The Absolute Worst Films of All Time!

[gag]

watched a film on horror channel Triloquist other night ...F**K me what a god dam piece of crap and the guy who played Norbet (Rocky Marquette)
was realy bad and annoying he didnt speak in the film. the way he was with his mouth i thought was irritating. either he got a funny mouth or struggling to just look relaxed with his mouth closed ....EG you know when some gives you a realy fake cheesy grin and open there mouth wide i felt thats what it was like but with his mouth closed....IF that made sense it began to bug annnoy me...The only decent thing was the lead actress i thought she was hot ..

[Gojirosan]

Originally Posted by Prince_Vajda

I would not call it terrible just because I don't like it

I would. As we covered earlier in the thread, "bad film" means different things to different people. Technically, Plan 9 From Outer Space is a poorly made film, however it is far more interesting, likeable and entertaining than, say, Three Amigos or Sucker Punch, and so there is no way I could call Plan 9 a worse film than either Three Amigos or Sucker Punch.

[PaulD]

Originally Posted by gag

watched a film on horror channel Triloquist other night ...F**K me what a god dam piece of crap and the guy who played Norbet (Rocky Marquette)
was realy bad and annoying he didnt speak in the film. the way he was with his mouth i thought was irritating. either he got a funny mouth or struggling to just look relaxed with his mouth closed ....EG you know when some gives you a realy fake cheesy grin and open there mouth wide i felt thats what it was like but with his mouth closed....IF that made sense it began to bug annnoy me...The only decent thing was the lead actress i thought she was hot ..

Picked this up for a quid in Poundland, still not gotten round to watching it yet. Have little in the way of expectations mind.

[Demoncrat]

well, il be watching sucker punch at weekend, the things people lend me haha, though also got The Deaths Of Ian Stone as well, so it evens out, hope it lives up to the recommendations ive read (TDOIS nae SP)

[JunkMonkey]

Originally Posted by Gojirosan

Nekkid Sherilyn Fenn, you say?

I just wanted to bookmark this thread and that seemed as good a way as any.



'Absolute worst film' to me would imply that it was so bad it wasn't watchable so, looking over my films I failed to finish list for the past few years (and I have a very high tolerance for bad films), I would suggest:

Brothers (2001) - twenty minutes was all I lasted with this self-financed piece of bumdrizzle about lads on the pull in Greece. Just how bad is this movie? If I tell you it has more semi-naked and naked women in it than any other film I have seen this year and I STILL couldn't watch it, you may get some inclination of just how ****ing crap this is.

Monster from Bikini Beach ( 2008 ) - a 95 minute 'comedy/horror' made for $10,000 dollars. A splatter homage to all those beach party monster films of the 60s - in living colour with more nudity, and gore. Dreadful. I can see why no one has bothered to reviewed it on IMDb. Usually cheapo drek like this can usually attract someone who was in it (or did the catering) to write something about how much fun they had making it. Not this one.

Mama Mia - Never really a medium for heavyweight subjects or great artistic debate, movie musicals have plummeted to new depths of shallowness with this piece of shit. What an awful waste of time and money. I thought Hairspray was crap. It's starting to look good in comparison.

Terry Gilliam's Tideland. I hated every minute of the 60 odd minutes of its 2 hour running time that I managed to stomach before turning it off.

Dracula: Dead and Loving it - what the hell happened to Mel Brooks?

Elektra - Comic book based flick about 'Back from the dead' female assassin with issues. I gived up after 15 minutes when I realised it wasn't going to stop looking like a glossy car commercial. Terrence Stamp appeared in flashback as the aged martial arts master and looked bored out of his skull, if he couldn't be bothered why should I? Presumably he was getting paid to be there; I wasn't.

Cavegirl - I can do no better than quote one of the IMDb reviews of this piece of shit: "a woefully unfunny film, with none of the 'so-bad-it's-entertaining' elements which similar films sometimes provide." Yep, that just about sums it up.

Hamlet - Ethan Hawke in the title role and a cast worthies totally at sea in a total ****-up of a movie in which the director spends most of his time trying to point the camera at the BACK of whoever is speaking's head in order to make the lousily-recorded, mumbling and whispering that they are doing totally incomprehensible. Only Liev Schrieber (as Laertes) looked like he had a clue what his character was meant to be saying and then said it with a clarity and conviction that just made everyone else look even more lost. I lasted 30 minutes before hitting the off button.

The Phantom Creeps Reviews & Ratings - IMDb The Phantom Creeps 265 minute (12 episode) Bela Lugosi serial edited down to an incomprehensible mess of a 78 minute feature film.

Shadow of Chinatown Reviews & Ratings - IMDb Shadow of Chinatown 300 minutes of garbage 1936 Bela Lugosi serial cut down to 65 minutes! Even more incoherently crappy than the last one.

[Baseball Fury]

I really like Gus Van Sant, so I enjoyed his Death Trilogy Last Days (Cobain) and Gerry (David Coughlin murder), plus the equally slow-paced (to a point) Elephant (Columbine). His more mainstream fare like Good Will Hunting, ...Idaho, ...Cowboy and especially Milk are also great.

Psycho though, that can do one.

[Prince_Vajda]

Originally Posted by JunkMonkey

Dracula: Dead and Loving it - what the hell happened to Mel Brooks?

Elektra - Comic book based flick about 'Back from the dead' female assassin with issues. I gived up after 15 minutes when I realised it wasn't going to stop looking like a glossy car commercial. Terrence Stamp appeared in flashback as the aged martial arts master and looked bored out of his skull, if he couldn't be bothered why should I? Presumably he was getting paid to be there; I wasn't.

I totally agree with you on Elektra - one of the worst films ever indeed.

But Dracula - Dead and Loving it is a nice and simple Horror spoof. After having seen Universal's original Dracula movies and the Hammer flicks, you gotta love Brooks' film. I agree, it has not the class of Young Frankenstein, but it is an enjoyable flick with a great cast all the same!

Greetings!

[JunkMonkey]

Originally Posted by Prince_Vajda

I totally agree with you on Elektra - one of the worst films ever indeed.

But Dracula - Dead and Loving it is a nice and simple Horror spoof. After having seen Universal's original Dracula movies and the Hammer flicks, you gotta love Brooks' film. I agree, it has not the class of Young Frankenstein, but it is an enjoyable flick with a great cast all the same!

Greetings!

Maybe that was the problem. I just found the originals funnier.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Wasn't sure where to post this regarding the new Judge Dredd movie, but on reading this article Dredd movie: director dismissed, locked out of editing room? - Den of Geek then this may well be the thread.

[James Morton]

SWEPT AWAY was on tv the other night
Madonna was terrible in the film, complete shite
Can't remember if I mentioned YELLOWBEARD and THE REMAKE OF BEAU GESTE
I saw these shit films on video and they were very embarassingly unfunny