Your Christmas Movies! Whatcha' Watchin' this Christmas season?

[MrBarlow]

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.

Santa is kidnapped by a race of martians as there is no one to hand out presents to their children.

Made over a period of 4 days and very low budget that Ed Wood would have loved to have made, for the time and budget It's almost laughable. The scene with the polar bear was comical, the acting is very abysmal to the point of how I managed to watch it to the end is questionable.

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[MrBarlow]

Killer Christmas. 2017.

A group of friends go Christmas tree hunting and venture in a abandoned hotel and being killed by a masked maniac.

Another killer in a Santa mask picking off horny teens in a creepy building, right at the start there was a warning that this film would be shit and that was the acting. Then you got the bad editing, some how I made it to the end to see who the killer was and not the great twist and laughable.

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[MrBarlow]

A Christmas Carol. 1938.

Reginald Owen steps in as the old miser, Gene Lockhart as the faithful assistant Bob Cratchit who seems a bit too jolly. Leo G. Carroll as Marley yet doesn't have much screen time. From MGM this was a rushed production yet still didn't stop it from being entertaining, although it's different from the source novel yet still a good version to watch.

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[Demoncrat]

Better Watch Out (2016, Chris Peckover)

Wish I'd seen this sooner, but that's life.
Festive fun with two kids who play a somewhat mean spirited trick on their babysitter. This one certainly kept me guessing.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

The Thin Man (1934)

Nora Charles: You know, that sounds like an interesting case. Why don't you take it?

Nick Charles: I haven't the time. I'm much too busy seeing that you don't lose any of the money I married you for.

If dialogue such as the above between husband and wife detective team Nick and Nora Charles amuses you then The Thin Man is an absolute treat and this first film being set at Christmas is a festive joy.

Based on the crime novels by Dashiell Hammett, this, the first in a popular series, stars William Powell and Myrna Loy as Nick and Nora, amateur sleuths as well as the embodiment of 1930's style and sophistication.

The story involves a murder case the police can't fathom until Nora cajoles retired hubby Nick into solving it purely because she's bored of sitting around in their swanky New York apartment.

The actual novel is a thriller but the film it's based on is more screwball comedy, at least in it's dialogue which is quick fire, incredibly clever and extremely witty with more quotable lines than you can shake a stick at. Powell and Loy are superb together, along with terrier dog Astor, and their excessive pre-code drinking and wild habits remain a delight to watch even if they'd be frowned upon in today's politically correct world. For me they are the best screen couple in cinema and their chemistry is unmatched.

The film was shot in just twelve days by director W.S. Van Dyke or 'One take Woody' as he was known and is a remarkable achievement given the complexity of the rapid fire dialogue and just goes to show what can be done with a brilliant script, quality direction and above all charismatic screen presences.

Eighty eight years old and one of my favourite films of all time.

[MrBarlow]

Once Upon A Time At Christmas.

I had no high hopes for this even at the start when I thought Harley Quinn was in the slammer but nope it was Mrs Claus taken inspiration from the character. Set in a small town where the mayor was obviously spoon feed and spoilt and daddy had to bribed someone for his son to get the position.

Santa looks like he has been in a few underground fights and lost plenty of rounds but didn't stop him him doing his 12 days of killing. The acting may not be the best at times but the kills can make up for it. The ending has been done before and somewhat decent plot twist.

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[MrBarlow]

Christmas Evil. 1980.

A toy maker suffers a mental breakdown goes on a killing spree.

When John Waters recommends a film it could either be a hit or a miss and this is certainly a hit for the festive season. Brandon Maggart plays the bullied factory worker Harry who slowly looses his sanity and dons the Santa outfit and goes on the killing spree.

It's not your average typical slasher movie, this is a bit quirky, vivid, and often darkly humorous psychological character study of a deeply tragic and troubled soul who elicits from the viewer a complex blend of fear and pity. There is a good band of acting from Jeffrey DeMunn as Harry's little brother, Dianne Hall as the sister in law and seems more supportive than the baby brother. It may be slow moving but certainly enjoyable.

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[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Batman Returns (1992)

Director Tim Burton gives us a day-glow masterpiece of fantasy horror images all dressed up as a superhero film.

A brilliant, Gothic action packed thrill ride, featuring a fantastically moody Michael Keaton as Batman, a stunningly sexy Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman, Danny Devito in one of his career best performances as the slimy Penguin, Christopher Walken, Christopher Walken in a bird cage, the best Batmobile ever, monkeys, bats, cats, penguins, graveyards, Siouxsie and the Banshees, snow, pvc, whips, sewers, explosions, Christmas trees, violence, fetish, scares...what more could you ask for at Christmas?

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Silent Night (2012)

A better than it has any right to be, loose remake of the 1984 slasher Silent Night Deadly Night.

The plot is straightforward. A sheriff and his deputy attempt to track down a murderous Santa Clause in their small town on Christmas Eve.

Fast paced, Silent Night is a decent example of a modern slasher film. Slightly tongue in cheek and very bloody. The killer Santa dispatches his victims with all manner of weapons from blades and flamethrowers to wood chippers, and straight out of the original movie - impalement on antlers.

Malcolm McDowell and Jamie King add a bit of weight to the film and some decent acting as the sheriff and his deputy, McDowell chews a fair bit of the scenery too but he's always well worth watching.

Although there isn't anything new here as such, slasher fans should get a lot of enjoyment out of this new take on an old favourtie.

Recommended.

[MrBarlow]

Winter Heat. 1976.

3 men and their female companion take refuge in a snowbound cabin, a trio of of girls arrive and the quartet decide to torment and abuse them.

This was a blind watch and from the plot this seemed to be like another home invasion movie but set in the middle of nowhere, secluded and wondered how it would pan out...how was I to know this was a hard-core porn movie, not the best film to watch while at work. (if you are wondering, no i didnt watch it all the way through)

The Grinch. 2000.

A bit of tongue in cheek comedy from the original cartoon with Jim Carrey as the green Christmas hating Grinch, this film is 22 years old (Yeah I do feel old now) and I still laugh at it.

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