5th February 2015, 10:50 AM
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| Cultist on the Rampage | | Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, UK | |
CARNAGE ROAD: THE LEGEND OF QUILTFACE - I sometimes ask myself what I really get out of watching these kind of films. By 'these kind of films' I mean movies which look like they've been dragged through dirt and left to fester in the depths of some cinematic septic tank before being translated into third generation camcorder footage. The lowest of the low, the most abject of the abject... the 'shot on video' faction, back when that term had a meaning, brought us some epic stylessness, and I guess that's what I'm looking for when I watch the likes of 'Quiltface'. Basically a slasher flick with an arch-dude who isn't afraid to present his supposedly 'actual' face as a rubbish special effect, 'Quiltface' offers nothing new, but it does hit enough of those dysfunctional highs to endear itself to me... these being, in this case, the male lead's increasingly hysterical performance, the fact that whoever made it obviously only had access to one death scene sound effect , the last minute swerve into 'buddies from 'Nam' territory, the killer's cool mask. All of which come wrapped in poorly shot and edited AV. A real charmer if you go for this kind of thing, which I do.
LAS VEGAS BLOODBATH - Despite the best efforts of Arrow, 88 Films and various other dedicated horror boutiques, some movies will NEVER EVER make it onto Blu-Ray. I think the world, and those movies themselves, are better off for this. Like 'Quiltface', LVB is a difficult to fathom oddity from the yesteryear of grotty SOV. Who makes stuff like this anymore? Who made it back then? For what reasons? We can all understand the fan-boy enthusiasm of a Nathan Schiff, but did anyone ever expect to make any money out of something like this? Certainly, you wouldn't use it as your Hollywood calling card. Anyway, needless to say, I love LVB. I love the way it sets up its stall with what feels like a ten minute static shot of a guy on the phone which is just SLIGHTLY lopsided. I love the way that, after a preamble involving a bit of HG Lewis type gore, we get to the real meat of the piece - an hour of seemingly improvised, verite style scenes of female wrestlers chatting in someone's front room. I guarantee that if by this point you resist the urge to turn off your player and reconfigure your copy of LVB into an ashtray, you'll be mesmerised as a reward. It gets better - LVB's slimy killer (who might have a mullet, can't remember), bursts into lady wrestler's hangout and rips the foetus out of someone's stomach. Cue a bit more gore before end. As numbing as it is enthralling, 'Las Vagas Bloodbath' is an indie-gutter masterpiece and deserves a blighted hall of fame all to itself.
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