What Films Have You Seen Recently?

[Make Them Die Slowly]

INSIDIOUS 3

Prequel to the first two films that owes a debt to J Horror more than to the other films in the series. It whips along at a fair pace so you can skip over the faults in its own logic as you marvel at the underlying sexual weirdness that is all over it. And weird it is in the sexual stakes with the teenage heroine spending most of the film on a bed with her legs spread wide, in plaster casts and underwear, as wizened old men attack her before dragging her into the world of the dead. Here she spends her time as an amputee crawling on the floor endlessly with her arse in the air whilst in our world three men bind her to a chair with a phone cable!

Weirder still, girl MTDS made me watch NATIVITY 3: DUDE, WHERE'S MY DONKEY. Mother of F*ck! It is one of the most frantic films ever made, an endless parade of singing and dancing from 5 minutes in when the whole plot is explained leaving the rest of the running time to feature every dance school in the country badly lip syncing and prancing about out of time. Weirdly, it reminded me of THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES for some reason, a reason I am afraid to explore.

SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER

WWE Superstars THE MIZ and PAIGE feature in this kids flick that the boy and girl MTDS both greatly enjoyed but not as much as we all enjoyed watching The Undertaker kicking seven shades of shit out of Ric Flair in our mammoth watch of The Streak.

[Nosferatu@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Who are the other two?

There's a list with Denethor (Lord of the Rings) at #3, Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter) at #2 and Mr Binks at #1 – The Most Hated Characters In Films - moviepilot.com

[Nosferatu@Cult Labs]

And another list with Mr Binks at the top of the tree, but curious decisions for the others in the top three:
The 25 Most Annoying Movie Characters | Complex UK

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by Nosferatu@Cult Labs

There's a list with Denethor (Lord of the Rings) at #3, Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter) at #2 and Mr Binks at #1 – The Most Hated Characters In Films - moviepilot.com

Don't you have to have heard of the characters? Despite seeing all the LOTR's films and read the book Denethor means nothing to me.

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by Make Them Die Slowly

INSIDIOUS 3

Prequel to the first two films that owes a debt to J Horror more than to the other films in the series. It whips along at a fair pace so you can skip over the faults in its own logic as you marvel at the underlying sexual weirdness that is all over it. And weird it is in the sexual stakes with the teenage heroine spending most of the film on a bed with her legs spread wide, in plaster casts and underwear, as wizened old men attack her before dragging her into the world of the dead. Here she spends her time as an amputee crawling on the floor endlessly with her arse in the air whilst in our world three men bind her to a chair with a phone cable!

Weirder still, girl MTDS made me watch NATIVITY 3: DUDE, WHERE'S MY DONKEY. Mother of F*ck! It is one of the most frantic films ever made, an endless parade of singing and dancing from 5 minutes in when the whole plot is explained leaving the rest of the running time to feature every dance school in the country badly lip syncing and prancing about out of time. Weirdly, it reminded me of THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES for some reason, a reason I am afraid to explore.

Are you sure these are in the right thread? I think you made them up. Well not Insidious 3, but it sounds like you made up the premise though.

[iank]

He'd make an excellent marketer for them though (esp Ins 3).

[Make Them Die Slowly]

Originally Posted by Demdike@Cult Labs

Are you sure these are in the right thread? I think you made them up. Well not Insidious 3, but it sounds like you made up the premise though.

Haha...but I will be soon posting a review of IT'S GRIM UP NORMA BUT SUNNY IN SALLY when I get a chance to finish watching it. It's a post Kitchen Sink/Angry Young Man satire on the North/South divide and the first film to show an erect whippet in the UK!

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

Originally Posted by iank

He'd make an excellent marketer for them though (esp Ins 3).

I know it's bad isn't it.

I now want to see Insidious 3 even though the only way i'd sit through the first one again was like so...

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2015)

I loved The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but this sequel whilst still very good doesn't deliver the laughs as frequently and it's story line is a little slight even though a fair portion of it steals the best bits from the Fawlty Towers episode The Hotel Inspector.

Just like the original 2012 sleeper hit, this second installment has a wealth of older acting talent, again headed by Judi Dench, Bill Nighy and Maggie Smith, this time with added Tamsin Greig and Richard Gere.

It didn't feel quite as successful as it had so many great characters but didn't give them all either enough to do as in the case of Celia Imrie or just lacked a little of the charm and magic in the screen play that the first film possessed, or perhaps just lacked the first film's originality. Well it is a sequel after all.

Good but not great.

[keirarts]

What have you done to solange?

What indeed. She only appears near the end of the film and the twist is something I honestly don't want to spoil for those who have not seen it. The rest of the film sees Fabio Testi plays a grubby gym teacher trying to shag one of his students in a boat. In fairness she looks about 23 and played by Christina Galbo so while theoretically he's a bit of a nonce its tempered by the fact that she's really, really fit. Still, Testi gets a little... testi (geddit!) when she won't put out because she has seen someone stab a girl in the crotch in the bushes. Testi puts it down to the catholic upbringing, that is until he hears a report on the radio about an actual murder and realises she did see something. We also discover that he's in a loveless marriage with a fellow teacher (played by German Actress and Krimi regular Karin Baal) whose actually pretty hot also but is wearing no make-up, scowling a lot and wearing her hair like one of those female concentration camp guards in a Nazisploitation film. Pretty soon Fabio is in the frame for the murder while the killer continues with his crotch stabbing obsession working his way through the students at the school.
Solange is a great looking, well framed slice of Giallo with plenty of seedy action including peeping tom scenes in the girls showers, naked girls painted white and teachers, police and other authority figures going all Robin Askwith over the schoolgirls. We get to see Fabio's marriage repair itself through his wife smiling more, letting her hair down and wearing make up and we even get Aristide Massaccesi (Joe D'amato) playing an undercover cop. It's a great little movie, a little silly in places and a shocking plot twist that got dated really quick but it still holds up, looks fantastic and sports a terrific Ennio Morricone score.