so at least i’d have an excuse.

[nosferatu42]

I'd hate to be a vampire because~


.... the children of the night don’t make real music, just a bloody racket.


....the sun is good for mental health, living in the dark all the time no wonder vampires are miserable bastards.


.... you wouldn’t want to sleep in a coffin if you get claustrophobia.


.... i’m epileptic, so would suffer terrible coffin fits.


.... everybody would call you a batty boy.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by nosferatu42

I'd hate to be a vampire because~


.... the children of the night don’t make real music, just a bloody racket.

[gag]

Because

I could kill someone i dont like and get away with murder because its in my blood

Think how much money you could earn being a blood donor everytime you kill someone

Im already a night owl so im really
nyctophilia
a love or preference for night, darkness
A preference for the night or darkness. Also called scotophilia.

Also being called weird would be a compliment and not a insult.

You could get more things done at night less people, less traffic so less distraction.

[Susan Foreman]

Originally Posted by nosferatu42

I would like to be a vampire because ~

....i could star in Jean Rollin films and be surrounded by sexy nude vampire women.

....i could use my powers of suggestion to get the women, and it wouldn’t just be me doing all the sucking.

....They are shape shifters so you could make parts of you bigger at will, no wonder they get the girls.:cool

Um...vampire...Undead...no heartbeat...no flowing blood...no blood pressure...no erection - impotent

[nosferatu42]

Originally Posted by Susan Foreman

Um...vampire...Undead...no heartbeat...no flowing blood...no blood pressure...no erection - impotent

Oh well, could always figure something out, doesn't mean you can't look or touch.
Doesn't seem to stop a lot of on screen vampires, (ahem, Gary Oldman shagging as a man-beast)

Actually thinking along those lines and Virgin blood.

I'd hate to be a vampire because~

If you had sex with your victim beforehand you'd ruin your dinner.

[The Reaper Man@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by gag

Whats a vampire fav song and group.

Transvision vamp
Fangs can only get better
Bat out of hell
Vampire weekend
Alice Cooper: I love the dead
Pearl Jam: Blood
Prague Philharmonic Orchestra: Dracula Has Risen From The Grave
Radiohead: We Suck Young Blood
Rob Zombie:
Rocket From The Crypt: I Drink Blood
Scientist: Dance of the Vampire
Sebadoh: Vampire
Signs of Chaos: Vampires & Robots
Smashing Pumpkins: We Only Come Out At Night

Vampire Jokes


Q: How does a female vampire flirt?
A: She bats her eyes!

Q: What’s a Vampire’s least favorite song?
A: Another one bites the dust!

Q: What’s a Spanish vampire’s favourite dance?
A: The fangdango!


Q: How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire?
A: So long sucker!


Q: What happens when two vampires meet?
A: It was love at first bite!

Q: Why are vampires like false teeth?
A: They all come out at night!

Q: What is a vampire’s favourite drink?
A: A Bloody Mary!

Q: Why are vampires easily fooled?
A: Because they are born suckers.

Q: Why did the vampire telephone the undertaker?
A: To see if there was any new take-away meals available!!

Q: Why did the vampire fall in love with his neighbour?
A: Because she was the ghoul necks door!!

Q: What does a vampire take for a bad cold?
A: Coffin drops!

Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite cartoon character?
A: Batman!

Q: Why do vampires eat in homeless shelters?
A: They can eat for necks to nothing in them!

Q: Which flavor of ice cream is Dracula’s favorite?
A: Vein-illa! Of course!!

Q: What happened when the vampire went to the blood bank?
A: He asked to make a withdrawal!

Q: Why did the vampire keep acting batty?
A: It was in his blood.

Sorry i do apologise i just get bored and fed up when i cant sleep and im wide awake at 2:30 in the morn


Have said before im a night /insomniac person

Ladies and Gentlemen.
We have a winner!

For sheer effort,the winner is GAG for the above post.

PM me your addy Gag.Congratulations.

As always,a big thank you to all who took the time to enter.

Tune in for next week's comp and the chance to win a SCREAM FACTORY POLTERGEIST III COLLECTOR'S EDITION!