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It's the Star Wars movie I've been waiting 32 years for |
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Shameless: #27 The New Barbarians (1983) I wasn't overly impressed with The Bronx Warriors, its sequel, Escape from the Bronx, was ok. This however was even better, tbh I'm not a fan of the whole 'post apocalyptic world' as portrayed by the movies of the 80's with the exception of a few but this goes into that small pile.
__________________ Alea iacta est." |
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NURSE Pseudo art/trash bollocks that fails to engage on any particular level unless you have never seen a vagina before. It is a miserable viewing experience as it is easy to see what the writers and director are aiming for but they fall short in delivering the goods. Yes, there is a lot of nudity but it is neither erotic or exploitative though the story and art direction offer the opportunity for it to be both. The last twenty minutes almost redeem the film in a welter of violence and shitty looking CGI gore before it falls back into be what it really is at heart a shoddy "Fatal Attraction" rip off for those not manly (or womanly) enough to seek out true trash or art erotica. MUCK This is more like it, utter shite lacking any real motivation other than to show as many close ups of a woman's arse as she gets covered in mud and blood. There is a plot in there somewhere amongst the casual racism, sexism and arses. In fact, if you like arses and American regional slashers where people talk endlessly to pad the running time between walking in woods or in and out of rooms, then it's a winner. I liked it. Apparently it is the second part of a trilogy with the first and third parts yet to be made! WE ARE STILL HERE Loving homage to Fulci, particularly "House by the Cemetery" and "The Beyond" which is very much it's own film. The build up to the blood and gore final is slow and engaging with characters drinking lots of B&J rather than J&B whiskey before the bloodbath begins! Recommended. |
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Fast and Furious 7 (2015) Having just ejected the dvd i'm struggling as to how to review this. I'd probably use words like exhilarating, ludicrous, arse, clenching, excitement, breath, taking, touching, madness, up!, blows, shit, Statham, mental, unbelievable. I know i'd finish the review with these words...perhaps the best action movie ever! |
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Went to see Star Wars The Force Awakens this afternoon. God i loved it, first thing that hits you is how real it all looks. Practical effects, real sets, hell puppet work! Even the CGI is seamless, makes the prequel trilogy look even more souless than they already did. I won't go into story details at the moment. It was actually nice to see such a major film without having much clue what to expect. As others have said this is the Star Wars film many have waited over 30 years for. |
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Keeping my oar in through all the festive bollocks - WILLARD – Cringing momma's boy discovers a swarm of rats who help him do battle with his oppressive boss, but it all ends badly for him as he's essentially a bit of a prick. I liked this remake, with its vaguely Burtonesque visual sensibility and abundance of quirkiness (any film with Crispin Glover in pole position has got to be quirky, or maybe just funded by him somehow). There are strange undercurrents of race and class war, but then the Teardrop Family mulled wine is always a bit toxic around this time of year. Yep, definitely worth checking out, and actually Glover is one of my favourite star-like entities, so it really has a lot going for it... but we need the original to be released, too. THE HIDDEN – Really good mid/late eighties action horror about a psychopathic slug-like alien who inhabits some LA residents and takes them for a joy-ride... Kyle McLachlan is the slightly too stiff FBI guy who might just have a cosmic revelation of his own going down. Enjoyable stuff, punchy and swift and as chrome-slick eighties as hell. No-one seems to talk about films like this and 'Dead Heat' etc etc anymore. I'd forgotten about it until a pile of DVDs toppled over in Frankie Mansions the other day. Recommended, anyway. LAND OF THE DEAD – Good addition to the fabled three and proof that George can still cut it in the present tense (even though this is what? Nearly ten years old or something? Christ, seems like yesterday when it first came out). It has an interesting class-divided future America which is still languishing in post-zombie apocalypse, Dennis Hopper as a bad man, a slightly cheesy zombie revolutionary sub-plot and lots of gore. Absorbing and creditable. PREDATORS – I've never really gone in for the 'Predators' franchise all that much, but I dig the first two. I picked this up not expecting a lot, and it doesn't break any new ground, but why would it? Its remit is pretty much – get in there, do some shooting, take no prisoners, get out again – just like any other action horror. On the other hand, 'Predators' is well done and diverting, and strangely enough seems to play like a long, drawn out and fever ridden initiation ceremony. Goddamn that mulled wine again, muthas. Good. ICE CREAM MAN – One of the things I like most about still being a fan is that sense that there will always be some weird little flick you've never heard of that'll come along and trip you up. Well, 'Ice Cream Man' didn't really trip me up, but I'd never heard of it before and that was enough to pique my interest and keep me watching. Actually, it's pretty interesting – it has that 'nineties' feel to it (what do I mean by that? Who knows) and a genuinely eerie quality too as an estranged, vaguely warped atmosphere gathers form like a rictus grin and we begin our journey into the realm of a demented ice cream guy who had his mind blown in a horrible psyche ward and who now seems to have it in for kids big time. Good things crop up here and there, like ridiculous severed-head ice cream cones. Dunno, it could've been a bit edgier, gone for the gore a bit more... but I'm a mean, ungrateful and spiteful man, particularly at this time of year with all its bitter, sorrowful jugfuls of mulled wine. Did I mention mulled wine? Yes, mulled wine. CONTRACTED 2 – You might think otherwise, but it seems that even these days there's still room left for yet another zombie virus flick. The original 'Contacted' was a subdued affair which tried to match Cronenbergian bodily weirdness with the tones of an indie relationships drama. Part 2 ups the ante a bit when it comes to the gore and the action, and it plays more like a straight horror flick, albeit a slightly lugubrious one. There's some neat yuckiness going around, but it steadfastly refuses to show the viewer anything they haven't seen before. Looks like its setting itself up as a series... I do quite resent films which end with a really obvious “and here's what's going to happen next” sign. SPLATTER UNIVERSITY – An early Troma product refurbished by 88 Films. It's a second wave slasher film (unless I just made that concept up) set in a university where there's a killer on the lose, but who is it and who's going to die next? Great concept, but anyway. Slightly strange atmosphere in that it veers from played-for-laughs to something nastier, not that it works on either level, really. The best thing about it is that it's grindingly, oppressively cheap-looking, with clumsy editing (and acting, natch), directing, and sets that seem thrown together out of nothing. Despite all this, something kept me watching, and for some reason I'd like to check it out again. Nice knackered sounding electronic score, eighties style. |
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