The Steven Seagal Thread

[napalm-in-the-morning]

Originally Posted by buggenhagen

It's finally come... this Saturday coming is officially "Seagal Saturday" round my house. The day will consist of watching the Seagal Legacy Boxset (Exit Wounds, Executive Decision, Fire Down Below, Glimmer Man, Nico, Under Siege, Under Siege 2, Out For Justice) with a few mates, a LOT of booze, and a steady supply of hotdogs & ribs...

Is this a good way to first experience the movies of the big man?

Excellent idea. This should of course be law throughout the Western world.

[42ndStreetFreak]

Where'd the post go?

Anyway...First off...real shame you could only see the cut versions. The cuts do make a big difference.
If you do like the films, Sell the box set and pick the R1's up cheap on Amazon.
You need to see those great bone snapping early Seagal put downs.
(except "Out for a Kill" which is uncut in the UK anyway and "Hard to Kill" as the R1 is cut as well)

"On Deadly Ground" is a superb bad movie.
And yes it IS a very bad movie, but it's truly one that does indeed reach 'So bad it's good' status.
Caine and his farcical dyed hair are great hammy value, Seagal is so up his arse with his mystical, champion of the wilderness, spiritual awakening schtick he's a contradictory sight to behold when he snaps necks and blows holes in people at the same time as spouting 'ad man' words of wisdom.

Action is nasty, well done, fun and plentiful, bad guy support characters are all a comic strip gems and plus we get 'spiritual titties' to enjoy!

[Stephen@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by 42ndStreetFreak

Where'd the post go?

That was my fault.I hit edit instead of quote!

[42ndStreetFreak]

Originally Posted by stevoj

That was my fault.I hit edit instead of quote!

****ing mods!

[Stephen@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by 42ndStreetFreak

****ing mods!

I wouldn't have felt so bad if it wasn't such a big post.

[vincenzo]

If he does it again he sleeps wid da fishes.

[Stephen@Cult Labs]

I'm changing my name to Luca as we speak.

[buggenhagen]

Originally Posted by stevoj

I'm changing my name to Luca as we speak.

I've been in touch with Seagal this evening and it doesn't matter what you change your name to - he's agreed to seek you out and do that horrific neck snap that he seems so keen on!

Right... I've had a few shandies since my first post disappeared (whilst watching UFC 111 - holy shit!) so lets see what my recollections are this time...

OK - so, Seagal Saturday was my first experience of the big man... Somehow I've managed to make it to the grand old age of 33 without seeing a single one of Seagal's movies - outrageous I know, especially since he hit the big time when I was in the target audience zone.

Anyway. The time was set - 1pm was Seagal Saturday kick off. Unfortunately I was hit by an unexpected hangover after the late night screening of The Warriors at the GFT on Friday night (which was unfortunately the Directors Cut version with the stinking comic book sections.) When the boys started arriving I was still recuperating in bed, having spent the morning razzing up in the bathroom. As my girlfriend welcomed the guests in I wondered what Seagal would do and realised that having a hangover was NOT an option... So I dragged myself up and got the ribs in the oven (they were to be slow cooked for 5hrs...mmmm)

An early call was made - we'd start in chronological order. To be honest I was amazed at how entertaining Nico was - for some reason I'd lowered my expectations of how good the world of Seagal would be. Out For Justice was even more enjoyable than Nico - despite the fact that Seagal seemed to have become a worse actor in the years between the first film and this one. Surely Out For Justice must be in the running for the best title card freeze from shot ever? Legendary.

By now I think I was having to come to terms with the fact that I was rapidly becoming a Seagal fan. Next up was Under Siege which was a massive disappointment. Everyone else had seen the film when it was released and had accepted it as a good (for the time) action movie. It didn't take long for them to realise that it was actually total balls. I think that Under Siege was the worst film of the night.

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, for my money (and despite being the heavily cut UK release), was waaaaaay better. What a riot. Total nonsense but fast paced and action packed. By this stage I was starting to realise how hilarious Seagal's style is - when he's fighting he's absolutely brutal, when he's not fighting, and often while he is, he's hilariously sarcastic and constantly taking the piss out almost everyone.

An executive decision was made to skip Executive Decision and Glimmer Man and we moved on to Fire Down Below. I feared the worst but, despite often feeling like an episode of The A Team, I got right into Fire Down Below... and it was great to see Seagal rocking the guitar at last.

By the end of Fire Down Below most of the guys were boozed out and we called an end to the proceedings. One of my mates crashed over though and we ended the night watching Executive Decision up til the point when Seagal bowed out.

I went into Seagal Saturday not having seen a single one of the big mans films and I've come out a complete convert. I now have to get hold of Under Siege 2 uncut and am dying to see Marked For Death, Hard To Kill and On Deadly Ground... Fingers crossed that his classic movies get resubmitted to the BBFC if they (hopefully) come up for blu-ray release

Oh dear - what have I got myself into

[vincenzo]

Originally Posted by buggenhagen

I've been in touch with Seagal this evening and it doesn't matter what you change your name to - he's agreed to seek you out and do that horrific neck snap that he seems so keen on!

And den it's fish-feeding time for Stevoj Brasi.

[Stephen@Cult Labs]

One thing's certain,I'm not even attempting to quote buggenhagens post!