Fav Movie Quotes

[MrBarlow]

Hitman.

Agent 47: the man you've been chasing is a killer. A Ghost. Rumour has it he works for a group known as "The Organisation". So secret, no one knows it exists. Takes no sides, yet it has ties to every government. It's some purpose is the training and conditioning of professional killers. These men are selected at birth, rejects, orphans-all of them unwanted and disposable. They are made experts in every aspect of combat. And programmed for one purpose...To Kill.

[MrBarlow]

Misery.

Annie Wilkes: I know I left my scrapbook out. I can imagine what you might be thinking of me. But you see, Paul, it's all okay. Last night it came so clear. I realized you just need more time. Eventually, you'll come to accept the idea of being here. Paul, do you know about the early days at the Kimberly diamond mines? Do you know what they did to the Native workers who stole diamonds? Don't worry, they didn't kill them. That would be like junking your Mercedes just because it had a broken spring. No, if they caught them, they had to make sure they could go on working, but they also had to make sure they could never run away. The operation was called hobbling.

[Annie places a piece of wood between Paul's ankles]

Paul Sheldon: Annie, whatever you're thinking about doing, please don't do it.

[Annie picks up a sledgehammer]

Paul Sheldon: Annie, for God's...

Annie Wilkes: Shh darling, trust me.

Paul Sheldon: God's sake...

Annie Wilkes: It's for the best.

Paul Sheldon: Annie, please!

[Annie swings the sledgehammer at Paul's left ankle, breaking it; Paul screams in agonizing pain]

Annie Wilkes: Almost done. Just one more.

[Annie swings the sledgehammer at Paul's right ankle, breaking it; Paul again screams]

Annie Wilkes: God, I love you.

[MrBarlow]

This always cracks me up. INNERSPACE.

(Jack is in a doctor's waiting room and hears Tucks voice)

Tuck: Will you talk to me please, what's your name?

Jack: were you talking to me?

Male Patient: NO!

Tuck: I'm not out there i'm in here!

Jack: Did you hear that?

Female patient: Hear what?

Jack: You didn't hear that?

Female Patient: No i'm sorry i didn't hear anything, are you feeling fine?

Jack: Would i be fine if i was in a doctor's office?

Tuck: Look pal we gotta talk!

Jack: No we don't.

Male patient: Don't what?

Jack: Don't have to talk.

Tuck: Yes we do.

Jack: We do?

Female Patient: Do what.

Jack. Have to talk?

Female patient: Only if you want to.

Tuck: I'm in here inside you, inside your body.

(Jack stands up)

Jack: Oh god, somebody help me...I'M POSSESSED.



Dr. Greenbush: Uh, good news Jack! I think we can rule out demonic possession right off the bat.

Jack Putter: But, the little voice from inside was talking to me.

Dr. Greenbush: See, that proves it: demons talk THROUGH you - not TO you.

[MrBarlow]

The Usual Suspects.

[suspects in a lineup are asked to read a phrase]

Interrogation Cop: Number 1, step forward.

Hockney: Hand me the keys, you f***ing cocksucker.

Interrogation Cop: Number 2, step forward.

McManus: Give me the f***ing keys, you f***ing cocksucking motherf***er, aaarrrghh.

Interrogation Cop: Knock it off. Get back. Number 3, step forward.

Fenster: [laughing] Hand me the keys, you cocksucker.

Interrogation Cop: In English, please?

Fenster: Excuse me?

Interrogation Cop: In English.

Fenster: Hand me the f***ing keys, you cocksucker, what the f***?


Verbal: After that my guess is that you will never hear from him again. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.

[MrBarlow]

The Silence Of The Lambs.

Hannibal Lecter: [shouts] No!

[normal voice]

Hannibal Lecter: I will listen now. After your father's murder, you were orphaned. You were ten years old. You went to live with cousins on a sheep and horse ranch in Montana. And...?

Clarice Starling: [tears begin forming in her eyes] And one morning, I just ran away.

Hannibal Lecter: No "just", Clarice. What set you off? You started at what time?

Clarice Starling: Early, still dark.

Hannibal Lecter: Then something woke you, didn't it? Was it a dream? What was it?

Clarice Starling: I heard a strange noise.

Hannibal Lecter: What was it?

Clarice Starling: It was... screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child's voice.

Hannibal Lecter: What did you do?

Clarice Starling: I went downstairs, outside. I crept up into the barn. I was so scared to look inside, but I had to.

Hannibal Lecter: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?

Clarice Starling: Lambs. The lambs were screaming.

Hannibal Lecter: They were slaughtering the spring lambs?

Clarice Starling: And they were screaming.

Hannibal Lecter: And you ran away?

Clarice Starling: No. First I tried to free them. I... I opened the gate to their pen, but they wouldn't run. They just stood there, confused. They wouldn't run.

Hannibal Lecter: But you could and you did, didn't you?

Clarice Starling: Yes. I took one lamb, and I ran away as fast as I could.

Hannibal Lecter: Where were you going, Clarice?

Clarice Starling: I don't know. I didn't have any food, any water and it was very cold, very cold. I thought, I thought if I could save just one, but... he was so heavy. So heavy. I didn't get more than a few miles when the sheriff's car picked me up. The rancher was so angry he sent me to live at the Lutheran orphanage in Bozeman. I never saw the ranch again.

Hannibal Lecter: What became of your lamb, Clarice?

Clarice Starling: They killed him.






