The Doctor Who Thread

[Susan Foreman]

Jon Pertwee with the Emperor Dalek from the 1989 stage play 'The Ultimate Adventure'

[Susan Foreman]

Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes

The Name Of The Doctor

Andro: Something wrong?
Fabian: It's the repair shop. What kind of idiot would steal a faulty Tardis?
(The monitor screen shows a white-haired old man in a black frock coat and a teenaged girl getting into a non-camouflaged Type 40.)

************************************

Strax [OC]: Sontar-ha! Sontar-ha!
(Strax and a big man go flying through a window.)
Archie: Come here while I kill ye, ya filthy wee midden.
Strax: Prepare to die in agony for the glory of the Sontaran Empire!
Messenger Boy: Excuse me. Mister Strax?
Strax: What is it, girl? Can't you see I'm trying to crush the brains of this stinking primitive? Sorry about this.
Archie: No problem.
Messenger Boy: It's a telegram, sir. Very urgent.
(Strax reads it.)
Strax: Conference call. Sorry, Archie. I'm going to have to ask you to render me unconscious.
Archie: Fine.
(Archie raises his large mallet.)
Strax: Better use this. (Strax's even larger shovel.) It might take a while.

****************************************

River: So what else did this DeMarco tell you? He didn't just buy his life with some coordinates. How did he prove their value?
Vastra: One word, only.
River: What word?
Vastra: A word I've heard in connection with the Doctor before. Trenzalore.
River: How exactly did he describe what he was giving you?
Holo-DeMarco: The Doctor has a secret, you know. He has one he will take to the grave. And it is discovered.
River: You misunderstood.
Jenny: Ma'am, I'm sorry. I just realise I forgot to lock the doors.
Vastra: It doesn't matter, Jenny. What misunderstanding? Tell me.
Jenny: No, ma'am, please. I should've locked up before we went into the trance.
Vastra: Jenny, it doesn't matter!
Jenny: Someone's broken in. Someone's with us. I can hear them.
Vastra: Jenny, are you all right?
Jenny: Sorry, ma'am. So sorry. So sorry. So sorry. I think I've been murdered

**********************************

Strax: This base is surrounded! Lay down your weapons and your deaths will be merciful!
Vastra: Jenny. Jenny!
(Vastra runs to her wife's body.)
Strax: This planet is now property of the Sontaran Empire. Surrender your women and intellectuals.
Vastra: Strax, please! She's dead.
(He scans Jenny.)
Strax: No heart beat. Complete cardio-collapse, shock induced.
Vastra: Get her back for me. Get her back for me now or I will cut you into pieces.
Strax: Unhand me, ridiculous reptile. (He uses his medi-scanner to transmit an electric pulse, and Jenny coughs.) There we go. Just a standard electro-cardio restart. She'll be fine.
Vastra: Are you all right, my love? Can you hear me?
Strax: The heart is a relatively simple thing.
Vastra: I have not found it to be so.

***************************************

The Doctor: Hey, it's okay. You're fine. The dimensioning forces this deep in the Tardis, they can make you a bit giddy.
Clara: I know, I know. How do I know? How do I know that?
The Doctor: Clara, it's okay. You're fine.
Clara: Have we, have we done this before? We have. We have done this before. Climbing through a wrecked Tardis. You said things, things I'm not supposed to remember.
The Doctor: We can't do this now. The Tardis is a ruin. The telepathic circuits are awakening memories you shouldn't even have.
The Doctor [memory]: Why do I keep meeting you?
The Doctor: Clara.
The Doctor [memory]: The Dalek Asylum. There was a girl in a shipwreck and she died saving my life. And she was you.
The Doctor: Clara.
The Doctor [memory]: In Victorian London there was a governess, who was really a barmaid, and she died. And she was you.
The Doctor: Clara? Clara, what's wrong?
Clara: What do you mean, you keep meeting me? You said I died. How could I die?
The Doctor: That is not a conversation you should even remember.
Clara: What do you mean I died?
Whisper Men: The girl who died he tried to save. She'll die again inside his grave.
The Doctor: Run. Run!

**********************************

Clara: What's that?
The Doctor: What were you expecting, a body? Bodies are boring. I've had loads of them. Nah, that's not what my tomb is for.
Vastra: But what is the light?
Jenny: It's beautiful.
Strax: Should I destroy it?
Vastra: Shut up, Strax.
Clara: Doctor, explain. What is that?
The Doctor: The tracks of my tears.

******************************

Clara: I have to go in there.
The Doctor: Please, please, no.
Clara: But this is what I've already done. You've already seen me do it. I'm the Impossible Girl, and this is why.
River: Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't.
Clara: If I step in there, what happens?
River: The time winds will tear you into a million pieces. A million versions of you, living and dying all over time and space, like echoes.
Clara: But the echoes could save the Doctor, right?
River: But they won't be you. The real you will die. They'll just be copies.
Clara: But they'll be real enough to save him. It's like my mum said. The souffle isn't the souffle, the souffle is the recipe. It's the only way to save him, isn't it?
Vastra: The stars are going out. And Jenny and Strax are dead. There must be something we can do.
Clara: Well, how about that? I'm souffle girl after all.
The Doctor: No. Please.
Clara: If this works, get out of here as fast as you can. And spare me a thought now and then.
The Doctor: No, Clara.
Clara: In fact, you know what? Run. Run, you clever boy, and remember me.
The Doctor: No. Clara!

************************************

(The Doctor looks forward to where a man is standing with his back to them.)
Clara: Who's that?
The Doctor: Never mind. Let's go back.
Clara: But who is he?
The Doctor: He's me. There's only me here, that's the point. Now let's get back.
Clara: But I never saw that one. I saw all of you. Eleven faces, all of them you. You're the eleventh Doctor.
The Doctor: I said he was me. I never said he was the Doctor.
Clara: I don't understand.
The Doctor: Look, my name, my real name, that is not the point. The name I chose is the Doctor. The name you choose, it's like, it's like a promise you make. He's the one who broke the promise. (Clara faints.) Clara? Clara? Clara! (The Doctor picks up Clara in his arms.) He is my secret.
Not Doctor: What I did, I did without choice.
The Doctor: I know.
Not Doctor: In the name of peace and sanity.
The Doctor: But not in the name of the Doctor.
(The Doctor turns and carries Clara away. The figure turns around... to introduce John Hurt as the Doctor.)

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

The Doctor (William Hartnell) and Steven (Peter Purves) deep in discussion (Although the Doctor looks to be nodding off) in the 1966 story The Massacre of St Bartholomew's Eve

[Susan Foreman]

Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes

The Day Of The Doctor

The Doctor: Unified Intelligence Task Force.
Clara: Sorry?
The Doctor: This lot. UNIT. They investigate alien stuff. Anything alien.
Clara: What, like you?
The Doctor: I work for them.
Clara: You have a job?
The Doctor: Why shouldn't I have a job? I'd be brilliant at having a job.
Clara: You don't have a job.
The Doctor: I do. This is my job. I'm doing it now.
Clara You never have a job.
The Doctor: I do. I do.

***************************************

Elizabeth: Who is this man?
Doctor 10: That's just what I was wondering.
The Doctor: Oh, that is skinny. That is proper skinny. I've never seen it from the outside. It's like a special effect. Oi! (He knocks the fez to the ground.) Ha! Matchstick man.
Doctor 10: You're not. (They both get out their sonic screwdrivers. 11's is bigger and better.) Compensating.
The Doctor: For what?
Doctor 10 : Regeneration. It's a lottery.
The Doctor: Oh, he's cool. Isn't he cool? I'm the Doctor and I'm all cool. Oops, I'm wearing sandshoes.

**************************

Kate: Malcolm? Malcolm, I need you to send me one of my father's incident files. Codenamed Cromer. 70s or 80s depending on the dating protocol.

*****************************

Doctor 10: Okay, you used to be me, you've done all this before. What happens next?
The Doctor: I don't remember.
Doctor 10: How can you forget this?
The Doctor: Hey, hang on. It's not my fault. You're obviously not paying enough attention. Reverse the polarity! (They both aim their sonic screwdrivers at the fissure.) It's not working.
Doctor 10: We're both reversing the polarity.
The Doctor: Yes, I know that.
Doctor 10: There's two of us. I'm reversing it, you're reversing it back again. We're confusing the polarity.
(The Warrior drops through the time fissure.)
The War Doctor: Anyone lose a fez?
Doctor 10: You. How can you be here? More to the point, why are you here?
The War Doctor: Good afternoon. I'm looking for the Doctor.
Doctor 10: Well, you've certainly come to the right place.
The War Doctor: Good. Right. Well, who are you boys? Oh, of course. Are you his companions?
The Doctor: His companions?
The War Doctor: They get younger all the time. Well, if you could point me in the general direction of the Doctor? (They both demonstrate their sonic screwdrivers.) Really?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Doctor 10: Really.
The War Doctor: You're me? Both of you?
Doctor 10: Yep.
The War Doctor: Even that one?
The Doctor: Yes!
The War Doctor: You're my future selves?
Both: Yes!
The War Doctor: Am I having a midlife crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols

**********************************

The Doctor: It's a timey-wimey thing.
The War Doctor: Timey what? Timey-wimey?
Doctor 10: I've no idea where he picks that stuff up.