Hannibal Lecter: Tell me, Senator: did you nurse Catherine yourself?

Senator Ruth Martin: What?

Hannibal Lecter: Did you breast-feed her?

Paul Krendler: Now wait a minute...

Senator Ruth Martin: Yes, I did.

Hannibal Lecter: Toughened your nipples, didn't it?

Paul Krendler: You son of a bitch!

Hannibal Lecter: Amputate a man's leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, mum, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?

Senator Ruth Martin: Take this... *thing* back to Baltimore!

Hannibal Lecter: Five foot ten, strongly built, about a hundred and eighty pounds; hair blonde, eyes pale blue. He'd be about thirty-five now. He said he lived in Philadelphia, but he may have lied. That's all I can remember, mum, but if I think of any more, I will let you know. Oh, and Senator, just one more thing: love your suit!

[MrBarlow]

Team America: World Police.


Terrorist: What do you know?

Gary Johnston: I heard there might be a large terrorist attack. If you tell me what it is, maybe I could help out.

Terrorist: Get out of here! We have put out a jihad on the infidels because they destroyed our lives. What do you know about pain and sadness?

[Gary pauses, recalls sounds of gorillas roaring]

Gary Johnston: I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in their Blackhawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery black liquid death. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help. As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone. It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don't believe it, then you'd better kill me now, because I'll put a jihad on you, too.

Terrorist: I like you. You have balls. I like balls.


Guy in Bar: See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to f*** all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get f***ed by dicks. But dicks also f*** assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't f*** the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!


Kim Jong Il: You are worthress, Arec Barrwin!


Kim Jong Il: I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work rearry hard and make up get prans / but, nobody listens, no one understands / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, nobody erse seems to rearrize it / When I can the worrd maybe they'rr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeaaaaah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me..

[MrBarlow]

A bit of Sean Connery.

The Rock

Agent Paxton: [in the interrogation room] Mr. Mason, I'm Special Agent-in-Charge Ernest Paxton.

John Mason: In charge of what? ****ing me over for another three decades?

Agent Paxton: I don't know anything about your previous matters. We've brought you here because there's a situation that we think you can help us with.

John Mason: And what might that be? I've been in jail longer than Nelson Mandela, so maybe you want me to run for president.



General Hummel: Did they bother to tell you who I am and why I'm doing this or are they just using you like they do everybody else?

John Mason: All I know is that you were big in Vietnam, I saw the highlights on television.

General Hummel: Then you probably have no idea what it means to lead some of the finest men on God's earth into combat and then watch their memories get betrayed by their own ****ing government.

John Mason: I don't quite see how you cherish the memory of the dead by killing another million. And, this is not combat, it's an act of lunacy, General Sir. Personally, I think you're a ****ing idiot.


Stanley Goodspeed: [while in the tunnels underneath Alcatraz] You enjoying this?

John Mason: Well, it's certainly more enjoyable than my average day... reading philosophy, avoiding gang rape in the washrooms... though, it's less of a problem these days. Maybe I'm losing my sex appeal.



The Untouchables

Malone: [at the police training academy] Why do you want to join the force?

George Stone: To protect the property and citizenry of...

Malone: Ah, don't waste my time with that bullshit. Where you from, Stone?

George Stone: I'm from the south-side.

Malone: Stone. George Stone. That's your name? What's your real name?

George Stone: That is my real name.

Malone: Nah. What was it before you changed it?

George Stone: Giuseppe Petri.

Malone: Ah, I knew it. That's all you need, one thieving wop on the team.

George Stone: Hey, what's that you say?

Malone: I said that you're a lying member of a no good race.

George Stone: [He cuffs Stone across the face. As he draws back his arm again, Stone presses a gun under his chin] Much better than you, you stinking Irish shit pig.

Malone: Oh, I like him.

Ness: [Ness looking a bit nervous and Malone smiling at Stone] Yeah I like him too.


Malone: [on the walkway underneath a bridge] OK, pal, why the mahaska? Why are you carrying the gun?

Ness: I'm a treasury officer.

Malone: Alright. Just remember what we talked about now.

[Malone walks away]

Ness: Hey, wait a minute! What the hell kind of policemen you got in this god damn city? You just turned your back on an armed man.

Malone: You're a treasury officer.

Ness: How do you know that? I just told you that.

Malone: Who would claim to be that who was not? Hmm?

[Inspector Abberline]

[to Ray; referring to the man tied up in the boot of his car]
Coach: His name is Phuhuc, but spelt with a PH, so it sounds like fuhuck.
Ray: So it’s Phuhuc?
Coach: What? Yeah. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Anyway, he’s the kid that gave us the skunk farm job. Do you know him?
[to the Phuc]
Ray: Yeah. We’ve met before, haven’t we, Phuhuc, Phuc?
Coach: That’s the one.
Ray: Phuhuc?
Coach: Phuhuc

[Susan Foreman]

EVERYONE knows the quote from 'Airplane' (1980):

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Dr. Rumack: I am serious...and don't call me Shirley

BUT...how many people know that the joke had previously appeared in the John Landis film 'Schlock' (1973):

Joe Putzman: But surely, Professor Shlibovitz...
Professor Shlibovitz: No, that's Professor Shirley Shlibovitz. A strange quirk of my mother's.

[Inspector Abberline]

Dr. Millard Rausch, Scientist : [interrupting] It is worth saving? Is a bite victim worth saving? For all I know, it's the brains that are already dead. It's the idiots that are still alive.