**********************************

The War Doctor: Did you ever count?
The Doctor: Count what?
The War Doctor: How many children there were on Gallifrey that day.
(The Doctor stops his scratching.)
The Doctor: I have absolutely no idea.
The War Doctor: How old are you now?
The Doctor: Ah, I don't know. I lose track. Twelve hundred and something, I think, unless I'm lying. I can't remember if I'm lying about my age, that's how old I am.
The War Doctor: Four hundred years older than me, and in all that time you've never even wondered how many there were? You never once counted?
The Doctor: Tell me, what would be the point?
Doctor 10: Two point four seven billion.
The War Doctor: You did count!
Doctor 10: You forgot? Four hundred years, is that all it takes?
The Doctor: I moved on.

****************************************8*

(Clara opens the door and nearly falls in.)
The Doctor: How did you do that?
Clara: It wasn't locked.
The Doctor: Right.
Clara: So they're both you, then, yeah?
The Doctor: Yes. You've met them before. Don't you remember?
Clara: A bit. Nice suit.
Doctor 10 10: Thanks.
Clara: Hang on. Three of you in one cell, and none of you thought to try the door?

*************************************

(Inside the Tardis)
The War Doctor: You've let this place go a bit.
The Doctor: Ah, it's his grunge phase. He grows out of it.
Doctor 10: Don't you listen to them. (An alarm sounds. The tenth Doctor gets an electric shock.) Ow! The desktop is glitching.
The War Doctor: Three of us from different time zones. It's trying to compensate.
The Doctor: Hey, look. The round things.
Doctor 10: I love the round things.
The Doctor: What are the round things?
The Doctor 10: No idea.
The Doctor: Oh dear, the friction contrafibulator. Ha! There, stabilised.
(The desktop changes again.)
Doctor 10: (channelling Doctor 2) Oh, you've redecorated. I don't like it.
The Doctor: Oh. Oh yeah? Oh, you never do.

***************************************

General: It's delusional. The calculations alone would take hundreds of years.
The Doctor: Oh, hundreds and hundreds.
Doctor 10: But don't worry, I started a very long time ago.
Doctor 1: Calling the War Council of Gallifrey. This is the Doctor.
The Doctor: You might say I've been doing this all my lives.
Doctor 2: Good luck.
Doctor 3: Standing by.
Doctor 4: Ready.
Doctor 8: Commencing calculations.
Doctor 5: Soon be there.
Doctor 7: Across the boundaries that divide one universe from another.
Doctor 6: Just got to lock on to his coordinates.
Doctor 9: And for my next trick.
General: I didn't know when I was well off. All twelve of them!
Androgar: No, sir. All thirteen!
(A new pair of grey eyebrows is seen.)

******************************************

The Doctor [OC]: Clara sometimes asks me if I dream. Of course I dream, I tell her. Everybody dreams. But what do you dream about, she'll ask. The same thing everybody dreams about, I tell her. I dream about where I'm going. She always laughs at that. But you're not going anywhere, you're just wandering about. (He walks out to join his past selves, backs to us, gazing out at the stars.) That's not true. Not any more. I have a new destination. My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyones. It's taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but at last I know where I'm going. (A big golden planet hangs in the sky. He stands between the 10th and 8.5 Doctors.) Where I've always been going. Home, the long way round.

(Final shot, a front view of the known Doctors. Left to right - 2, 4, 6, 8, 8.5, 11, 10, 9, 7, 5, 3 and behind them, number one.)

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

A brilliant read ^

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

The cover to the BBC's 2001 eighth Doctor novel The City of the Dead by Lloyd Rose.

[Demoncrat]

I did watch Horror Of Fang Rock. Still crammed with death. Great twas. Now revisiting Seeds Of Doom because I wants it!! Great villain etc etc. Sadly no Brig, but UNIT even! Cough. Sad Demon
Boycie super as uber henchman Scorby etc. Rewatch!!!

[Susan Foreman]

Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes

INTERMISSION
The 'other' anniversary specials

The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot

(CHRISTMAS DAY 2012)
(Peter Davison's house. He and his sons Joel and Louis - one of whom is behind the sofa - are watching The Snowmen. Peter switches the TV off as the end credits roll.)
Child 1: So, Doctor Who's been going on for fifty years now?
Peter: That's right.
Child 2: Is there going to be an anniversary special next year, Dad?
Peter: Oh, I'm sure there will be.
Child 1: Yeah, but will you be in it?
Peter: I dunno. I'm sure they'll have more than one Doctor.
Child 2: So - it could just be like, Matt Smith and David Tennant?
Peter: Well... I suppose it could be....
Both Boys: Great! Yeah! (Jump up and run out. Peter looks nonplussed.)

******************************************

Radio: That was John Barrowman there with I Am What I Am, lovely stuff. Now talking of John Barrowman, it's the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who. And it's been announced today that there'll be a special on television for the 50th anniversary. Do you think they'll bring back all the old Doctors, like they used to do ? I hope they will. Er, who was your favourite Doctor. Mine was.... probably Peter Cushing. Controversial decision but -

******************************************

(Peter is picketing, on his own, wearing a Fifth Doctor t-shirt, outside Television Centre. He has a placard reading "NO 'CLASSICS'? NO 50TH!!". Colin and Sylvester are sitting on a bench with cups of tea, watching him)
Colin: Sugar?
Sylvester: Ah! Decisions. Will it make a difference?
Colin: What?
Sylvester: Every great decision creates ripples.
Colin: In your tea?
Sylvester: Like a big boulder dropping into a lake.
Colin: Oh Sylvester, if you don't stop quoting yourself I'll put you back on the plane myself.
Sylvester: I got it a bit wrong, actually.
Colin: Oh, what's the use of a good quote if you can't change it. You all right?
Sylvester: Oh, I dunno. I have this sinking feeling.

****************************************8*

Peter: Right. Let's go. (He has a black bag of clothes.)
Sylvester: Hang on. One thing. Why are we doing this?
Colin: Why?
Sylvester: Well, I've travelled twelve thousand miles to get here, I'm in breach of contract, my film career's in tatters, and for what?
Colin: He's right. What is the point? Why are we doing all this?
(Peter sighs. Stares round.)
Peter: For the fans.
Colin: Of course! For the fans!
Sylvester: Right! For the fans. Let's go.

*****************************************

Security: Three of them. Dressed in stupid clothes. Illegal aliens, I shouldn't wonder.

*****************************************

Peter's Voice On Phone: .... I'm not here right now, please leave a message.
Russell: Hi, Peter? hello. It's Russell T here. Russell The Davies! ha, funny! Erm, I just thought I'd phone you because I heard you were doing this video? for the fiftieth anniversary? and I thought - well, I thought I could be in it! (Doctors happily getting on coach) ... because let's face it, there wouldn't actually be a fiftieth anniversary without me, without Russell T. (Doctors heading down coach) I had these ideas, I thought I could appear at the end? I could like, sort of, I could save you all. You could all be trapped and I could save you, or, you could all die, and I could just be left there.... (Coach departing) I become the Doctor, a Time Lord, and - I could have a catchphrase? I could have a great catchphrase, like, my catchphrase could be "Quel dommage!". Like, "Quel dommage, Davros!". Like, and I could, like, and instead of like having a sonic screwdriver I could have and... (fades)

Space
Space

An Adventure In Space And Time

Announcer: This is the BBC. The following programme is based on actual events. It is important to remember, however, that you can’t rewrite History. Not one line. Except, perhaps, when you embark on an Adventure in Space and Time...

****************************************

Sydney: We wanna do a science-fiction serial. Legitimate stuff, though. No tin robots or B.E.M.s
Verity: B.E.M.s?
Sydney: Bug-Eyed Monsters! You know... Death rays and mutations. Brains in glass jars! All that kind of crap.

****************************************

Sydney: A good-looking guy, a good-looking girl and a kid who gets into trouble. Plus an older man. Quirky. I’ll come back to him. They travel about in space and time getting into scrapes!
Verity: Ooh! Lovely idea!

******************************************

Sydney: There’s never been a female producer here You’re just what this place needs. Someone with piss and vinegar in their veins!

*************************************

Bill: And what about the Doctor himself?
Verity: Your character?
Bill:(warming)We’ll see.
Verity: He whisks the school teachers off from their own time. But he can’t remember how to fly his ship. So they’re always landing in unexpected places. He’s something like six hundred years old. Looks like a senile old man but he’s tough.
Waris: Tough and wiry like an old turkey. It’s what you do so well, Mr Hartnell. Stern and scary but with a twinkle.
Verity: Trust me, Bill. You’re perfect for it. No-one will be able to resist you.
Bill: You really think so?
Verity: C.S.Lewis meets H.G. Wells meets Father Christmas! That’s the Doctor.
Bill: Hmmph.(He puts his hands to his lapels)Doctor who?

*****************************************

[a cameraman catches his first sight of a Dalek]
Cameraman: What the hell's that? A sink plunger and an egg-whisk? Oh well, if they can't take over the universe they might at least be able to whip up a decent omelette.

*****************************************

Mervyn: It can’t go on. He’s become so difficult to work with. And his lines...
Sydney: I hear you!
Mervyn: Poor chap’s worn out.
Sydney: Shame. Goddam shame.
Mervyn: So, that’s that, I suppose.
Sydney: What do you mean?
Mervyn: Well, we can’t have ‘Doctor Who’ without Doctor Who, can
we?
Sydney(sotto, to himself) Pop. Pop. Pop...

*********************************

Sydney: We’ve got great plans for ‘Doctor Who’, Bill, believe you me. Great plans. We’re hundred percent committed too.
Bill: I’m very glad to hear it!
Sydney: But we’re looking at ways of... refreshing it. Um... Regenerating it.
Bill: Hm. Yes. Quite right. Spice things up a bit.
Sydney Bill-
Bill: I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength anyway!
Sydney: Bill...hell, there’s no easy way of saying this... We want‘ Doctor Who’ to go on.
Bill: Yes.
Sydney: But not with you. Like you said. Things have got to change.
Bill: I see. (He nods. He knew this was coming. He looks almost relieved.) A new face?
Sydney: Yes.
Bill: Who...who have you got in mind?
Sydney: You’re a hard act to follow, Bill-
Bill: No need for the soft-soap, Sydney. You know me better. Who?
(Slowly, Sydney takes out a photo from a thick file and slides it a cross the desk. It’s of a saturnine, much younger man with dark hair.
Sydney: You approve?
Bill: Quite. Patrick Troughton! Excellent choice.

************************************

(September1966 – Bill is still looking up, eyes closed. He’s standing as he first was, by the console. He lowers his head and opens his eyes to find the studio is now full of crew. And three people stand facing him. Mike and Anneke , the new companions and the dark, beguiling Pat, the new Doctor Who. He has a mop of black hair and is dressed in baggy check trousers and a beaten up frock-coat. Silence. Tense silence. The old Doctor and the new Doctor face each other. Then)—
Pat: Well, then. Who’s who? (Bill smiles. The mood is broken. Pat comes over and shakes him warmly by the hand.) I won’t lie to you. I’m scared stiff!
Bill: Oh, you’ll be fine. In fact, you’ll be wonderful. I told them, you know, there’s only one man in England who could take over.
Pat: Oh. Couldn’t they find him?

*************************************

[Red lights on, cameras are grouped around the three cast. Bil gazes down at the dials, gauges and winking instruments for the last time. This is it. His eyes fill with tears as he contemplates the end. The roar of the TARDIS engines... Then Bill notices something else. On the opposite side of the hexagonal console. Another pair of hands, imitating his own gesture. Bill looks up. Facing him is – The Doctor. The Eleventh in that illustrious line. Matt Smith. Bill stares at the stranger. Matt adjusts his bowtie and just- winks. Bill smiles]

[Demdike@Cult Labs]

A classic publicity still from the 1973 story The Time Warrior.

Pictured are Jon Pertwee's third Doctor, Kevin Lindsay as the Sontaran Linx and Elisabeth Sladen as Sarah Jane Smith

[Susan Foreman]

Doctor Who over the years: Episode quotes

The Time Of The Doctor

Clara: Emergency. You're my boyfriend.
The Doctor: Ding dong. Okay, brilliant. I may be a bit rusty in some areas, but I will glance at a manual.
Clara: No, no, you're not actually my boyfriend.
The Doctor: Oh, that was quick. It's a roller coaster this phone call.
Clara: But I need a boyfriend really quickly.
The Doctor: Well, I hope you're nicer to the next one.
Clara: No, shut up. Christmas dinner. Me cooking.
The Doctor: So?
Clara: So, I may have accidentally invented a boyfriend.
The Doctor: Yeah, I did that once and there's no easy way to get rid of an android.
Clara: No, not an android. A pretend one, an imaginary one. And I said he'd be coming to Christmas dinner.

***************************************

The Doctor: This town, what's it called?
Marta: It's Christmas.
The Doctor: It's July.
Marta: No, the town. The town is Christmas. That's what it's called.
Abramal: Be happy here. Be well.
Clara: How can a town be called Christmas?
The Doctor: I don't know. How can an island be called Easter?

*****************************************

The Doctor: Ha! Everyone gets stuck somewhere eventually, Clara. Everything ends.
Clara: Except you.
The Doctor: Have you been paying attention? I'm an old man now.
Clara: But you don't die. You change. You pop right back up with a new face.
The Doctor: No, not for ever. I can change twelve times. Thirteen versions of me. Thirteen silly Doctors.
Clara: Okay, so you're number eleven, so
The Doctor: Ha. Are we forgetting Captain Grumpy, eh? I didn't call myself the Doctor during the Time War, but it was still a regeneration.
Clara: Okay, so you're number twelve.
The Doctor: Well, number ten once regenerated and kept the same face. I had vanity issues at the time. Twelve regenerations, Clara. I can't ever do it again. This is where I end up. This face, this version of me. We saw this planet in the future, remember? All those graves, one of them mine.
(The sun is setting.)
Clara: Change the future.
The Doctor: I can't.

***************************************

The Doctor: The trouble with Daleks is, they take so long to say anything. Probably die of boredom before they shoot me.

***************************************

Dalek [OC]: You are dying, Doctor.
The Doctor: Yes, I'm dying. You've been trying to kill me for centuries, and here I am, dying of old age. If you want something done, do it yourself.
Dalek [OC]: You will die, and the Time Lords will never return.
The Doctor: You still can't work up the courage to shoot me, can you? You're still worried I've got something up my sleeve. Well, you knock yourselves out, boys. I've got nothing this time.
(Flying Daleks fire at the troops on the ground, making the townsfolk scream. Then the crack opens in the sky and golden regeneration energy enters the Doctor's mouth. His eyes widen in surprise and his hands begin to glow.)
Dalek [OC]: You will die now, Doctor. This is the end of you. (The crack disappears.) The rules of regeneration are known. You have expended all your lives.
The Doctor: Sorry, what did you say? Did you mention the rules? Now, listen. Bit of advice. Tell me the truth if you think you know it. Lay down the law if you're feeling brave. But, Daleks, never, ever tell me the rules!
Dalek [OC]: Emergency! Emergency! The Doctor is regenerating! (The Tower clock strikes twelve. The Doctor is feeling more youthful already, although he doesn't look it.) The Doctor is regenerating!
The Doctor: Oh, look at this. Regeneration number thirteen. We're breaking some serious science here, boys. I tell you what, it's going to be a whopper!
Dalek [OC]: Exterminate! Exterminate the Doctor.
The Doctor: You think you can stop me now, Daleks? If you want my life, ha, ha, come and get it!
(The Doctor winds up his arm and fires a big stream of energy out from his hand.)

*************************************

Clara: Doctor!
The Doctor: Hello.
Clara: You're young again. You're okay. You didn't even change your face.
The Doctor: Ha! It's started. I can't stop it now. This is just the reset. A whole new regeneration cycle. Ooo. (He finishes his custard.) Taking a bit longer. Just breaking it in. Oh. Oh. Gah. (He starts the Tardis' engines.) It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. Any moment now, he's a-coming.
Clara: Who's coming?
The Doctor: The Doctor.
Clara: But you, you are the Doctor.
The Doctor: Yep, and I always will be. (His hands are glowing.) But times change, and so must I. (The Doctor sees a young Amy Pond run up the stairs, laughing.) Amelia?
Clara: Who's Amelia?
The Doctor: The first face this face saw. We all change, when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.
(Then he sees a vision of a red-haired woman with black painted fingernails walk down the stairs to him.)
Amy: Raggedy man. Good night.
(They touch each others cheeks, and she disappears. The Doctor removes his bow tie and drops it on the floor. His face is in pain.)
Clara: No, no.
The Doctor: Hey
Clara: Please don't change.
(The Doctor jerks backwards as Matt Smith and then forwards as Peter Capaldi. Tall, grey haired, piercing blue eyes and a Scottish burr. The new Doctor and Clara stare into each others eyes, then he jerks back and forward again.)
The Doctor: Kidneys! I've got new kidneys. I don't like the colour.
Clara: Of your kidneys? (The Tardis starts lurching from side to side.) What's happening?
The Doctor: We're probably crashing. Oh!
Clara: Into what?
The Doctor: Stay calm. Just one question. Do you happen to know how to fly this thing?